EFC would be no higher than around 36K,<<<<<<<<<
The fact is for a family that takes home your estimated 75K income post tax with just a 401k, 36K a yr is no more affordable than 60K a yr. This kid is not hearing what isn’t being said IMO. Many, maybe most, families earning well north of OPs income would also not pay full OOS rates. THAT is what needs to be said. I suspect the family are hoping for merit or aid in a cross your fingers way that will become clear as the offers come in.