They are all the same. It is not some lavish retirement if that is what you are alluding to :-). Long life is a serious actuarial problem. I don’t lightly wish it on people unless I know they are comfortable. No expense is spared for the kids, but sometimes we avoid going to the doctor thinking about the co-pay. Our own visit feels unnecessary :-).
I think the correct way of framing this is to recognize that one expense is urgent, and the other one (saving) is not urgent but important.
Both are necessary, and need to be accounted for.
At the same time, it is necessary to invest in kid’s education as freely as possible because that investment is time sensitive, and makes a lot of difference. It is better they receive the 300k or whatever now than receiving more money 40 years from now.