I would find it very difficult if not impossible to “play along” with a place that is totally unappealing to me (and for more than one reason).
While your husband may find that Florida is NOT for him, he also may find it perfect. Nightmare! It’s possible that you too la find things you like but again, if it unappealing to a variety of reasons being convinced is unlikely
Exactly, @abasket. I’m having a very hard time playing along. Even though I am the one doing all the action/coordination! (so maybe it’s on me! 
). lol
Well, if you’re doing all the planning…maybe skew it so you visit all the worst and unpleasant places…. 
We’ll see! 
This conversation has turned very negative, prejudiced, with unresearched armchair claims. I doubt anyone will find a place he/she likes with a negative starting point like this. Here are some observations.
I know many people who play pickleball in several states. I only know one person who had an injury requiring surgery, and none who have gone to ER for PB injury. That one surgery case was not in a warm weather state and she was young 50s. I would never want to play pickleball but I just say no thank you when asked. There are 7 pickleball courts within walking distance. No need to bash someone else’s choice.
Doctors in my warm weather state seem to primarily prescribe rest, OTC pain med, sometimes PT for sports injuries. Same as in other states. Of course there are always surgeries going on but that seems to be a later resort or maybe for wear and tear reasons.
I know people in the warm weather who have Aussie shepherd dogs, various doodles, golden retrievers. They seem to do fine. Most people have small dogs because it is a traveling group of people and the smaller dogs travel better, due to size.
There is no doom of waiting type discussion/mindset going on in the warm weather area in which I live. There are lots of volunteering, physical activity, sports, swimming, kayaking, walking, seminars, book clubs, social events. There are many inspirational people living full interesting lives in their 80s. Living longer better. There is way more positivity than this board has.
Thank you, @lb5, for the perspective.I agree I have been venting a bit negatively here and don’t mean to to discount others’ choices - which are valid and worthy of respect. And agree, there are many kinds of people, all over the world, with differing interests. And pros/cons to any place.
My own mixed feelings about making my spouse happy vs my own proclivities might have driven my crabbiness lol. Some very good friends live in FL - they are super happy, active, and love it. Viva la difference 
I live in a warm weather state as well but it’s sadly a very high cost of living place as well. We don’t have as many retirement and 55+ communities as many other states. My folks were in one of the highest regarded CCRCs in the state but it’s not for H or me but my sister & BIL plan to become residents there.
It is definitely a lot of weighing in figuring out a place where both members of a couple will be happy and thrive. Good luck to all on this journey & thanks for sharing it with us.
May I suggest a July/August timeframe (worst case heat and humidity) for your FL fact finding trip?
I know this was said tongue in cheek, but it’s not so different from suggesting that kids considering Maine schools do a Jan/Feb visit. Unless you have another home in another climate, this WILL be part of the experience. (I can’t tell you how many people I know who have tried to retire in the New England coastal towns where they summer and are stunned by what the winter is like in the same place!)
I was being cute, but it was also a serious suggestion. We made sure our son (who liked our annual Cape Cod vacations visiting family as well as his summer Boston school tours), visit again in February.
Sidebar: We have a bit of a joke in our family that the local CU Boulder admissions office should do some data tracking on winter prospective freshman visits (non-Coloradans), compare the yield rate for those who happened to be there during a blizzard vs those who caught some of our awesome Colorado winter sunshine.
I second looking at places in Arizona. About 8 years back, I moved in with my mom after she had a stroke. It was at the Sun City Grand in Surprise AZ. I really liked the area, and as they say, it’s a dry heat unlike Florida humidity. They had every amenity, including things my dad really enjoyed such as a club for Engineers. They also have there own fire station in the community that was built as a result of the community outrage after my parents home burned to the ground due to the city’s fire department taking to long to get there and not able to find the street. That’s a long story, but the cause was a Bombardier golf cart battery charging.
