<p>Buy a handgun. </p>
<p>For the shooting range!</p>
<p>But honestly… if I got in I’d be bawlin’ on the ground. I’d want no more Christmas gifts, no birthday parties or thanksgiving. No stockings on that tree, no birthday cake or tasty gravy. No. I’d be content. Forever. First thing I’d do, I’d run outside shout it to the world. Then, I’d kick box a bear. A black bear.</p>
<p>But if I don’t get in, I’ll accept my mediocrity and go to University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. Probably cry myself to sleep regretting my awful transcript.</p>