I’m in the camp of “I know it when I see it” when it comes to posts that verge on gloating versus posts that are just happy. (And oh…have I rolled my eyes at the gloats.)
On the parent’s forum here (where I spend 99% of the time) I love seeing the virtual high fives and congratulations as we “know” each other and the various challenges we’ve all gone through as parents, and with with our kids during this college process. But we’re all anonymous, and we’re all here to talk about colleges - that’s different than real life. We have a social agreement here that this is what we do, and we celebrate the acceptances with each other and empathize with the hard times.
I also find the wrap up style lists at the end of the year here to be helpful; the ones that record all the applications, and the accepted, rejected, deferred, wait listed results…as well as breakdowns in aid. This is all instructive for this self selecting audience.
I would roll my eyes though if a parent at our school posted a list on social media with every school that their kid was accepted to and their scholarship amounts for each school. Here we’re anonymous, on a college forum for parents - right time, right place.
In real life I adjust what and how I talk about the college application process according to who I’m talking to; I’m sensitive to kids who struggle with their grades, or those who are amazing kids but can’t crack the SAT. I don’t boast of my kids score to them - sheesh. Similarly, it would be in poor taste to me to go on about how we’re chasing merit aid with a family whose kid has a 2.5 GPA. “Read the room,” right?
And that’s what I try to teach my kid as well, in all situations: read the room.
In any event - I appreciate this parent’s forum deeply, it’s been a lifeline over this past year. Thanks, all. 