I personally think that it is all a double standard that is caused by sensationalist news and 24 hour news reporting that scares parents.
DH was a stoner who barely graduated HS. Yet he totally pressures our kids to stay motivated and organized. DH used to play out in the woods and streets without any supervision and then be called in for dinner, yet he didn’t let our kids walk to the park unsupervised. As a teen, I used to attend parties where the parents bought the alcohol and took the kids car keys. Nowdays, we can’t do this for fear of getting sued.
As for academics, I was a slacker kid in AP classes; I was the dumbest of the smart kids. DH was a slacker kid in the regular classes And we turned ok…probably top 2% of income on a national scale. Yet we keep the double standard of pushing our kids. If our kids slacked off, they probably would do just fine and with a lot less anxiety. Somehow, we just cannot stop. It’s always the faster this, the better that, etc.
DH would probably argue that we are trying to instill a work ethic in them. And if it wasn’t working hard at school, then it should be working hard at a paying job.