Senior Washed Up Girls at Yale

Parents Forum
501

<p>PostPunkMom:</p>

<p>I read your other posts. May your daughter thrive. I could not tell which school she is attending but this is what a google search turned up for Princeton. It appears to be free. [Public</a> Safety](<a href=“http://web.princeton.edu/sites/publicsafety/RAD.htm]Public”>http://web.princeton.edu/sites/publicsafety/RAD.htm)</p>

<p>Here is what I found for Yale. <a href=“http://yaledailynews.com/blog/2008/10/21/defense-classes-aid-elis/[/url]”>http://yaledailynews.com/blog/2008/10/21/defense-classes-aid-elis/&lt;/a&gt;
You may want to check out the school she will attend.</p>

502

<p>I agree 07Dad, that alcohol and drug use can trump skills in such a situation. But young women who are confident in their skill set and confident in themselves are a much less attractive target. If the predator suspects she may fight him and will yell, scream and report him, he’s apt to find another victim.</p>

<p>Which means she’s only deflecting the attack on her. He will look elsewhere. Which is why it’s so vital that other students, especially young men, understand these guys are criminal predators and don’t deserve their protection.</p>

503

<p>Thanks so much for your kind words, 07DAD. I do appreciate them. And thanks for the link… exactly the sort of program I was hoping for. Her college does offer RAD, but the literature online does not make it clear whether it’s free or not (although I imagine it probably is). I’ve put in a call to the coordinator to find out for sure, and am awaiting a response. I will have her sign up for the earliest class.</p>

504

<p>PostPunkMom, if I were sending a daughter–or son–off to college now, I think I would have her or him read the two papers we’ve seen linked here and discuss them before school starts. Seriously.</p>

<p><a href=“http://www.middlebury.edu/media/view/240951/original/[/url]”>http://www.middlebury.edu/media/view/240951/original/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p><a href=“https://www.ncjrs.gov/pdffiles1/nij/182369.pdf[/url]”>https://www.ncjrs.gov/pdffiles1/nij/182369.pdf&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>I would make it clear, especially to a D, that the beginning of freshman year is the most vulnerable period, and while you want her to have a good time and you have confidence in her, you also want her to be informed.</p>

<p>All of the self-defense classes in the world won’t help if she allows herself to be plied with alcohol and isolated or otherwise coerced.</p>

505

<p>I agree Consolation, and those are excellent articles in your links.</p>

506

<p>See also Mini’s link to a paper which references the Dept of Justice study, and many others.</p>

507

<p>Here’s another interesting article–co-authored by David Lisak–about false reports of sexual assault.
<a href=“http://www.ndaa.org/pdf/the_voice_vol_3_no_1_2009.pdf[/url]”>http://www.ndaa.org/pdf/the_voice_vol_3_no_1_2009.pdf&lt;/a&gt;
The article says that the research on the frequency of false reporting isn’t very strong, but tends to suggest between 2 and 8 percent. They go on to assert that many people think the frequency of false reporting is much higher than that. I wonder if that’s true. I’ve always assumed that false reports were a small minority of all reports. 2 to 8 percent is pretty many, honestly–certainly enough to worry about the proof problems that I keep perseverating about. The article has some interesting points about what characteristics false reports are likely to have, which might be important in investigating reports of assault.</p>

508

<p>BYU and Notre Dame have only single sex dorms (I think). A BYU professor has opined that the single sex environment probably has only a small if any positive impact on binge drinking/casual sex</p>

<p>[BYU</a> Prof on Single-Sex Dorms: Religious Beliefs Better Predictor than Environment](<a href=“http://www.cardinalnewmansociety.org/CatholicEducationDaily/DetailsPage/tabid/102/ArticleID/552/byu-prof-on-single-sex-dorms-religious-beliefs-better-predictor-than-environment.aspx]BYU”>The Cardinal Newman Society)</p>

<p>Back in 2003-4 when there was a rape charge against some BYU football players, the Provo police spokesperson revealed the belief that 90% of all rapes in Provo go unreported due to the victim’s religious beliefs. <a href=“http://www.deseretnews.com/article/515039389/90-of-Provo-rapes-not-reported-to-police.html?pg=all[/url]”>http://www.deseretnews.com/article/515039389/90-of-Provo-rapes-not-reported-to-police.html?pg=all&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

