<p>OP,
It occurs to me that if I were in your father’s or mother’s position, I might tell my child to go on with his life. And I would actually mean it, because I am accustomed to sublimating my needs for his. But, really, it would be be a great comfort if he were to choose to be with us. I hope that I have progressed enough to recognize that fact and give voice to it, but I don’t know.</p>