@Sybylla Can you please elaborate on how “[my] conversation here really is indicative the [sic] BYU is not for you”? Maybe you read too far into my tea joke? I’ve read into BYU quite a bit and I don’t see any conflicts than cannot be resolved. The Mormon lifestyle (apart from the religion itself) is strikingly similar to the lifestyle I already lead.
I’m not trying to sound rude, but your comment provides no context for your conclusions and I’d appreciate any context you can provide. Thanks in advance.
@philbegas From what I’ve read students at BYU drink caffeinated beverages like Coca-Cola, but like @allyphoe clarified they are not allowed to have tea and coffee.
Just to clarify, I’m not here to debate religion. Like I said, I’m not Anti-Theist so I respect and sometimes even partake in other people’s religious rituals as long as they don’t directly harm anyone. From what I’ve heard and experienced, most Mormons are incredibly friendly. I wish to discuss BYU, not question the Mormon faith.
BYU and the Mormon faith go hand in hand. It is really hard to separate them. If you are caught at BYU violating one of the rules, you run the risk of getting kicked out of the university. BYU is really serious about its student code of conduct and the school encourages students to report other students who are observed violating those rules.
The culture at BYU is really conservative. I have friends who lived in Salt Lake City and they are not Mormon. They experienced discrimination and being shunned on a pretty regular basis for politely declining invitations to go to church with their Mormon friends. My friends initially had great interactions with new Mormon friends, but once their Mormon friends learned that my friends would never convert to the Mormon religion, that’s where the friendliness ended. This was not a one-time thing. It happened several times over the duration of the years that they lived there.
If you are really serious about applying, then you should go tour the campus. And while you’re in Utah, you should also go tour the big Mormon church complex in Salt Lake City as well. It’s a unique experience and quite different than going on a church tour at a non-LDS church.
To be honest, I don’t think you’re a good fit for that school. If you do choose to go there, be prepared for having missionaries knocking on your door for 4 years. There’s nothing negative about that. Sometimes it can get a bit overwhelming so just know what you’re getting yourself into before you dive into the deep end of the pool.
@tucsonmom Thank you for your comprehensive reply! It’s really appreciated. See, I don’t have huge a problem with the conservative nature of the school or even the discrimination (I’m very much a minority where I currently live as well). I’m just concerned because I know I can’t go to Utah in order to take a tour. It’s quite a ways away from where I live and I just don’t have the time or resources. Do you think this inability to tour will axe my chances of acceptance? It’s not like my heart’s set on BYU, but I’m just wondering.
. I wish to discuss BYU, not question the Mormon faith.<<<<<
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LOL, you really are missing the point. BYU is living the LDS dream. You don’t get to acknowledge or tolerate a different faith, BYU has no hoots to give about diversity. The 2.5% non LDS will like as not be athletes.
Google the BYU ROTC story, that was pretty interesting. Not a student, not an undergrad, but LOL, some perspective.
@Sybylla Although I’ve seen stories of Non-Mormons facing some adversity, nothing I’ve read implies that “you don’t get to acknowledge or tolerate a different faith”. BYU students partake in Holi and they have humanities classes where they teach about other faiths (including my own).
I’m already aware of the whole ROTC situation in BYU, but I’m not planning to do anything that violates the Honor Code at BYU if I theoretically went there (including drinking coffee) so I don’t see how it’s relevant. Also, I’ve heard that Non-Member students at BYU can and do drink coffee when they’re not on campus grounds. Did you go to BYU? I’m not try to pass judgement or jump to conclusions but it seems like you have a strong bias against BYU and the Mormon faith in general.
Regardless, thank you for your contributions to this thread.
I have friends who were on both sides of this – Mormons at BYU, and non-Mormons there. The Mormons have confided that while Mormons are incredibly friendly and outwardly welcoming, it’s very superficial. They all felt very superior to and sorry for the outsiders. You would absolutely face discrimination – from teachers, from the administration, from fellow students, from opportunities. The non-Mormons who went say they’d never recommend it.
It’s a perfectly fine school, if you don’t mind one with a history of discriminating against women.
I can’t see how this could be a good idea. There are certainly Christian schools where dissent ant discussion are welcome, Jesuit schools have a reputation for being inclusive and welcoming of non Catholics. I would not consider BYU to be inclusive or tolerant to non Mormons. I would think culturally you would have a difficult time connecting with people and would feel very isolated.
My S knew someone who went there and they were constantly trying to recruit him to join the Morman church. He transferred in and stuck it out for the good, reasonably priced education, but he was never especially happy or comfortable at BYU.
@philbegas I am definitely not assuming that. Like I’ve said several times over, I am expecting to face adversity but adversity is not something I’m alien to.
@Pheebers I’ve read that story and I’ve also read that they’ve altered the Honor Code to accommodate for situations like that. I know there are better options, that’s why it’s 7th/8th in my college list and I may not even apply.
A lot of students apply to colleges without touring the campus, but they will tour the campus once they’ve received an acceptance letter. Under no circumstances would I recommend for you to go to BYU as a non-Mormon without touring the campus and surrounding area first.
I’m not sure what part of the country you currently live in, but the general culture in Utah is VERY different than in many other parts of the country. I think that you are being really naive and that’s not your fault, of course! If you have your heart set on studying CS at BYU, then by all means, go for it! But expect consistent non-stop religious recruitment the whole time you are there and that’s just the tip of the iceberg. Expect to encounter students whose main focus is finding a spouse and getting married quickly. Expect to encounter discrimination towards people who speak openly about & support individuals who are considered by the LDS church to have “alternative lifestyles.” This can include LGBTQ, but it can also include less obvious things like dying your hair purple, females dressing in a non-conservative style, or having a tattoo.
There’s nothing wrong with missionaries & their focus on recruiting more individuals to follow their faith, of course, but it can be very educational & surprising if you’re used to a very different culture from your neck of the woods.
Spend the $$ you would have spent on the BYU application and apply somewhere else where you’d probably be a lot happier.
@tucsonmom I’m looking at BYU while knowing all the things you mentioned to be true. I’m from the Midwest, so there’s a fair population of Mormons in my area and at my school. I’m also originally from a country that’s far more restrictive than Utah or any other state in the United States (unfortunately, it is illegal to be gay in said country), so I’m entirely used to that level of conservatism. I’m politically moderate so I won’t agree with some of the conservative political opinions of students at BYU, but growing up in a highly conservative culture I’m used to suppressing my more liberal views. Honestly, the conservatism is part of the reason I was interested in BYU. I’m not a huge fan of the partying/drinking culture of most of the universities in the United States and I think BYU stands out for being so sober.
My apologies, I should’ve given more background on the environment I was raised in.
There is a book called “The Unlikely Disciple” written by a Brown student who spent his junior year at Liberty U. While the situations are not identical, it could be a worthwhile read for you. The book is both hysterical and touching, and the author does a good job of describing what it felt like to be an outsider in an environment defined by a faith that was not his own. At best, it might give you a better idea of what it is to be a non-believer among believers. If it fails at that, it’s a fun read.
@Naperthrill , Perhaps, but that article’s less than a year old, and these things take a long time. The problem is cultural, and will not change with the change of a few words in their policy (although that’s an excellent start!)
I truly appreciate that it’s better than what you’re used to in your home country. But…you don’t have to pick something bad because you’re used to something worse. It’s not just about one issue, either. You will be at an educational disadvantage.
Internships, jobs around campus, basically preferred ANYTHING, go to Mormons. In essence, you would be setting yourself up to be a second-class citizen.
I am not anti-Mormon. As I said, I have some as close friends and I am fortunate that they were honest with me when my own daughters were going through the search process.
