<p>Thank goodness I must have the good gene variant because I never, ever experienced what BarnardMom did. Wow. Once I had stopped for 8 months and baby was born, that was it. Never again. Honestly, I was so relieved to have that monkey off my back,I wasn’t even tempted. I am truly thankful. Now, if I could just lose about 50 pounds.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>That’s the key. Allen Carr describes it as being a “happy ex-smoker”. Not using willpower to resist, but being genuinely thrilled with becoming an ex-smoker. </p>
<p>ID–yeah, that’s why I say categories–I do not ever have sugary drinks, ever. Almost no to dessert type things–I did have a cupcake at my D’s wedding last June! 
the simple carbs just cannot ever be a part of my life.</p>
<p>(not to derail thread.)</p>
<p>but this I think speaks to the differences in people’s metabolisms. Some people can eat those and have no craving for more; some people never have much urge to eat those kinds of things.</p>
<p>Just like some people can drink moderately and others cannot.</p>
<p>There is so much individual variation based on factors we only have incomplete knowledge of.</p>
<p>I’m bumping this thread up because I am 7 weeks, 2 days nicotine free and it is getting more challenging. I needed to resurrect this thread to help rejuvenate my motivation. I quit cold turkey when I had surgery and was hospitalized for 4 days. I planned in advance that I would use that forced smoke free time to just quit once and for all. </p>
<p>I had started noticing shortness of breath, wheezing, and regular coughing over the past year. My doctor said that quitting would help my Crohn’s disease a lot. The dentist said it would help my gum health to quit. About a month before surgery, I started using an e-cigarette/vaper alternating between that and cigarettes. The liquid in my ecig did have nicotine. I bought some liquid without nicotine before the surgery to use once I got home after the surgery. Before I left for the hospital I threw away all the liquid with nicotine, the remaining cigarettes in my pack and all my ashtrays. </p>
<p>When I first came home it wasn’t bad at all. I think the pain meds from the surgery helped keep me calm and I slept a whole lot. I rarely used the ecig. It’s becoming more challenging as I’m returning to my usual activities. The last few days have been the toughest so far. I have used the ecig a few times a day, still with no nicotine. It just gives me that drag, hold, exhale pattern that seems to help relax me. </p>
<p>My current boyfriend had gone to just the ecig before I had bought mine, today we were out and he lit a real cigarette. Ugh!!! He said they don’t taste good now that he’s used to the ecig. He offered me a puff to prove I wouldn’t like the taste now. I know from the past that one hit will send me right back and I recoiled when he offered and told him that one hit would send me back to being a regular smoker. I cannot have even one hit. I was mad that he offered it to me! Not supportive! </p>
<p>Anyway, I wanted to vent and talk through the rough spot to keep myself on track. I do feel health benefits already so I’m staying focused on that. </p>
<p>Barnard Mom: Good for you. I know how hard it is because my husband went through it and still is but I know everyone who knows and loves you will appreciate the effort and support you.</p>
<p>Which brings me to your boyfriend. I believe there are two reasons for his lack of support. First is he feels bad that he can’t quit so resents the fact that you can. Secondly he doesn’t want the reminder of his lack of backbone. My husband and his sister smoked for more than 40 years in spite of the fact that their mother died of lung cancer. My husband quit seven years ago and quit drinking at the same time. His sister actually tried to convince him to only quit drinking but not the smoking saying that doing both would be too hard. I felt that she couldn’t admit that he could do something she couldn’t so didn’t want to see him succeed. </p>
<p>Have you considered seeing a doctor about methods to control the anxiety? The nicotine addiction should be diminishing so temporarily controlling the anxiety should help. During my husband’s bad time of life (when the drinking became excessive) I also suffered anxiety and took medication for six months to get past it. We are both drug free now. No shame in needing help.</p>
<p>But good for you. Your kids will be so happy.</p>
<p>@2016BarnardMom </p>
<p>Good for you! One day at a time! Don’t let that BF get you off-track (maybe you need a new BF!!! lol…at least tell him to NEVER offer you a cigarette!)</p>
<p>H and I have never smoked, my parents never smoked, my siblings do not smoke, my friends have never smoked, so smoking wasn’t really much in my social circle. </p>
