@bluedreams
Another random thoughts response.
- Don’t worry and it is not going to help. You are 20 and not even spent 20 or 25% of your lifetime. At this age where your energy, determination and the will to succeed is (and should be) at prime. Read few obituaries in WSJ or NY Times once in a while to see famous or successful people stories, what they have gone thru in life before they reached that stage. Nothing is red carpet and glossy in life or happened exactly as planned.
- Read head line news for a week. You will know how people are struggling even to survive whether in Asia or Middle East or Africa or America. You are in the best place on planet earth. In some countries once you reach 23, no longer you can study and become a doctor. US is a forging place, even after few gap years you can pursue MD.
In US, you are in the best state, Texas for medical profession. 90% of students have to be Tx residents for seats. All that you need to do is work hard and be resilient. - As others said, go to all the places wowm mentioned than the clean and fancy hospitals. That is where you will learn more (than doing admin / front desk work in hospitals) about the profession. Volunteering helps you to validate beyond dream if that is the right profession or not in addition to strengthen your application.
- For all you know, the more you volunteer in harsh places, you may get ideas to write for your PS. Try weekends if there is conflict during weekdays to volunteer.