<p>Mansfield, This was my first Fathers Day without a father also. Mine died almost three months ago. For the first time I noticed all the posts on FB from people whose fathers had passed too. Not the best day. :(</p>
<p>Mansfield and kathiep, this was my kids’ first Father’s Day since their dad (my ex-dH) passed away the beginning of April. Lots of FB avoidance, and work on school projects for D2 as it’s finals time for 10th grade. Not the best day for us either…although I did make them pancakes and bacon for breakfast at least… Thinking of you both.</p>
<p>I lost my dad 20 years ago, and for H it’s been 45 years. But we still do Father’s Day here-H takes his role very seriously-D is his only child. After weeks of being committed to one thing or another every.single. day. we finally had NOTHING planned, so H decided we should go into downtown Seattle. We went to a black arts and history festival and met a Tuskegee Airman, who told us about a scholarship for D and signed a poster for us. Then we went to Pike Place Market, saw flying fish, touristy stuff, and had a great lunch.</p>
<p>Now we’re hanging around the house doing our own thing. Tomorrow is D’s 8th grade graduation and next Sunday is H’s birthday so we’re back to running around. Tomorrow H will call and set up the day for his BBQ class that we got him. Not a bad day all in all.</p>
<p>I too have lost my father and today was a little sad for me. But the children and I all made sure that my husband had a great day. We took a bike ride through the forrest after breakfast and then did a candlelit BBQ on the patio this evening. Very relaxing day.</p>
<p>Yesterday, my dad, my mom and her five siblings and their partners plus 10 other couples took a party bus throughout NYC and stopped to take pictures with the gorgeous backdrop of the city and at Times Square.
The pictures on FB are disturbing to say the least (there was a stripper pole in the bus. Aren’t I the one who should have embarrassing FB pics??!) but they had a great time and laughed the whole way. Party animals!</p>
<p>Today (or rather, yesterday) was my father’s 48th birthday as well as Father’s Day. My parents very last minute invited my mom’s siblings and a couple of family friends over for a BBQ that ended up lasting all day. My father received clothes, cards and an apron from me since he loves to BBQ, with the Mexican flag on it. (My older sister bought him American-flag swimming trunks. Funny coincidence. 
)</p>
<p>My two older sisters and I got my parents a trip to Cancun in August for FD/BDay, and also since my mother’s 44th birthday is in August. It was nice to see their reaction. :)</p>
<p>Honestly, having lost my Dad over 20 years ago, I always feel a sense of
“lack of need to do anything.”. After all, H is not my Dad. </p>
<p>But I do miss my Dad and I do realize my H is the father of my chidren.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Oh my friend, please find some IRL help.<br>
I have had really difficult times with my young adult kids. The pain you two are going through is going to lessen. I promise.</p>
<p>EK, I would have been mad at my husband, too, for not saying anything. Both of you should talk to someone about it and figure out the best way to handle your D. A therapist or clergy member could give you some advice. Sometimes I feel that spouses are so worried about maintaining their own relationship with a troubled child, that they will overlook their spouse.</p>
<p>Steak.</p>
<p>And pie.</p>
<p>My H lost his father ON FATHER’s DAY, 7 years ago. I lost my dad 11 years ago.</p>
<p>H wanted steak on the grill with baked potatoes, grilled peppers & onions, grilled veggies and that’s what he got! A real meat & potatoes kinda guy. He actually doesn’t get it too often since we’re trying to eat healthier!</p>
<p>S1 emailed and called from overseas, where he is spending the summer. S2 still in high school at home with us. All in all a quiet day, reading the Sunday paper…a nice enjoyable quiet Sunday.</p>
<p>My father wanted some fried chicken and some soda to enjoy with the rest of the immediate family.</p>
<p>Easy enough to fulfill even though the family usually don’t go for high caloric food or drink much soda in our homes…especially myself.</p>
<p>I called my father and did not hang up as he complained about my mother and ranted about the doctors who are responsible for him not being able to drive. It is hard for me to read people’s FB posts about how wonderful their dads are (or were). My father was never a nice person and I have no good memories of spending time with him; now that he is elderly he is reaping what he sowed. He has no real friends and spends his days alone; all I feel for him is pity.</p>
<p>My husband is a magnificent father and I am always happy to celebrate the day with him. We usually go canoeing on Father’s Day but this year we went a week early because the weather was so fine. Instead he took a long run and we worked in the yard. A friend invited us over for dinner last night; on Mother’s Day her daughter cooked for us. :)</p>
<p>DS2 and I made ourselves available for whatever DH wanted, which was a movie followed by his favorite dinner. At the movie, we indulged him and sat through the entire credits without complaining. For some reason, he loves to watch the entire credits. Every. Single. Word. Usually we get up and wait in the lobby. But we stayed with him this time, long after everyone else had left and the cleaning people started to come in - twice - and respectfully left.</p>
<p>DS1 called (without a reminder text from me), so the day was complete. :)</p>
<p>. For some reason, he loves to watch the entire credits. Every. Single. Word</p>
<p>My H does this too.
I think he is waiting for a blooper reel.</p>
<p>Went to a fabulous wedding for a friend’s daughter. Can’t imagine a better Father’s Day for the father of the bride and the father of the groom. :)</p>
<p>Climbed a mountain.</p>
<p>Coffee in the patio with Wifely in the AM . . chores around the house . . . went to F-I-L’s house to help do his Father’s Day celebreash . . . got a visit from our still-in-college D2 whose band passed through Boston on its summer tour . . . played some music myself . . missed D1 who passed away last year . . took a nap . . . then power-watched “Family Tree” with Chris O’Dowd on HBO.</p>