<p>But, I do have one sweet cousin who smoked for years. Her H died and she remarried 3 years ago…to a non-smoker. One agreement they had was that she would quit smoking. Oh my…she dreaded that. She lives and works in a Chicago suburb where a number of her co-workers smoke and it’s something they do on breaks…head out the door and chat and smoke. </p>
<p>So, she had to come up with some motivation. She decided to put $5 in a big jar every time she would have normally bought a pack and use the money towards a dream vacation. Her non-smoking H agreed to match her $5 contribution each time. Well, you can imagine, that jar started filling up quite quickly …and shockingly!!! Here she had long thought that her dream vaca would never be affordable, but by quitting smoking money started quickly being available to put towards the trip. After 2 years of doing this, she had a good chunk of money to put towards her dream trip and she went. :)</p>
<p>One of her comments along her “quitting journey” was…“wow, now that I’m not smoking I notice that my clothes really stink when I’ve been around other smokers.” </p>
<p>Frankly, I am always shocked to see how much money people spend on smoking. It especially saddens me to see lower-income folks addicted. They are the last people who should be burning $50+ a week on cigarettes!</p>
<p>I smoked for about 18 years, as high as 3 packs a day. Quit it on Oct 17th 1993. </p>
<p>I think those smoking days did a serious damage to my lung. While I am doing distance running up to full marathon length, I am always out of breath during the runs. </p>
<p>On the other hand, I made over $25K this year alone with my MO stock. Will depend on other smokers to fund part of my retirement. </p>
<p>Barnard Mom:</p>
<p>You are doing great! 7 weeks is awesome. Almost all of the heavy lifting is behind you, now (although I’m sure there are moments it doesn’t feel like that).</p>
<p>At one week, all of the nicotine was out of your body.</p>
<p>At one month, the dopamine receptors in the brain that cause the physical (and psychological addiction) had returned to normal sensitivity after years of being hijacked 24/7 by nicotine. </p>
<p>Now, you are left with just the learned smoking triggers. Those dopamine receptors deliver a reward (the dopamine release in your brain) every time you take a puff of a cigarette. So, they, over years and years and years, have trained you (like Pavlov’s dog) to associate the reward of the dopamine release with everything you did while smoking. So, for example, I always smoked with riding the lawn mower. After I quit, that trigger was still there, and a I reached for cigarettes I no longer smoked when I got on lawn mower. These “triggers” can are seasonal. For example, I always snuck out on the deck to smoke while cooking Thanksgiving dinner. So the first year cooking the turkey as an ex-smoker triggered smoking thoughts.</p>
<p>The funniest one, for me, was clothes shopping for the first time after quitting – months after I had stopped thinking about smoking on a routine basis. When I stepped out of the store, my hand literally reached to my shirt pocket for the cigarettes – like Dr. Strangelove. I just stopped and busted out laughing. For 30+ years I had always smoked (and gotten that dopamine reward) after being stuck in a store for an hour without smoking. I was completely trained.</p>
<p>The good news is that most of these triggers are wiped out the first time they happen and you don’t smoke. Some of the really ingrained ones may take multiple episodes. But, each time you experience one, you take a step forward. So, see them for what they are and embrace them as a positive step on the journey. Until you experience the learned trigger, you can’t get rid of it. Embrace them. No need to freak out and think they mean that this will be a never-ending struggle.</p>
<p>The bad news is that it usually means a full calendar year to get through the whole list of triggers. They are seasonal, so there’s the first Christmas of nicotine triggers, the first spring time triggers, the first trip to the beach without smoking and so on a so forth. But, each time you experience a trigger without smoking, it gets a little easier.</p>
<p>And, it does eventually go away. Really, after about the first year, I never think about smoking. I can’t even really remember wanting a cigarette. It will be the same way for you.</p>
<p><a href=“"I'll have to use willpower for the rest of my life not to smoke." - YouTube”>"I'll have to use willpower for the rest of my life not to smoke." - YouTube;
