This thread caused me to remember that when my parents died my brother and I inventoried the jewelry in their safe deposit box. I took a bracelet that my mother always wore and we gave a ring to his daughter because we knew my mother wanted her to have it. I haven’t thought about the rest of it since. I know my brother got tired of paying the safe deposit fee and brought it all home and put it in his basement. I know there was some good stuff in there but none of us want to make any decisions about it.
Don’t do what my mother did with my grandmother’s diamond ring. There were two diamonds in the setting, one went to my sister and the other to me. My mother, I suppose thinking she was being thoughtful, had a necklace made for each of us using one diamond. Nothing I would ever wear, but I had not been consulted. I did want my grandmother’s diamond for sentimental reasons. I had the stone taken out of the necklace my mother designed and reset it with my engagement ring in a new ring design of my own choosing. I’ve happily worn that ring for years. I just wish I had been consulted before my mother acted. It would have saved her money and me hiding the fact that I didn’t want the diamond in a necklace for all these years!
A good friend of mine sold some of her mother’s jewelry through an auction house but I would reiterate that the value you get is low (especially after the auction house takes it commission) compared to the purchase price. Based on her experience, I’d say that splitting the jewelry among family members would be a better alternative.
re: selling at auction – I used to work in the Jewelry department of a big auction house. Yes, they take their commission (10%+) but as with any auction, if you have 2 bidders who really want your piece, you will realize a far greater net proceeds than if you sold it on your own. It might be worth to just get an estimate of what it would go for. I have bought and sold jewelry at auction. As long as you set a fair reserve, you might do well.
My mother had some jewelry, but nothing very fancy. A number of chains and some rings. We are in the throes of figuring out who gets what and I’m hoping one sibling doesn’t turn it into something horrific.
Anyway, as others have said, the retail markup on jewelry is astronomical, so other than the gold value, it may not be worth much. I will be having the gold weighed and the objects will be divided accordingly.
I begged H to stop buying me jewelry after he had bought me more than I can wear comfortably at a time (a bunch of rings, several necklaces and a few bracelets). I told him I only have one neck and only wear one ring in addition to my engagement ring at a time and rarely wear bracelets, so no need for much. He did stop, but we have some nice pieces that we can give D and any FDIL and grandkids.
There was one parent piece that had lovely tasteful diamonds and I suggested each grand daughter get one, but BIL/SIL were all about selling it, and we netted about 25% of the appraised value. Had I had my act together, I would have bought it for the net amount we received as you could not buy a nice diamond any cheaper. But it was too early and we were in the throws of everything being in an uproar, I don’t think they could have seen the fairness in me paying the net amount at that time 
After my mother died, my sister took pictures of all the jewelry and made a spreadsheet. Each of the 6 of us and the five granddaughters marked what we were most interested in and put an asterisk for our first and second choices. All 11 of us got either our first or second choice, plus other items. My DH still can’t believe it was all so equitable.
We put the jewelry out. Started with the eldest…who picked a piece. Went back and forth with them choosing until everything was taken.
At the end, there was some trading that took place.
It went very smoothly.
Anyone had experience selling or auctioning 22k gold?
@raclut – when I worked in the jewelry department of a major auction house, the experts would just throw it on a gold scale and estimate it at its cost per ounce (14, 18 or 22k)
Unless there are large precious stones (have it appraised) or high jewelry made by Cartier, Van Cleef, Bulgari, et al (again, have that appraised) most jewelry will be sold by weight and melted down. I’d have family members pick sentimental pieces that they like – most of the value will be to them, not monetarily by weight value.
Again thank you all for your help. Didn’t mean to post and run. I can’t get my BIL to take what belongs to him from the estate, let alone try to divide these things up. His girls are in college in Seattle, he lives on the east coast and we are in the middle–Ohio . This is really not about money, this is about being fair with what was left to us. I will have DH reach out to him one more time before we make any unchangeable decisions.
Yikes. That is hard bc you end up storing “stuff” if he doesn’t take it! And you don’t want to push too much, right?
If the jewelry seems expensive, do get it appraised all at once. That way you can be fair. If one kid picks the $20k ring, and all the other pieces appraise for $2k? Unless that isn’t an issue.
When my H’s grandmother passed away, he had an uncle who was going through some hard times. He was also estranged from his children at the time. My mil kept some items from her mil. Years later, the granddaughter mentioned that she didn’t have anything from her grandmother.
Mil had her come over and pick what she wanted. It was nice that she held onto a few items. Mil is also in that point in her life that she wants to get rid of things. She didn’t keep much, just a few odds and ends.
My mom on the other hand has this compulsion to get rid of everything. She got rid of everything of my dads. Even things like their grill, because that’s what my dad did, grill.
I guess it’s a fine line between keeping too much or too little.
Craigslist is your friend for smaller items. Make sure to ask a high price and then get bargained down.
“Again thank you all for your help. Didn’t mean to post and run. I can’t get my BIL to take what belongs to him from the estate, let alone try to divide these things up. His girls are in college in Seattle, he lives on the east coast and we are in the middle–Ohio . This is really not about money, this is about being fair with what was left to us. I will have DH reach out to him one more time.”
Why don’t you call your nieces and ask them what they’d like? Take pictures and let them choose.