<p>I think one has to swing with the situation. Sometimes it is “to each according to needs” and sometimes it is equality. One of mine got a life threatening dx, and believe me, we all got neglected for the two years of intense treatment. Some of my kids do have special needs that take more time and attention. In some families that is the case for a lifetime. It’s not fair, but it does happen. Also time is an important factor. There are times when we just had more to give financially and attention wise. We gave the first child a lot more in terms of spending on education and extracurriculars because we had the money then and the prospects of more. We had some set backs and simply could not do the same with the others. The youngest now is enjoying some more privileges simply because it’s available. </p>
<p>I’ve felt fortunate in that my kids don’t seem to have any problem with the discrepancies. They want their baby brother to have more and give what they can to him. THey help each other out, and I haven’t heard a peep about unfairness except in terms of privileges when they desperately want something for which we don’t give permission.</p>
<p>Oh, and we made mistakes in some things that we gave and spent. Am certainly not going to repeat them just to provide equality.</p>