<p>I skipped my graduation after attending dh’s from the same college the previous year. As I struggled though a nightmare traffic jam, climbed and climbed endless stairs in the indoor stadium, struggled to hear the speakers and then struggled to stay awake through what they said, I realized - “my dad can’t come to this next year - the stress would kill him.” So my parents knew a year in advance that there’d be no graduation ceremony. They were a little disappointed at first but appreciative once they heard stories from my husband’s family about how poorly planned the ceremony was, and how meaningless. It wasn’t even a very large college, but only the grad students were presented with their diplomas on stage while everyone else stood with others in their major to be recognized. “Biology majors, please stand … chemistry majors, please stand …” I couldn’t even see my husband.</p>
<p>My kids have wanted to attend their ceremonies and we’ve had some great family times going. Their graduating classes have been mid-sized - 1400 or so. One school actually had every BA/BS recipient named, walk the stage, and receive the diploma from the president. For that one, I was glad we’d arrived early enough to claim seats in the section with actual chairs, not bleachers. Long!</p>
<p>If the grad doesn’t want to go and the parents do, I think the parents should prevail if they’ve provided the means to attend. But they should know ahead of time how personalized the ceremony is, in case they’re envisioning the college pres taking a few extra seconds while shaking their kid’s hand. And the kid’s reason for not wanting to attend might be a good one.</p>