My wife and I did not take out, nor have our children taken out, loans for college because we believed – then and now – that getting our kids out of school debt-free would be the best gift that we could give them, as far as college goes (think of it as a form of wealth transfer to the next generation). We used 529 funds and other family monies to pay for tuition/fees, books, and room/board; but any money for social activities would be on our children. We had them work during summers to earn money for whatever discretionary spending they wanted to make; and they both worked part-time (10 hours or less each week) after their respective first years at college for pocket money at school, as well.
I think that your desire to want your children to learn financial responsibility is a good and valuable thing to do. My wife and I decided that having our children earn their own spending money for their respective college years would teach them enough about finances and budgeting at this point. Certainly, your 11th-grader can be working over the summer and part-time next year to start earning money for a college spending account.