509

<p>My personal opinion is that the solution is going to lie with the victims, honestly. We can create an environment in which it is easy to report and in which the victims feel supported and understood in the process, rather than the generally retaliatory systems universities have had in place for decades. But, in the end, due to the nature of these sexual offenders, their names will show up more than once if we can get the reporting to a high enough rate.</p>

<p>I’m a big believer in innocent until proven guilty. But, I think if even attempted rapes are reported, along with rapes, and the records are kept? This will go a long way to making our campuses safer.</p>

<p>It’s an unfortunate reality, but the only real solution to this is the victims coming forward. Like all criminal sexual offenders, these perpetrators have patterns.</p>

510

<p>I agree with that, poetgrl, although I think better education of potential perpetrators–and other men who are around them–is part of the solution, too.</p>

511

<p>Back in the day when I was a crime reporter, part of the job was trolling through the blotter sheets of the proceeding day or week. On rape reports, the victim’s name was blacked out but NOT the suspect’s. Which is just one reason why reporting is important.</p>

<p>And yes, talking to our own sons about being advocates for young women is the first step in putting an end to the rape culture on campuses.</p>

512

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<p>Hunt–the literature has false accusation rates from 1 to 90 percent. DNA is now providing some means to get hard data on incorrect rape/sexual assault convictions. The following article seems to delve into the false accusations as well.
[The</a> Forensic Examiner | Archive | Spring 09](<a href=“http://www.theforensicexaminer.com/archive/spring09/15/]The”>http://www.theforensicexaminer.com/archive/spring09/15/)</p>

<p>Recently a California school district recovered a $2 million judgment against a false accuser. Such recoveries can be argued to provide addition assurance against false reporting if the false accuser can be successfully sued.</p>

513

<p>Consolation, thank you for the links. I agree with everything you wrote, and already shared the DOJ paper with my daughter a few months ago, and have talked with her extensively about what we read. The Lisak paper I read yesterday (after encountering it in this thread), and plan to share that with her as well.</p>

<p>Fortunately, she and I are very close and she feels comfortable talking to me about this issue. I make it a point to know her friends and acquaintances, I never judge a book by it’s cover, and I have in the past had her sever a friendship with two boys whose behavior with another girl was a red flag to me. She was upset for a while, as she really valued those friendships, but after I explained my reasoning to her and she let it sink in for a while, she understood, and I later (over)heard her on the phone explaining the situation to another friend, using words that mirrored my own.</p>

<p>Not being there with her to help her gauge the new friends she will be making is concerning; I hope she keeps me in the loop, as she has said she will. There are so many more distractions these days than when I was in college, with FB and tumblr and tiny computers in everyone’s pockets. I hope she remembers all my teaching about keeping her senses heightened, her antennas constantly alert, even as I wish for her a wonderful, fun experience.</p>

<p>She came to me earlier today saying she hopes to make a few close girlfriends in higher classes who know the ropes more and can help look out for her, as her roomies did during college previews. Of course, she always has to look out for herself.</p>

<p>As a victim of violent (non-sexual) domestic assault myself, I am hypervigilant. I tend to err on the side of caution, as I know she will have no problem finding like-minded, fun-loving friends. That was a big consideration in the college she ultimately chose.</p>

<p>I also related my own college experiences to her honestly, and had her read the Rolling Stone expose about frat life.</p>

514

<p>I have found these links to be eye opening, and will be sharing them with my daughter this evening. They put some detailed analysis and data points behind what I understood only from my own (limited) experience up until now. I think it will help her be “smarter” about navigating her freshman year.</p>

515

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<p>Anything written by Janet Reitman should be taken with a very large grain of salt, IMHO.</p>

<p>If Andrew Lohse had attended a Halloween party with a Haunted House where someone put a peeled grape in his hand and said it was an eyeball, he would have claimed that it really was an eyeball and she would treat the claim as gospel. Not that there isn’t hazing at colleges, and not that it isn’t abhorrent.</p>

516

<p>(Wanted to respond to a PM, but cannot yet do so due to my post count. If desired, send me an email address, and I will respond to that).</p>

517

<p>If you have a low post count, just go over to the “Chances” forum and tell a bunch of kids to have reaches, matches, and safeties.</p>

518

<p>^ lol Hunt</p>