Should we feel a little sympathy for Harvard students and their families?

I guess we should all take your family’s experience as definitive then. Ever thought not everyone in life moves in the same circles as your family?

I mentioned this because I’ve seen it first hand at a high school graduation ceremony. Really smart kid, received her certificate and the Principal announced she would be attending Haverford which prompted many oohs and arhs from the crowd and whispers of, ‘Harvard,’ which ultimately caused the Principal to reiterate the young lady would be attending Haverford.

Isn’t the fact Haverford is such a fantastic school kind of the point?

Anyway, Harvard people downplaying attending Harvard, I don’t feel they need any sympathy, knowing you go to the school of your choice is reward enough. Downplaying the fact that you attend Harvard is something I see as gracious. If you want to wear a shirt great, why not? If you don’t don’t.

That does suggest that the sometimes-made claim that applicants have to figure out how to explicitly match themselves to the specific super-selective college to get admitted may not be how most admits get admitted. More likely, many or most gave strong applications that (unknown to them beforehand) happened to be among the strongest in what the college was looking for that year.

Ah, but maybe the parents wouldn’t be so embarrassed saying their kid attended the flagship by name…of course…no prestige there…but then if they can’t say “Harvard” well…?‍♀️

@tdy123 Are you kidding? Princeton is actually very nice particularly when compared to New Haven, Providence and Cambridge. I think it’s the reason it’s so popular esp with access to NYC. (I’m not a NJ resident and don’t have any connection but can see the positive aspects of the location).
The whole anti-NJ diatribe you mention and which I have heard elsewhere showcases a type of geographical ignorance that I have seen repeated when people speak of the South or various places and lump everything into a standard bucket with a label.

The odd thing about the anti-NJ sentiment is that (at least on these forums) it comes mostly from NJ resident students who want to go to college anywhere but NJ (except maybe Princeton).

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The part of NJ right near NY is very densely populated and most people see NJ by driving along the NJ Turnpike. However, most of the state is actually rural (it is the Garden State). And there are lovely towns (think Millburn, Short Hills, Summit, Basking Ridge, … and Princeton and the towns nearby). Significant parts of the state are pretty empty. But, saying “I go to college in NJ” might be more of a tipoff than “I go to college in Boston.”

Back in the dark ages, I went to a wedding in Texas when I was in grad school. The bride was a UT alum and assigned one of her sorority sisters to me (a nerd who had learned some social skills). Charming, pretty and lots of social graces and manipulation that I probably didn’t quite understand but I was probably going to end up doing whatever she had in mind. Anyway, as I was leaving, she told me that she had slept with me because I went to Harvard. Notch on the belt of something like that. I never quite understood it, but it was a fun weekend. I probably wouldn’t have gotten the same reception if I said I went to school in Boston.

That’s a wedding to remember!

Is the couple that got married that weekend still married (alive)?

@saillakeerie, alive yes. Married no. Both great people and I introduced them.

@hebegebe, yup.

I think the implication was a Harvard student could say Boston, a Yale student could say New Haven but a Princeton student…

I feel sorry for both HYPMS graduates and based on the other thread, students who graduate with zero loans. The indignities endured by both groups are beyond description.

Haha, that too. It’s about maxing out the bumper stickers, right? I don’t know, new to the Subaru game. :wink:

Yeh we have to get our schadenfreude where ever we can find it. :smiley:

In my experience it’s not just Harvard, most parents with kids in top colleges avoid mentioning their kid’s colleges by name. Some to avoid envy and judgment and some to not make others feel judged.

Only 12 of the 45 plus presidents have earned Ivy undergrad degrees.

45 actually started at Fordham. 44 started at Occidental.

So that’s 10 really. If you back out the early years with little in terms of options it’s more pronounced.

Whittier eureka Texas tech and Georgia southwestern state just in our lifetimes.

Washington and Truman with no degree.

Don’t think bush 1 or 2 or jfk had to really fight for their spot either.

Warren was u Houston Biden is u Del and Bernie is u Chicago.

Doesn’t mean they are not the best. It’s just not accurate to say it’s required to reach such heights.

Downplaying that one attended Harvard is “gracious” is maybe the best line on this thread so far. I’d also like to thank any parent who has refrained from admitting his child goes to Harvard to save me from feelings of envy. But are you also not telling me because you worry I’ll feel you’re judging my “non elite” college kid or because that is what you’re actually doing? ?
The truth is that people really aren’t giving you folks that much thought.

I think the fact that there is this much discussion about it, and this much baggage attached to people’s varying reactions, explains why some people try to dodge the topic, however misguided that impulse may or may not be.

The only Harvard families I know who do the “going to school in Boston” thing are the strong legacy families. The families with kids who had great stats, but stats no better than the many thousands of students who are rejected every year. Of all of the groups of people in the world to have sympathy for, Ivy League legacy families are not on my list.

Closing old thread that should not have been revived.

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