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<p>This suggests you may end up having ‘complicated grief’ afterwards…which is all the more reason, for your own sake, to consider putting your life briefly on hold and spending time with your dad. Sometimes the toughest losses are ones with unresolved issues with our parents. </p>
<p>So while you may have been at odds with your dad, he’s still your dad. It may mean you may not want to have to sit there with him right now, you don’t feel close, or even necessarily a lot of loss yet, but it may be the necessary thing for you to do as you continue on with your life without him. </p>
<p>Even if you think he’s not able to hear you, you might find it very valuable to tell him some things that will bring you closure to your relationship, things that you won’t be able to tell him after he’s passed away. Maybe - just as examples- that you wish you hadn’t had conflict, that it would have been good had you been closer. That maybe you two fought because you were actually both stubborn. Or that you know now he just meant the best for you even though you were both different. Or maybe that you feel sorry you wasted time fighting, but that you still loved him and knew he loved you, or that its okay you didn’t get along because you still turned out to be a person he is proud of (or entirely different things…I’m obviously just projecting here some possibilities…but i’m sure you can think of some of your own). You might find if you feel strange saying things things now, it will be easier to write them and read them aloud to him. </p>
<p>So sorry if I’m going way off tangent…you weren’t asking for this kind of advice and it may be completely irrelevant and annoying to you. Maybe you already did this or can’t bring yourself to do this. But if you had a challenging relationship with your parent, and you have the blessing of some time before he goes, if its at all possible for you to spend time and heal things or close things before he goes if you haven’t already, I just wanted to mention it.</p>