My parents were looking at getting 2 condos, East and West coasts as they had children and grandchildren on both, but decided on AZ and was a very good fit for them.
I think visiting in the more difficult season is a great idea. FWIW we retired to a state known for cold winters and lots of snow. ( though contrary to what a lot of people think, it does not snow 9 months a year). We visited a few times during the winter, we actually put a contract on the house in December.
Someone I know retired to Florida after living many years in Chicago area. He and his wife lasted less than a year before moving back north. They could not take the heat/ humidity.
We visited San Diego for two months in January-February before making the decision to move here. It wasn’t summer/tropical weather, but good enough!
When my son was considering Miami Ohio (I still mourn the scholarship they offered him) and Indiana, I purposefully took him for a visit in the winter.
This is where my dad and his wife have lived for the past 22 years. He enjoys the baseball park, golf, and industrial-scale woodworking shop. They do have EVERY club and amenity you can think of. There is also a CCRC option in the community that they, unfortunately, did not opt in for. They just moved back into their house from a five-month stint in a lovely AL facility adjacent to the Grand, but that’s another story. 
It’s no secret that I detest travel, but it’s high on DH’s list of loves. Travel has been a major source of contention in our marriage. For his job, he traveled 100% of the time for 17 years and craved his weekends at home. Thus, we never vacationed anywhere, instead making our home a resort of sorts. This suited me just fine. Now we’re retired, and DH wants to re-visit those places he didn’t get to really explore while he was working (though I argue that nine months in Istanbul should have been enough).
But, I think I may have found a solution. A large part of my resistance to travel has been long flights (I hate flying) and huge amounts of money spent for two to three weeks living out of a suitcase with nothing to show for the drain. (I don’t value the “experience” and, please, don’t show me travel pics, my eyes will just glaze over. OK, so I’m a Scrooge.)
We currently split our year between AZ and ME, and I got to thinking that I look at the cabin as “travel.” It’s a long flight to a different climate/culture, and it enables us to day-trip around New England without living out of a suitcase. What if…?
What if we sold the AZ house, making ME our primary domicile, and invested that pile for the sole purpose of LIVING for several months each year in a different foreign location? No AirBnBs, just a short-term apartment lease through local real estate offices, like the corporate apartments DH used to live in. I’ve started doing the rental research, and this is definitely doable. So, now, we’d be living six to seven months in ME (yay!) and about five months wherever takes DH’s fancy. He’d get to travel, and I wouldn’t have to live out of a suitcase spending unnecessary money on restaurants/hotels/AirBnBs. We’d get immersion in a locale and perhaps find one that we’d want to make a permanent alternate. (We are not tied to the U.S. or needing to be near our son who, most likely, will be as mobile as we’ve been throughout our lives.)
There is no rush. We don’t plan to make any moves while our 90-year-old parents are still alive, so we have plenty of time to explore all the pluses and minuses of this scenario. DH is quite enthusiastic about this adventure and, for the first time in our marriage, we seem to have made some headway against our biggest obstacle.
This sounds so exciting - as long as you take us along to the ride!
Do you both “easily” give up the Arizona house/life??
In a NY minute for me, and AZ doesn’t hold a candle to Europe for DH. We moved to AZ to be close to an airport that never closes (Logan during The Big Dig was a nightmare for DH’s constant travel) and for the low cost of living that enabled us to fund the retirement we envisioned. I’ve always preferred New England, and DH has always had dreams of living abroad, so this could work for us.
That’s what DH and I have been planning in our heads for a while. We were tempted over the past 15 years or so with the idea of a second home but held off once we decided we’d rather have the flexibility of choosing new locations for longer stays each time we wanted to travel.
We are looking at 3-6 month stays once the kids are all out of college/grad school. And when the cats leave this mortal coil (or the grown kids actually take their pets to the new homes. Death more likely scenario).
We didn’t buy a second home because we like to travel to different places, especially a warmer climate in the winter. I love the idea of going to different places for a longer period of time each year.