Is your mother Native American? If she is, so are you. This would very significantly raise your chances at your high reach schools, above and beyond the geographical diversity thing. It may also open up certain scholarship opportunities reserved for Native Americans.
Can you really formulate such definite opinions about schools based upon the short visit you may have made there? The way you described Harvard has absolutely nothing in common with my kid’s experience there, or that of their friends there.
You’re gonna run out of money. You’re very likely to be deemed full pay, which means over 80K at private schools that don’t award merit. Since private school is important to your family for your younger sibs, unless your parents are willing to cosign private loans for you to the tune of about 100K, you’re not going to be able to afford 4 yrs at a private college. You can either shoot for merit money at 3rd tier LACs, or plan on U Washington for in-state tuition. You sound as if you’d be missing the peer group you deserve by choosing the 3rd tier LAC merit route, so it seems to me that U W is the best course of action for you and your family.
Colleges are unlikely to factor in private school tuition burden for fin aid. Do the math. Assuming private school tuition of 30K/yr, that’s 120K for each of 4 kids, or 500K. Add in your parents allotted 200K/kid for college, that’s another 800K, or total of 1.3 mil in tuition, WITHOUT paying for private college. Add on another 800K (200 each kid) to make it private college for all 4 kids, and we’re talking over 2 million in tuition for all the kids. 400K/yr sounds like a lot, until you factor in living expenses for a family of 6 that probably has at least 2 cars, a big house, and some keeping up with the Joneses. That income, high as it sounds, won’t easily cover private school and private college for 4 kids. So even though you sound as if you might get into one or two of your northeastern reach schools, it just doesn’t sound as if the money is securely there.
I suggest you sit down with your parents and have a serious discussion about college and money. Lay it all out for them. They may not realize how much private college tuition has gone up since their days. If they really cannot foot the bill for 4 yrs of private college, you’re going to need to work within their monetary limitations. From the record you’ve achieved in high school, I bet you’ll have a similar record in college. You should be able to go to grad school, fully funded by the institution, nearly anywhere you like in the US.