<p>^^^ 298
I love that movie</p>
<p>IT’S SHOWTIME!</p>
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<p>The school probably thinks we’re huge pains in the rear because we actually call and ask what award they are getting. (It is almost always perfect attendance, so we all skip the ceremony.)</p>
<p>Hunt has it right: let’s stop tiptoeing around the issue. There are times, and last night was one of them, when it’s clear an injustice is being done by the adults making the award decisions. We are not talking about cases of a parent thinking their kid is better than the kid actually is. I could give concrete details about my D, but have already said too much. You’ll just have to trust me when I say that there was no other senior athlete present who achieved what my D achieved both academically and athletically. Who knows what the motivation was. It could be envy or jealousy on the part of parents on the board of the booster club whose kids did not achieve what D did, it could be a desire on the part of the faculty decision-makers to level the playing field by awarding honors to everyone but D, it could be that D is a rotten, awful, entitled brat, but I’m telling you that if they are giving numerous awards for which the sole criterion was athletic achievement, then D deserved one.</p>
<p>Therefore, since human nature is what it is, there should be some safeguards in place. For example, in this case, maybe the AD should have reviewed the selections before they were finalized. But integrity and professionalism should be in evidence.</p>
<p>I have had teachers say to me I know your S deserves … But he will do so well in life that we decided to give it to someone else. Maybe that is the thinking towards your D also.</p>
<p>TheGFG, this may offer little satisfaction, but most of the people at the ceremony were probably wondering why your D didn’t win the award.</p>
<p>My D has competed all through school for a certain award. It is awarded through a point system and by April, we knew that another girl had squeezed by my D on points. I’m positive that everyone at the event expected my D to win the award. No one but us, the teacher and the other girl’s family knew what she got points for that led to her getting the award. </p>
<p>I told my D that after the Academy Awards, the world really doesn’t think that Sanda Bullock is a better actress than Meryl Streep.</p>
<p>In my D2’s school there is a list of people who can grant awards and there isn’t always coordination. It’s entirely possible that the list of people who could grant awards that might scoop up a particular, worthy honoree might each think that one of the others did and have no one actually do so.</p>
<p>We also have teachers who “don’t play the game.” They probably hate awards ceremonies as much as any of us…so they don’t give awards for their class…so if you happen to ace their class, no award.</p>
<p>I love this thread!! Band awards banquet is coming up - I fully expect all the top awards and scholarships to go to the children of the band parents assoc officers, and next the guard girls - they’re easy to like b/c they don’t take any classes with the band directors, and they’re coached by an outside team, so there is no day to day interaction there. It’s a lot harder to give an award to a kid you see every morning at 7:00AM, who plays a note wrong occassionally!! Some of the award recipient’s really do deserve it - other choices mystify us!!</p>
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<p>How many awards did they give? “Deserving” one only works if the total number of awards equals the total number or deserving people. It’s pretty rare that my favorite movie wins “Best Picture”… but usually the other movies nominated are pretty good films, too. And even when I absolutely hate the movie that won – I have to acknowledge that there is something there that others might like or appreciate.</p>
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I’m not talking about that kind of unfair…I’m talking about the kind where (for example) the people making the decisions don’t follow their own criteria. Or when they lie to the kids. I fully recognize that there are times when other people may simply not recognize my kids’ magnificence–but there are other times when adults behave dishonorably, and that can affect awards, sports, dramatic roles, who is first chair in the orchestra, or who gets to be a crossing guard. When that happens to your kid, there are no platitudes that make you feel much better.</p>
<p>I guess I don’t know why its so hard for some posters here to accept that some kids are unfairly cheated out of recognition they’ve earned and deserve. Do you really think that doesn’t happen?</p>
<p>I’m going to look for this at the awards tomorrow night. There is one girl who is a nationally-recognized (whatever the word is) athlete. The only athlete of any achievement in the school (not an athletic school, really), also in the top 5 (not %) in the class. If she doesn’t get something, I will thing it’s wrong.</p>
