Comments about mail forwarding on another post reminded me of a detail to sweat for folks planning long term visits elsewhere. The post office will only hold your mail for 30 days.
When neighbors were off helping parents, they had us go into their house to get mailbox key. We picked up the 30-day delivery. Then we picked up their mail every few days. (Probably they could have started another 30 day hold, but we were home and willing to help.).
These days we are not desperate for anything in snailmails since so much info and billpaying is available online. But we do have setup for informed delivery, so my husband can see (via daily email) what is arriving each dayā¦ in case a surprise item.
My sister in law recently bought a place in Sun City Palm Desert. They donāt plan on living there full time and actually just rented it out for 4 months to a snowbird couple for this winter. They like all the amenities but havenāt yet spent more than a week there yet.
I would love to travel around for a few years, but not feasible for me yet. H is still working (although from home) and we have a kid who boomeranged back and has some mental health struggles and also have a super high needs rescue dog (dog is on Prozac the needs are so high) and my elderly MIL is going to be needing more and more care. But yeah, the open road sounds fantastic. Iād do it in a heartbeat if there werenāt so many needs here and I could convince H.
A friend does Trusted Housesitters and has put together domestic and overseas trips. Seems like a cost-effective way to see some new places like a local.
Friends of friends have retired to Portugal. Itās supposed to be pretty easy for Americans or at least was a couple of years ago.
We would never retire to Florida. H worked there in his 20s and it was all I could do to get him to go back to take the kids to Universal when they were little. I think even mentioning retiring to Florida would get me a divorce in a hurry or heād have me committed. I would kinda like to drive down to Key West sometime, though, and I might be able to get him to go to New Orleans. I suspect we will just stay put here in NC when he retires. I donāt see us moving unless we were to move to another country.
Thanks so much for the additional thoughtful ideas and experiences. So helpful to hear from those whoāve gone through this decision-making stage, are in it, or know those who have traveled through (and their results).
Iām not sure why I am so against The Villages-type lifestyle for myself. We stayed there with my husbandās father/his wife for a few days years ago and again last spring. People are definitely having fun - lotsa activities!
I could not get out of there fast enough
My H is open to my ideas. We probably donāt have the budget (if I retire next year) for a second home - but after attending retirement seminars and reading a lot (including on CC!) I think we could achieve a few months āsomewhere elseā without the big, long-term
buy-in of a second home.
Commiserating with those whose spouses long for the planned 55+ lifestyle Iām hopeful H and I connecting via our shared values while we explore - bringing us closer to an adventure (with security) we both find rewarding ā¦ (fingers crossed, lol)
We are starting to think about retirement and hoping to sample different countries/settings by teleworking from various locations around the world in the next several years. We are far from retirement and with two more years of Ivy tuition for our youngest.
We are teleworking from Buenos Aires this November and trying to see the country later on. So far, so good, being two hours ahead of the Eastern Time and three hours ahead of Central Time in US leaves a bit of time in a.m. for exploration around the city. A lot of planning and research went into this āsamplingā of local way of life. I can already say we enjoy this type of āslow travellingā much more than traditional fast paced tourism or sightseeing during business trips we often share. Looking forward to our last two weeks here - hiking in Patagonia. Hoping to spend āslowā time in Mexico, Costa Rica, Portugal, Italy, New Zealand and Spain.
@RussianMom - would you care to share what kind of research youāve done on slow travel? Iāve watched a bunch of YouTube videos and read blogs but feel they might be a little falsely optimistic lol.
I have friends who relocated to San Miguel de Allende - some for a few months at a time and others for decades. And Costa Rica. And Italy. And other towns in Mexico like La Manzanilla. This often started as a cost effective winter avoidance strategy, but particularly in Mexico, where there are tons of expats, many people found great community. Several commented on how easy it was to find and make friends, particularly in contrast to areas where many people had lifelong ties.
I have a relative who did the RV thing for a year. He was super outgoing so had fun along the way.
I think about this as well and think you need to discern what you want from it. Is it test-driving permanent locations or more last hoorah adventure travel? Do you want to change locations with some frequency or stay put for a while? Weather? Community? Is a low cost of living the goal? The answers can point you to pretty different options.
I also relate to having a spouse who is not totally on the same page as you. It can be a tricky needle to thread, both emotionally and in finding solutions. Wishing you luck.
Also, be try to be realistic about medical care. If one if both if you have chronic medical conditions or need care, are you comfortable with potluck or what youāve researched to be available where you visit or may move to?
For us, this year has brought a lot of medical careāD had expensive and extensive double jaw surgery and H had cataract surgery in each eye, removal of cyst on his neck, and involved prostate cancer treatment. We are glad we had these where we knew excellent providers well and would not have been comfortable with trusting to whatever medical care we might be able to find.