<p>You reacted perfectly to the offer of a cigarette from your boyfriend. Yes, one puff would have put you right back to square one, rekindling the brain chemistry that drives the addiction. The most basic truth about quitting smoking is so simple. You will be successful as long as you never take another puff. The corollary to that is that taking one puff is almost guaranteed to re-trigger the full addiction. It’s all or nothing. And, in fact, the best approach is not think about one puff or one cigarette, but instead think about everything that goes with it. For me, that mean not pondering one puff or one cigarette, but instead knowing that a decision to take one puff was a decision to smoke the 14,000 cigarettes a year I had been smoking. And, really, a decision to smoke 14,000 cigarettes a year, all day, every day, for the rest of my life until it killed me. If I blew a successful quit with a puff, who’s kidding who? I wasn’t going to quit again…</p>
<p><a href=“"I want one!" - YouTube”>"I want one!" - YouTube;
<p><a href=“"Maybe a puff isn't that big of a deal" - YouTube”>"Maybe a puff isn't that big of a deal" - YouTube;
<p><a href=“Lost long term quits - YouTube”>Lost long term quits - YouTube;
<p>The offer from your boyfriend is probably more loaded than it seems. He is a nicotine addict. As, I’m sure you know as a nicotine addict, it is threatening when one of your smoking enabler friends or family members or co-workers successfully quits. It’s miserable to be a smoker these days. There aren’t many left. And, having another fellow junkie escape the trap makes you feel subconsciously threatened, making it a little harder to be a nicotine junkie. So, sub-consciously, there is probably an element of trying to undermine your quit. Again, one of those things that’s a lot easier to deal with when see it for what it is. If the offers continue, here’s an awesome way to deal with it:</p>
<p><a href=“Offers for cigarettes - YouTube”>Offers for cigarettes - YouTube;
<p><a href=“Well meaning offers for cigarettes - YouTube”>Well meaning offers for cigarettes - YouTube;
<p><a href=“Finding cigarettes - YouTube”>Finding cigarettes - YouTube;
<p>My dad lectured on heart disease, etc., taught radiology, was part of studies that examined the links between smoking and black lung/white lung (plus stuff like inhaled wood and metal lung) … and he smoked until his heart decided to quit on him. Couldn’t stop though he knew so much better. Never lost the craving. I’d read films with him on Saturdays and he’d point out “this guy’s a smoker” and you could see the deposits in the lungs without knowing any history. </p>
<p>BTW, he strongly believed black/white lung, etc. had a deep, intimate connection to smoking as a causative factor. </p>
<p>The never take another puff thing was so valuable to me that, for several years after I quit, I had a ritual on each one month anniversary of quitting. Each month I re-read a forum thread recounting one-puff relapses – people who threw it all away after years of not smoking by thinking they could have “just one”.</p>
<p>I don’t think I can link to the thread, but if you do a google search for:</p>
<p>Freedom The One Puff Files</p>
<p>It will be the first item that pops up.</p>
<hr>
<p>BTW, the rules for that support forum are kind of interesting. You can read, but you can join to post until you have been nicotine free for 72 hours. Then, you only keep your posting privileges as long as you remain nicotine free. No second chance. Take a puff and you are done, period. One of the major flaws in smoking cessation is the notion that everyone relapses, no big deal. Just “try again”. The reality is that, having gone through the first awful week of quitting nicotine, you want to protect that quit with everything under the sun. It is a big deal to throw it away. There are no guarantees you’ll ever get back to one month or two months or two years or even two days of not smoking.</p>
<p>BarnardMom…GOOD FOR YOU!!! You’re way past the hardest point now. Never go back. Be strong, you can do this. You’ll feel so much better. Those were big red warning signs you mentioned.</p>
<p>P.S. It stinks and it causes awful wrinkles.</p>
<p>Congratulations BarnardMom ! I applaud anyone who has overcome this habit. I have never smoked since I have asthma , which I suspect that I have because of my mother smoking when she was pregnant with me. I am the only one of my siblings that have it, and the only one she smoked with. I am also the only one that never smoked.
My husband has never smoked either, nor had any of our kids.
I see ho hard it is to quit , and ho awful it must be to be in a place where you cannot smoke if you are addicted.
My step-daughter’s maternal grandmother has recently been diagnosed with terminal lung cancer ( a lifetime smoker ) Sadly, SD hasn’t been told yet because they made the decision to wait until her semester is over ….
This is one vice I can say I never had , although I do worry about the health of my lungs despite refraining from tobacco</p>
<p>I disagree with your theory interested dad, but I do agree that it is easier to quit all at once for many people.
I quit smoking cigarettes for all intents and purposes back when the cost was going to increase to $.65.
My H still smokes, but he has quit several times.
About 15 years ago, I was going through a highly anxious bit, and had several puffs over a week or so.