<p>Wow, I take a day off from the computer and have a lot of catching up to do!</p>
<p>D has been in head-to-head competition with another girl for music awards and scholarships all year long … a friendly competition but still with teeth. At last night’s music banquet, it was nice to see that both kids were recognized by both the serious teacher’s awards and the funny kid’s choice awards (“most talkative” etc) for their different talents… and that other kids were recognized for their contributions also.</p>
<p>Ironically, my D is showing off her “participation for 4 years award” (a very nice plaque) more than the really meaningful one (which just has a nice certificate).</p>
<p>It’ll probably end up in the box with all the baseball participation trophies…</p>
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<p>When Meryl Streep came to Barnard, she made a point of joking that she was a 14-time loser at the Academy Awards. (She’s been nominated 16 times, but won only twice).</p>
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<p>I always think it’s nice when they give the four year participation awards…but then there’s always the kid (usually a guy) who has been in the lowest level of choir all four years, and it’s really awkward for him to be the only one in his choir getting one (because everyone else is a freshman!)</p>
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<p>“Cheated?” </p>
<p>I understand that the process can be very unfair and favoritism can play a huge part. It’s been very obvious to me over the years that many kids are often given awards as a proxy for their parent’s (usually the mom’s) relentless volunteer work for the PTA or whatever.</p>
<p>But the part I don’t get is the “deserve” part. Unless the criteria are totally objective, then no one particular kid “deserves” the award. Even objective criteria tend to have a set of rules that can be seen as unfair – such as when the kid who transfers into the high school junior year is disqualified from being Valedictorian. And so-called “objective” criteria often depends on underlying circumstances that were themselves unfair. </p>
<p>I mean … whose to say that the grading process in every class was “fair”? Maybe a kid gets a B in History because the teacher is pushing a political agenda that the kid won’t agree with. Maybe one kid math from the toughest teacher in the school and gets a couple of B’s, and there’s another kid who has the same classes on paper but an easier teacher, and get’s A’s because the problems on the exams are easier and the teacher grades with a liberal curve. Maybe a kid is selected to be team captain of a sport in a process that is itself more of a popularity contest than a determination of which person is best suited for that role.</p>
<p>Yes, cheated…as in, violating the established criteria. Calmom, don’t you think that there are people who cheat others? Why is it so hard to believe that some of those cheaters are people who hand out awards or other benefits? If somebody steals something from me, I don’t know why it would be better to convince myself that there must be some reasonable explanation for why they took it.</p>
<p>I don’t think a person can “steal” something from you that you didn’t have in the first place.</p>
<p>I’m waiting to see if S2 is up for any awards. The award ceremonies are still two weeks off - they’ll let us know ahead of time if he’s getting something. He’s not a super active kid, or a tippy-top student so he could easily not make the cut. (Though he did get a book award last year.) I just want to go so I can find out where the top 25 kids are going to college!</p>
<p>TheGFG, I can’t help thinking it might make you feel better if you could somehow talk to someone at your school and find out what happened. I don’t know if you could manage to do it in a way that would make them squirm instead of making you look bad though. My daughter was wondering if she comes across too strong? Something on that order?</p>
<p>Hunt, I guess we’re just having a hard time imagining the scenario where deviation from the rules wouldn’t be obvious. For example, if there was a rule that the lead in the musical had to be a jr or sr and they gave it to a freshman, lots of people would call them out on it. Or if the student had to be passing all his classes to be in the show and he wasn’t passing, the adminstration would put the hammer down. You probably don’t want to reveal too many specifics, but we aren’t being dense on purpose.</p>
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You might think so, but you might be mistaken. In some cases, it may be impossible to prove that a decision was made for improper reasons, of course. But that doesn’t mean that it was made for proper ones, either. But I mean, really–adults of all kinds commit all kinds of chicanery–what’s so difficult about accepting that sometimes they commit this kind?</p>