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<p>I would add it also helps kids and parents understand that the country is not homogenous in its perceptions regarding higher education. </p>
<p>Hey, I say my D goes to college in Boston, and she <em>doesn’t</em> go to Harvard! And when I say that, no one really follows up with “oh, where?”, which tells me I was right - it was just small talk and the “askers” really didn’t care all that much in the first place. </p>
<p>“In the NE, the home of the Ivies and many highly ranked LACs, people seem to be more conscious of prestige. In the South, you’re a strange bird if you choose anything other than your state’s schools. And even crazier if don’t you go to a school in the SEC or ACC! The Midwest appears to share a similar attitude to the South, perhaps more regional and not quite as state based? I’m not sure about the West Coast.”</p>
<p>It was a major culture shock for me to move from the East Coast where “state school” = where the average kids went, to the Midwest where the state schools are generally very well regarded. I think the CC’ers in the Northeast truly don’t always understand that out here, a valedictorian / straight A student might very well decide upfront to go to a Big 10 state flagship and no one would blink twice or think that it’s some kind of a comedown from where he “oughta” be. But the thing is - they’re right. There are extremely few jobs / places out here where you couldn’t get there from UIUC, Michigan, Wisconsin, etc. The upshot of going to elite schools isn’t as big. And I say that as someone who adores elite schools, myself. </p>
<p>@Pizzagirl and her school is no more in Boston than Harvard is. ;)</p>
<p>I think that’s hilarious about Harvard. My sister went to MIT in the early 70s and we didn’t think Harvard was all that much. In my family, all the oohs and aahs are reserved for MIT, CalTech, Harvey Mudd, Olin, and maybe Sanford. Those other schools are just “humanities” (said with the appropriate sneer), if you know what I mean!</p>
<p>Does anyone else avoid asking the question “where is your kid going to college?” There’s always the chance that they’re not going to college yet, or at all, or whatever. I ask “what are her plans for after she graduates?” or even “does she know what she’s going to do after she graduates?”</p>
<p>I know several kids who went away to college and then came back home during their first semester because they couldn’t handle being away from home. Some of them ended up at a local CC, some have jobs, one has been struggling with severe depression and his parents have a hard time even getting him to leave the house. It’s not a given that every college-age kid is actually in college.</p>
<p>The thing about Carnegie Mellon is that you never know how people are going to react. I live in CT and the responses are very mixed. It ranges from “I’ve never heard of it”/“That’s a funny name” to “Wow you must be really smart!”/“That’s amazing!” Some people just LOVE Carnegie Mellon up here and some have no idea what it is. </p>
<p>I’ve also noticed an interesting phenomenon where, since CMU is known as a theater/art school as well as science/engineering (what I’m doing), a lot of the artsy old people in my area assume I’m going for theater and use the college discussion as a way to try and convince me to study art there. It’s a very interesting school to tell people about.</p>
<p>I don’t even assume graduation. I just ask “Does she know what she’s doing next year yet?” It provides for a plethora of possible answers.</p>
<p>As to the Boston/Cambridge thing, no one says “I went to school in Cambridge” because it sounds like false modesty. The assumption is that the person is using code for “I went to Harvard or MIT” (both highly brag-worthy schools). Poor Leslie University, a fine Cambridge school, gets no respect!</p>
<p>Isn’t there a saying something like: “If a man was born in Texas or went to Harvard, you’ll hear about it in the first 10 minutes of conversation with him.”? 
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<p>@Sue22 - I had recently started to research Lesley U. It seems great. Financial problems?</p>
<p>If they are in education, it is not surprising that a neighbor might not have heard of your student’s school, unless you are sending them to a large state school or a school with a great sports program. I would use this as an opportunity to educate them about the school. Where is it? What are its strengths that caused you to send your child there? I’m sure the school would appreciate the word-of-mouth marketing.</p>
<p>@dustypig - You asked: Does anyone else avoid asking the question “where is your kid going to college?” There’s always the chance that they’re not going to college yet, or at all, or whatever. I ask “what are her plans for after she graduates?” or even “does she know what she’s going to do after she graduates?”</p>
<p>I’ve learned that asking this one question covers almost every situation in life: “What are you (or your child, mate, etc.) involved in these days?” A friend taught me that. 
