<p>My mom spent SO much time making sure everything was “fair” between my sister and me. Of course, we still didn’t think she was always fair! So I’ve always told my kids, “Life isn’t fair, so I never want to hear you complaining about it!” They learned early not to bring up the subject.</p>
<p>
^^^ Apologies to ucbalumnus for leaving such a loophole. (Are you a lawyer?) I did somewhat address the issue in my subsequent post, by saying that I’d spend the money allocated for a kid who chose a generous merit offer by helping with grad school or other expenses. We expected to spend a certain amount per kid for college, and while we weren’t going to spend more, we were perfectly willing to spend all of what we budgeted.</p>
<p>I am not one of those parents who makes sure that everyone has the same number of green jelly beans. All of our kids were strong students, ready to succeed in college, although one was more so. We weren’t going to tell the valedictorian to apply anywhere because she was number 1, and tell the others to set their sights on less expensive options because they were only in the top 10 percent of the class. None had their majors or future professions carved in stone at the age of 18, so the notion of spending more on a more financially secure major never occurred to us, either.</p>
<p>It’s hard to divide everything down the line and I don’t think it matters. My parents spent a lot of money on the oldest kids and zilch on the last 2 kids. Guess who ended up fair better in life, the last 2 kids. And the last 2 kids are not known to be the brainy kids either.</p>
<p><a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parent-cafe/796275-am-i-obligated-spend-equally-each-kids-college.html?highlight=fair+equal[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parent-cafe/796275-am-i-obligated-spend-equally-each-kids-college.html?highlight=fair+equal</a></p>
<p>Fair is not always equal and equal is not always fair. Each should have equal <em>opportunity</em> based on circumstances and individual needs.</p>