Family income of $51,000 or more would only qualify OP for a partial Pell grant, maybe partial TAP.
Family can’t really afford to pay anything.
OP indicated that Stonybrook might be in communting distance, but still costs about $9,000 for tuition and fees, if OP does not qualify for or wants to enter into requirements for STEM scholarship.
I am not saying OP should go to OSU if it costs more. I am saying take a chance and apply to see what you might get.
Same with Howard. If he can attend for almost free, that would be better, right?
He cannot count on the Questbridge match either, these other schools provide options for him.