Should I let my extremely academic/motivated Junior daughter model part time?

Parents Forum
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Some of us STEM/gifted women had to wait until college to find our peer group. No matter how much prestige modeling may seem to bring your D will always be the outsider for her intelligence and interests (I was a chemistry major undergrad and no way model worthy). Will popularity with HS classmates really be what she thinks it will be? Will she truly enjoy being with that crowd? There is a discussion to be had. Will HS classmates try to use her? It seems as though her motivation to belong will not be met by this endeavor- she will still be isolated in her activity that won’t make her relate better to her classmates. Sure, she will be wanted for what she learns about beauty and fashion- but that’s it.

Definitely go over the contract’s written words. Never let what anyone explains about the written contract count.

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^Good point about the contract. If it were me, I would pay for an attorney to go over it with a fine tooth comb.

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HI wis75 Thanks for your input. Luckily, my daughter has a longstanding, tight group of 9-10 friends --girls and boys-- at school who she hangs out with. They are the “smart” and “band” kids and provide each other with mutual support – homework/dating/etc. They are great kids. She is not in the “party” set nor does she want to be – as you point out, it is not really a crowd that she would enjoy hanging out with and she knows that. But she still wants to show that she “could” be cool if she wanted to be. She still feels a sting of “oh everyone beside my group is super cool as shown in their IG feeds.” Hence the modeling. It’s not about joining that set at all, but just saying “look, I have another facet to me.”

@MaineLonghorn My partner has gone over the contract with a fine tooth comb so we have some questions for the agency but it largely seems fine. (I also insisted that my daughter read it too just because she should know that one needs to do that kind of thing)

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Good luck to her! Let us know how things work out. I hope this is a fun and interesting experience for all of you.

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Based on everything you’ve posted, I think you should give it a shot. Your daughter seems to be pretty serious, and this seems to be her trying to break out of that mold a bit. Life will present her with many opportunities in life, and they’ll always come with pitfalls and drawbacks. You can’t save her from all of them. If she can thrive at this (meaning she doesn’t let the rejections and competitions get the best of her) she’ll be building life skills as well. I have a classmate from a very prestigious graduate school who continued modeling well into grad school. She gained access (through modeling) to dine internationally renowned figures who have now helped her launch her own professional search (not modeling) agency.

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Thanks, newtwinmom and mond2and. I will come back and provide updates as things progress.

Thanks again to everyone for such helpful and thoughtful commentary. It is much appreciated!

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I have a friend whose daughter is very tall 5’11”? and thin. She was approached senior year of HS.

After HS graduation, she took a gap year and went for it.

Not a big success, although she made good money for a very short period of time — overseas — before she was let go by the agency.

It IS hard for some people to get critiqued. Your walk, your pose, your facial expression, your skin, your weight…

Some of the other models overseas partied a lot & seemed to be looking for Sugar Daddies on their time off.

I don’t think they’d change a thing though; glad she experienced it. In their experience, It was definitely an adult world.

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@socowonder: While several issues & concerns come to mind, I am most curious about whether your expectations are realistic based on your written statements in the next to last paragraph in post #38 above. Will you really have that much control over your daughter’s modeling activities ? Best to address this with the agency prior to entering into a contractual relationship.

Although I do not know, I suspect that the agency’s reps will be spending more time with your daughter than you will with respect to her modeling activities, and I suspect that the modeling agency reps are highly skilled at influencing young models.

My point is that if you believe that you will be in control of your daughter’s modeling activities, then I think that you are being a bit unrealistic–although this is just a guess on my part. If the agency is going to commit their best efforts to developing your daughter’s talents, then the agency will expect the same level of commitment in return.

Have you contacted other young models with this or other major agencies in an effort to discuss their experiences ?

Verbal assurances about a contract are not worth the paper on which they are written.

Has your daughter considered taking a gap year before entering college in order to pursue her modeling career ? Is there a risk of performing poorly in both college & modeling if trying to do both at once ? Life is about choices & sacrifices & commitment.

At this time, you wrote that your daughter is considering applying to Reed & Vassar. If attempting to do both modeling & college at the same time, are these schools in a convenient location for modeling opportunities & obligations ?

I encourage you to hear the words of parent posters who have had direct experience with modeling, acting & ballet louder than those of us with only second hand knowledge or anecdotal information.

It is easy to understand how one such as your daughter can be affected by the offer of such a “glamorous” opportunity during a sensitive stage of her young life. If it is the right road & the right opportunity at the right time, then it deserves more than a part-time effort.

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@Publisher Thank you for your thoughtful reply. We have talked to a model now in her 30s who started young (is now a ‘parts’ model – chiefly having her hands photographed) as well as with a photographer based close to LA who works with models all the time. Both allayed our fears on a lot of fronts – there are a whole lot of protections in place for under age models and school HAS to come first. This is apparently one reason why young international models are very sought after b/c they do not have the protections in place that school-age US models do. We also know one of the models at this agency who is now studying at NYU-- she was scouted when she was 14 and my daughter actually met her at a Jazz camp several years ago. So being signed with this agency did not interrupt her college career and she continues to model for them part time in NYU.