Especially as we get older, medical care is an important consideration, especially as telehealth is increasingly iffy (due to legislation).
As I wrote before, I have been doing short term rentals for some time. Just a caution that in some parts of the country, the nice airbnbās are taken well in advance, like a year. So spontaneity isnāt possible.
My Medicare Advantage plan has told me they will cover me out of state for 12 months. I agree that health care is a big concern, maybe the biggest, next to proximity to kids.
I feel the same way when I visit my in-laws at their 55+ community in FL (not the Villages). I think itās the cookie-cutter nature of the community, identical houses, identical landscaping, no individual personality. Also the ābig brotherā of it all. A small group of people setting rules for everyone else and the tattling if rules arenāt followed. Also, thereās a surprising amount of drama that harkens back to middle & high school days.
My friendās mom has lived in The Villages for many years and has recently started to complain about the medical care in the area. She claims that itās almost impossible to be seen by a medical doctor - that she keeps getting routed to PAās and NPās. They actually brought her to their home in MD for the summer and got her in to see medical doctors there (sheās a heart attack survivor). Not sure if thatās true across the board there but I know her mom and sheās not one to be timid about asking for what she wants.
I agree that it does look like they have a lot of fun (or at least the ones on the younger side of the 55+ do). I have a college friend who has retired with her husband to a 55+ in Myrtle Beach and she gets tagged on social media doing a ton of activities in her community. Again, she is in a community where the houses all look the same.
Maybe if I could find one on the water (a real body of water, not the 10,000 ponds and lagoons in FL) and where the home sites were larger and not all the same.
I also agree about medical care, which is why I am hesitant to pursue living internationally (also donāt want to be far from my kids). Portugal keeps coming up in my feed as a good place for American retirement but other articles I see claim that finding housing in the popular cities there is very competitive.
@Jolynne_Smyth what is it about the Villages that appeals to your husband? Is he a golfer? Is there a sport he enjoys?
I think a place like the Villages does appeal to those who participate in a particular sport or activity, I know that as golfers, we enjoy leagues and playing with friends. My husband and I enjoy a winter sport but if you donāt, the lack of getting outside is hard!
Things my friends who snowbird complain about the most is the lack of medical care in Florida. I know that once they need more help as far as medical appointments and specialists, they seek that out here in our area, not Florida. That and traffic but then we complain about the summer traffic which isnāt actually that bad!
As a person who lives in a community with a HOA, the issues arenāt exclusively related to a 55+ community.
We are happy here in our midwestern community but the things I do probably mimic those who snowbird. Play golf, socialize and play mahjong. Iām basically an 80 year old woman right now
@deb922, my H sees it as a place to: 1) meet a community of people, 2) find support/places to engage in hobbies and activities (he doesnāt golf but is very into woodworking, building things, cars (building them), dogs). The Villages would offer support for that. But itās also not the only way to find connection - in todayās world of Meetup groups other web resourcesā¦
Found this interesting article during my research (yikes!)
Are you sure woodworking and car building - even inside oneās garage - would be OK with that HOA? They arenāt exactly low noise activities. Iād check carefully!
Bunsen - apparently the Villages has a big wood shop where people go to work on projects. My mother -in-lawās assisted living had a mini version of that tooā¦(nice idea, actually).
This week I met a friend for lunch in Boulder, and it happened to be one of our magical warm autumn sunny day. While sitting on a rooftop restauarant deck, I looked at the mountains thinking āthis is why I would have a hard time ever leaving Coloradoā. It has gotten pricey, and the thin air is probably not ideal for aging. But it has become our home. (Once in a while Dad asks if weāre coming back to NY now that we are retired. I say noā¦ but I do wish we were not so far away).
We have a second home about an hour from the ferry we take to the peninsula and we have a 5th wheel.
H and I love to travel, but our home will always be the PNW. Our families are here, our children are here. Great medical, no income tax, and we are in line with the politics of the state.
We just returned from 7 weeks in Europe. This weekend weāre going to plan out some of the camping for next year (reservations have to be done way in advance). Having a paid-for home allows us to travel to escape the gloom, while keeping a good base here.
A former colleague moved to a 55+ community nearby and loves it - the activities, sports, etc. are great for a single woman.
Friends of my SIL moved to a 55+ community in AZ. She still works, while he is retired. He likes it, sheās not too happy. They are there full-time, so summers are a misery & many leave by May for cooler places. Itās not a great political fit for them, either. I think they realize that they should have spent time there during different times of the year to make sure it was a good place.
I do know people who spent a couple of months in AirBnBs in various neighborhoods in the metro area when they moved here to be closer to their kids/grandkids. They didnāt want to move and find they hated the area. That seems like the best idea to me.