But it was frankly too disgusting to keep up.
H doesn’t buy cigarettes anymore, so perhaps he smokes one over a week.
The slow transition is apparently what he needs to do to start seeing himself as someone who doesn’t smoke.
When he quit drinking, it was all at once, but the cigarettes are a bigger part of his identity I guess.</p>
<p>Congratulations, BarnardMom! Good for you for putting BF in his place. He should be supportive and that is NOT support. </p>
<p>My mom smoked from the time she was 16ish. Finally quit when I was in high school. I have never been more proud of her. Your kid(s) will feel the same way 
</p>
<p>Good job kicking the habit, BarnardMom. Personally, I cannot tolerate cigarettes or smoke, and don’t care how much $$ the vile companies that push these cancer sticks on people can generate- I’d never buy tobacco stocks. Ever.</p>
<p>Thanks all I was in need of those words of encouragement. There are 3 triggers that are particularly difficult for me. The first is using my personal laptop. While in grad school, I spent a whole lot of time working on that laptop and pretty much chain smoking. There were actually times when I had a lit cigarette in the ashtray and would pick up another one and light it without realizing there was one lit already. That’s how much of a habit that was. I’m not sure how much of those cigarettes I even really smoked, but there was one lit a lot. It’s hard for me to be on the laptop, especially when I go to pay the bills or adjust the budget. I just get such bad cravings then. I keep forcing myself to do it anyway, but that’s a super trigger that has had me almost in tears at times. </p>
<p>Trigger 2 is driving and that is getting much easier. </p>
<p>The most difficult trigger is my “reward trigger”. As a smoker, after I accomplished something I didn’t particularly want to do (cooking dinner, doing dishes, putting away laundry, etc.) I would give myself 10 minutes to sit down, relax and “reward” myself with a cigarette. I miss having a reward at the end of a task. I can see that this is kind of silly. Why would grown ups need a reward for every little chore? But I’ve been giving myself one for a very long time. Now when I finish a task, there is nothing to look forward to at the end. That’s when I really miss them. It’s definitely the psychological addiction that is my biggest challenge. But yeah, I don’t want to start over again. </p>
<p>I don’t think there’s anything silly about rewarding yourself for every little thing. I’ve been through some tough times (haven’t we all), and had to push myself to get even little things done. I read somewhere “Be kind to your future self,” and it really did help me to put away the laundry, start dinner, not have that drink, etc. Future me really does appreciate my thoughtfulness, haha. A short 10 or 15 minute reward can really keep you going. I guess I can’t help you with what to substitute. Relaxation exercises? Something comforting, like tea? I read for 15 minutes in between chores. I set a timer and everything. </p>
<p>I quit smoking in my early 20s, for purely cosmetic reasons. I wanted to have a “cleaner” image. I couldn’t have been addicted, I don’t think, because it wasn’t that hard to quit and not look back. I had smoked for about 3 years, as much as a pack a day. I did find that in the beginning, when I was out at a bar with my friends, I didn’t know what to do with my hands, and I drank too many beers. I’m so glad that I did quit, and none of my family smokes now. I have nothing but sympathy for you, and it sounds like you are doing great. You’ve really come a long way.</p>
<p>I was fortunate in that I broke the "computer trigger a few years before I quit when my family laid down the law and made me go stand outside in the rain and snow to smoke!</p>
<p>Driving was a biggie for me. The real test was driving six hours solo to my daughter’s graduation, four months after I quit smoking. No problem. Even when I saw a pack of cigarettes lying on the ground in the parking lot of rest area on the Jersey Turnpike! That’s kind of when I knew the progress was real.</p>
<p>The “reward” trigger is real. The dopamine release is nature’s reward mechanism. It’s how humans get rewarded and learn to keep doing those behaviors. That’s the insidious nature of the nicotine addiction. It hijacks the brain sensors. Nothing can get thru to provide the dopamine reward except nicotine. So you are complete trained to need the nicotine to get he dopamine reward that a non-addict would get naturally from completing a task, or finishing a good meal, or whatever. That’s why nicotine addiction is so hard to kick. the actual physical withdrawal symptoms aren’t that bad and certainly not that long lasting.</p>
<p>Just hang in there. You are past the stage where the brain receptors are still desensitized. Now, it’s pretty much just the powerfully learned behaviors. Basically, ever day from here on out will get easier.</p>