<p>Well, I guess I should mention another issue at play here. Believe it or not, it’s not too closely correlated to my social anxiety, but being a transsexual is complicating things even more. I pass somewhat, but I don’t know how I’m going to explain why I have a single at a public school where most freshmen are in forced triples. An extra six months would allow time for me to begin hormone therapy, and I can’t deny that I’m nervous about the possibility of discovery while I’m under scrutiny at college. It definitely puts me on edge even more, and I feel like an outsider, as if there’s some unwritten code I haven’t been granted the privelege to read. While it isn’t the cause of my social anxiety, at this point it furthers it to the point where it begins to feel like my once unreasonable fear of interaction might not be so unjustified. Thanks again everyone, I really appreciate all your advice!</p>
<p>“I’m not used to being the loner–I had many friends all throughout high school who viewed my paranoia and social inabilities as quirks, rather than faults.”</p>
<p>Oh Upennite…you will find a friend again that will appreciate you for all of your social inabilities and possibly find them endearing! </p>
<p>I was a shy kid…which most people wouldn’t believe. I think sometimes the activities of orientation…which are designed to get people to know each other can be too much for some. I remember meeting a friend in my freshman year and we laughed so hard at both disliking the forced mingling, frisbee, Pepsi generation stuff…You’ll find your place in the world…especially after classes begin and you become immersed in your schoolwork.</p>
<p>I hope things get better!!</p>
<p>there’s a simple cure to not eating lunch alone; go sit at a lunch table with people and introduce yourself :). Lol, worked for me and I’m a pretty shy person.</p>
<p>But seriously, there are some very nice and mature people in college who will want to get to know you regardless of your social phobia, so just try to relax and go into college excited :).</p>
<p>“n extra six months would allow time for me to begin hormone therapy, and I can’t deny that I’m nervous about the possibility of discovery while I’m under scrutiny at college.”</p>
<p>Could be a reason to take a full gap year. Why not talk to a therapist who has worked with LBGTQ people? </p>
<p>What I’m wondering about is how the hormones may affect you. Seems that my trans friends have told me that they experienced mood swings while transitioning that were similar to what adolescents experience when going through puberty. That could make college adjustment even harder than it would be if you had “just” the regular concerns of adjusting.</p>
<p>The counseling center may be able to help you as I imagine that the therapists there would be very sophisticate about a variety of issues since Philly is one of the best places in the country for finding good therapists, and also has a sizeable LBGTQ population.</p>
<p>Honestly, try to find some really really loud, obnoxious, talkative person, and just try to meet them. That way they will do 90% of the talking and you can gain some confidence in socializing. Eccentric people can help.</p>
<p>^ Take this advice. It always works because people like that love the quiet ones who mostly listen. Instead of loud and obnoxious, find a spontaneous and energetic person so you won’t get annoyed. </p>
<p>For some reason, charming people always have time for everyone and people love to gravitate towards them for a reason, so look out for someone like that, and although you may not become close friends with them because of their busy social life, it is still good practice for you.</p>
<p>Yes, eccentric people are more accepting than others in general, so that can help too. </p>
<p>Also, do not let anyone pressure you into doing anything you don’t want to do. Please remember that when you’re making friendships.</p>
<p>Thanks for all your help, everyone! I really appreciate it. Right now, I’m trying to make a last minute decision: whether to go to the large state school I would be attending (not penn–this is an old account) and face the social and transgender issues on my own, or to live at home and commute to a closer state school, which is smaller and less prestigious, but would accordingly give me a better GPA, which would be important because I intend to try transferring to other schools. The closer school would be more of a financial obligation, although it wouldn’t be that expensive–it’s just that because this is last minute, I’m not eligible for any scholarships there, while I did get one at the larger far away state school, and we would also have to purchase a used car so I could travel. There also are issues with my major–I am a business major, and the state school I intended to attend had a pretty good business school, whereas the school to which I would commute has none. Would that be an issue, if I’d just be taking introductory courses (econ, business management, etc) anyway? I guess I’m just asking for anyone’s input, and thanks again!</p>
<p>I agree with hyakku. Memorize a few questions to ask people you just meet. First, introduce yourself. Then ask questions along the lines of: What classes are you taking? How was your summer? Where are you from?</p>
<p>Try to comment on the person’s response. If the person says he/she traveled over the summer, ask where to and how the trip was. Ask about specific sites or cities he/she visited. Mention how much you want to visit the location as well. Maybe he/she is in one of your classes, or is taking something you want to take next semester. Usually the conversation starts picking up on its own after the first few awkward moments. With a smile, end the conversation before you both run out of things to talk about. Stop and chat briefly the next time you run into said person.</p>
<p>Finding common ground is a good way to start building friendships. Even just complaining about classes or dining hall food is helpful.</p>
<p>You should tried talking to the school psychologist or psychiatrist? I’m not sure what your school offers but at UF we have a mental health center that has free services for students. At least if you talk to a professional, you can get a official diagnosis and then recommendation for meds (lexapro, paxil, wellbutrin, propranolol, etc) and/or therapy (CBT, group meetings, 1/1).</p>
<p>Some recommendation: start off slow with maybe talking to your roommate, find a club/group that interest you, and just slowly progress as you comfort level increases.</p>