So until she is 18 (which will get her safely to the college apps submitted stage) we do have veto power over everything. And that may impact what work she gets. So it will be a struggle between her and us if we have different ideas of how much school she would sacrifice. But I think she has her head screwed on very tight – she’s put countless hours into her school work up to this point and, though she may be disappointed to have to make some hard choices about modeling work – I feel very confident that she will continue to prioritize her academics. A gap year would be fine, if she wanted to use that to pursue modeling for a bit, as long as she had a deferred acceptance to a particular college in her pocket.

My main worry remains the self-image/anxiety angle. We will have to see how it goes, I guess and constantly check in with her about this.

You are right about Reed and Vassar’s locations. Funnily enough Reed is now off the table. We visited just this weekend and, though we loved the academics and the campus, the students did not seem very energized or happy, and my daughter was not enthused.

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As a sidenote: Reed College is ranked at #12 in a new list of Colleges That Pay Off The Least. Vassar College made the same list at #36.

Colleges & universities located in major metropolitan areas such as NYC, Los Angeles & Dallas, Texas should make such part-time work more feasible.

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I used to work in advertising and had the opportunity to work with models. In my observation, the vast, vast majority of models work only sporadically, do NOT develop body image issues, and are keenly aware that they will NOT make it big. For most, it’s a side gig. A side gig that often lets them meet interesting people, work on their professional/social skills.

If your daughter is intrigued, OP, and if both of you discuss all the various issues involved, make school and family life a priority, I see no major downsides to giving this a try.

Read up on “outs” of the contract. Encourage your daughter to be honest about her experiences. Accompany her to shoots if at all possible.

If it doesn’t work out, it doesn’t work out. But not trying – she’ll always wonder “what if.”

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It’s a good opportunity for your daughter. I think she can gain new skills and lessons from the modelling. Make sure that the model-school is real and read a contract really carefully. And don’t be afraid, I suppose you and your daughter could deal with the time management and choose what she needs and what to let go.

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Thank you for that insight, Katliamom. This is exactly how we hope it will work out and good to hear your hands-on experience. Thank you for sharing. And yes, we will definitely accompany her to all her shoots!

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Don’t forget about the practical side which may involve significant and costly travel from a remote location to a major city. How will such travel affect your daughter’s social & academic life during college ?

Might be better to consider some colleges and universities located in major urban areas if your daughter decides to do both at the same time.

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Not to derail the thread, but context is needed for post #69. I have no connection to any college on the list, btw.

@Publisher , there is an active thread about the list you mention. The list does not provide a balanced view at all. Some of the best colleges in the country with large endowments, very successful grads and involved alumni are on the list.

Here is a link to the thread: http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/college-search-selection/2160371-colleges-that-pay-off-the-least-p1.html

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Things to think about:

  1. Talk to your daughter about how good it felt that a modeling agency scouted her. But also tell her to think about how it will feel when she gets rejected for a job. How will she handle that? Who will she talk to?

  2. She needs to keep up her grades. What exactly does that mean? What is the threshold?

  3. What if shoots are during school time? How will she handle that?

4)If she is underage, will you be able to go with her on jobs? How will you make sure she is protected?

5)What will she do with the money? Will it go toward college?

  1. What does the contract say? What if she doesn’t like the actual job of modelling?
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Hi all, I thought I’d update this thread since you were all so helpful. My daughter and I have just got back from LA, where she did her first four test shoots.

So, after much thought, my partner and I decided to support our daughter in this endeavor. After she signed the contract and committed to coming to LA when her school thanksgiving break began, her agency set her up with four different photographers over four days each of whom did a different “test shoot”. These shoots are used in her portfolio, to show potential paying clients different “looks”. The photographers and stylists provide their services free, in exchange for being able to work with new models.

Each of the four shoots was very different, from a feminist, edgy female photographer to start, to a typical “glamor” shoot at the end. They were all in different parts of LA, and we got to see everywhere from Studio City to Venice beach and Silver Lake (both outdoor shoots) and the Flower district (very hairy!).

Well my daughter had an absolute ball. Three of the four photographers (two were female) were very nice, and giving her all sorts of advice about the industry and what kind of things to avoid. One photographer was a little sketchy though, and reinforced the reasons why she should be accompanied to every shoot. Even on that one though, she liked the “look” that they provided for her and enjoyed the whole experience (since mom was at the back of the room for moral and other support).

She has really come out of herself in the few short days we were there – grown so much in confidence that I really can’t quite believe it. Always an anxious “hide in the corner” kid, she stretched her legs out on the airport shuttle bus coming home, talked up a storm to all the photographers and asserted herself when she needed to. She said these four days were “the best time of her life” !

Now she’s home, she’s happily catching up on homework. :slight_smile:

So I know this is early days and this was just “test shoots” and so the fun part, where she is not competing for work. But at this stage my partner and I are so happy we let her embark on this new adventure. Her happiness and self confidence have been augmented beyond what we could have hoped for.

I’ll update more as things progress.

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