Just saw a typo (that’s what not thoroughly proofreading will do!); there are two definite articles describing the “overflowing cart.”
It looks like we’re down to 119 words…
@lookingforward - It was actually fun to do – a great exercise for kids of all ages!
I think we had exercises like that in hs. In ten words or less, describe an event. “Just the facts. Ma’am.” But for an app, with some charm, humility, or whatever will catch the reader.
In fact, boiling down OP’s D’s message to a minimum number of words helps focus on the gist, first.
“I only went to the meal site because my friend needed a ride. It wasn’t that interesting folding utensils into napkins or moving chairs. But with the first scoops of mashed potatoes I served, I could see how important our work was for the people who came for the dinner. I learned this would be the only meal for some, that weekend. They were grateful and I was happy to help. At the end of the shift, I signed up to come back, have been on the team since junior year. I told others about this work. Now there are five friends from my hs who go together.”
Around 100 words. Just off the top of my head but shows willingness to give a friend a ride and try it out. The compassion and personal meaning, humility, the commitment, some recruiting. Adcoms don’t need to know how she got assigned to serve potatoes or whether she also peeled carrots, whether this was in a church basement or how guests dressed. Etc.
Here is my 120 word essay for:
Virginia Tech’s motto is “Ut Prosim” which means ‘That I May Serve’. We are interested in learning more about your interests and how you have been involved and/or served. Briefly describe a group, organization, or community that you have been involved with. Is this a special area of interest for you, and why? How long have you been involved? What role did you play? What contributions have you made to this group? Were you able influence others and/or influence decisions for the good of the group?
I have served at my church for many years. As a child, I always thought that people who worked at the church did everything. Later I learned that much of what happened in the church is all volunteers. I have been able to volunteer in a number of roles: Trustees, Ushering and Sunday School. As a Trustee, I served on the Grounds Committee. Should we pay someone to cut the lawn weekly? Yes. Should we pay someone to weed? No. How to balance what we could pay for versus what we could expect people to volunteer for was enlightening. And anything we would expect people to volunteer for, we knew we had to volunteer for as well.
Just had an experience of helping my kid to shorten his essay from about 850 words originally (colorful and charming narrative with several main points) to 650 for the Common App (lost some of the charm and ideas but retained others) to 250 for a supplement to a college which doesn’t use Common App (still tries to retain the narrative feel and gets the point across, but not much more). I think I really hate the word limits after this exercise (as opposed to general guidelines which don’t require you to try and cut all traces of personal style) .
My kid had one that was a “Why College X?” in some ridiculously short word count. She didn’t do sentences, she did a list. Like, “Strong X major grad school placement, bee keeping in school garden, annual quiz competition, and Thai House pad thai near campus!” She got in. ?