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<p>This is a great thread. I’ve always been someone who enjoys learning about and visiting schools, and thought I knew all the “top” ones. Here’s the reality though: most people have never heard of any LACs. The exceptions are the military academies (if those even qualify), a few of the traditional 7 sisters (Barnard, Vassar, maybe Wellesley), and perhaps just a handful more (Williams? Swarthmore?). When my D – now Davidson class of 2018 – first looked at the school, I knew it only as the place where Steph Curry played basketball.</p>
<p>Find myself suppressing the urge to constantly say “well she got into [leading state university where her mother and I went] but decided to go to Davidson” and hiding my pleasure when someone does know her chosen school’s reputation. Funny how we as parents are affected by these things…</p>
<p>DavidSonDaughter, I’m pretty savvy and “into” colleges and I still hadn’t heard of Davidson til my niece went there. But, all that means is that my information wasn’t complete. My D goes to Wellesley and trust me, the average man on the street hasn’t heard of it, even with the Hillary Clinton connection.</p>
<p>@dyiu13 – yes, that’s an even better way to go!</p>
<p>I went to University of Chicago (30 years go), and even though my hometown was in the Chicago suburbs, when I told people where I’d been admitted the reaction I most often got was “oh, why not the Urbana/Champaign campus?” I had to explain that no, this wasn’t U of Illinois-Chicago campus (back then it was called the Circle campus). </p>
<p>Now, my D1 is thinking about applying to Scripps, and although we live in the Bay Area, there have been a couple of people who immediately think of the Scripps Institute of Oceanography at UCSD and start talking to me about La Jolla and marine biology.</p>
<p>Dusty pig - I am in the Chicago area and frankly I still think the vast majority of people here haven’t a clue about the U of Chicago unless they have a personal connection. It just isn’t visible to the average man on the street. I see far more awareness of U of Chicago on CC than I see in real life. </p>
<p>I was aware of U Chicago 40 years ago as a teen in small town Illinois. I REALLY am a nerd :)</p>
<p>I was aware of the University of Chicago 40 years ago as a teen hundreds of miles and several states from Chicago because of Saul Bellow (who didn’t actually have any formal connection with it), Philip Roth, Kurt Vonnegut, Milton Friedman, Allan Bloom, and Leo Strauss. Also, they offered me a scholarship. I had the impression it was a great university but an unpleasant place to be an undergraduate student, which in retrospect seems accurate. I had no idea what it looked like until about 15 years ago, when my wife went to a conference there and came back raving about how beautiful it was. I had assumed it looked like BU or something. My parents had the same problem when my kids wound up going there – they recognized it as a great university, but essentially assumed it was ugly, and were fairly shocked to find that wasn’t the case.</p>
<p>Where we live, a lot of people join the military and so going to college isn’t a given. I tend to ask, “Does your son or daughter have plans for after graduation yet?” and frankly, I’m as impressed by my son’s friend who is joining the Marines as I am by the guys going to Ivy League schools. Frankly, I don’t know which one would be harder.</p>
<p>It’s funny to remember the awkward comments I got when folks heard my choice to forgo our well-regarded flagship and head east. More than one person went as far to say “you can you get the same education for less money at good old State U.” Well, no disrespect to State U and it’s loyal legions but the mega-campus was only a few miles from home and I was determined to see the world AND get educated.</p>
<p>The one person who did get annoyed by the question was mother, specifically when the questioner would confuse the hallowed halls of my alma mater with similarly named schools from podunk. “They did that on purpose,” mom would rant. LOL.</p>
<p>“I had the impression it was a great university but an unpleasant place to be an undergraduate student, which in retrospect seems accurate.”</p>
<p>I’ve had about half a dozen U of Chicago grads (by which I mean undergrad) of roughly my age range (late forties / early fifties) who have worked either for me or closely with me in the business world and none of them seem to report feeling any kind of “closeness” for the institution. Not a lot of socialization, etc. (though it’s a little hard to tell the chicken from the egg here) It seems that it’s upped its game tremendously in terms of making it a nicer place for students. </p>