<p>I never liked my engagement ring - the diamond was a very small one that came out of a stick pin that dh’s Mom had. (I liked its family connection, but it fell out of the setting and its replacement did too, at which point I just stopped wearing the ring.) My Mom gave me her jewelry box recently and I found a ring in it that looks much better with my wedding band, so I’ve been wearing that instead. (It’s an opal.)</p>
<p>Antiques or “resale” are always available. I assisted my son in his search for an engagement ring. Prices vary…a lot. “new” diamonds vary a lot in cost and in pc ness. Mr. Ellebud and I went with him to pick out the ring. We provided moral support. He did ask about blood diamonds. Since we have a good relationship with this jeweler he was very upfront. There is no way to tell where stones came from. Son chose a gorgeous simple ring, antique.</p>
<p>It’s interestingthat people focus only on diamonds. If they want ‘clean’ jewelry, they also need to abstain from platinum. Did you know that 85+% of global platinum supply comes from South Africa and Russia? Another 8% from Zimbabwe. North America accounts for c6%. </p>
<p>Most mines are underground and are tough working condition. It’s also a fairly dirty extraction process from an environmental perspective, as you need to move and crush many tons of rock to extract a small amount of ore that needs to be further refined to the pure metal. </p>
<p>Gold is not much better, however 15% of global supply is found in North America, another 18% in South America and a fair amount is open pit. Better working condition, but not a pretty site. </p>
<p>I covered this industry and other natural resource industries for decades and am amazed that most people know very little about where things come from , yet they are quick to jump on a bandwagon to boycott a product because of the production process. </p>
<p>Ps - 60% of global platinum production is used in automotive industry, primarily catalytic converters. So if one is very committed, they will stop driving a car or utilizing any form of transportation. </p>
<p>I don’t think one can really know if diamonds are clean–if it’s really an issue with son’s gf, they could look at semi-precious stone. There are some really beautiful ones like tanzanite,tourmaline, or peridot. But I guess he should check on those mining practices too.</p>
<p>My son had a similar feeling about diamonds. He was a history major in college and learned about the ‘blood diamonds’ while studying African history. So, when the time came for engagement ring shopping, he opted for a lab-made diamond. GF was happy with the ring (althought I never did ask if she shared his feelings about diamonds).
And what really matters is that they are still happily married. :)</p>
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<p>Sure there is… if you are born in April 
Makes it very convenient.</p>
<p>“Ps - 60% of global platinum production is used in automotive industry, primarily catalytic converters. So if one is very committed, they will stop driving a car or utilizing any form of transportation.”</p>
<p>They might as well avoid synthetic materials and pharmaceuticals since Pt catalysts may be used in some chemical manufacturing processes. </p>
<p>BTW, Pt jewelry is recommended for people with Ni sensitivity:</p>
<p><a href=“The 5 C's of White Gold vs. Platinum | HuffPost Life”>http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/3351028</a></p>
<p>“If the bride-to-be has an allergy to nickel, then platinum is the way to go. Nickel is often one of the white metals alloyed with yellow gold to produce white gold. Platinum, on the other hand, is purer and is considered hypoallergenic. (It may be possible, however, to find nickel-free white gold. Check with your jeweler.)”</p>
<p>I have not taken my Pt stud earrings out in a year, and I do not even feel their presence. Prior to getting these as a birthday gift from Mr B, I had yellow gold studs that irritated the heck out of my ears (had to remove them every 3 days or so overnight, which is a hassle).</p>
<p>Wasn’t one of the most famous engagement rings, Lady Di’s, a Blue Sapphire? Though we all know how that turned out!</p>
<p>Do you have any, excuse the bad pun, family jewels? My future DIL and my S didnt want a “blood diamond” either. So, I gave him the stone and 2 additional pear shaped smaller stones from a necklace my late dad had made for my late mom, with what we (and my dad) thought was his mothers stone hanging in the middle. turns out, according to the jeweler, the center stone was probably his grandmother’s stone, cut in round 1850. So, if someone died for that stone, they died a long time ago. All kidding (badly, sorry) aside, its a family stone and we were thrilled and honored to have him use these 3 stones for the ring. And the remainder of the necklace looks fine without these stones. </p>
<p>I love opals too, but beware, they are very fragile. I have a beautiful opal necklace. I lost one of the stones out of it and my jeweler sent it back to the manufacturer to have it matched up. I am afraid to wear it because I was told that they were having difficulty finding matching stones. Plus, a lot of what is out there with opals are doublets and triplets, meaning their is a layer of opal with man made materials on top and underneath the stone.</p>
<p>I’m another person who has never had an engagement ring. Not a jewelry person and, personally, the feminist in me has never liked a lot of the symbolism of engagement rings. In addition to the blood diamond issue, the value of diamonds is a trumped up, artificial scarcity and the importance of engagement rings is a relatively modern phenomenon created by marketing. In the case of the OP, I would either consider other stones or forgo an engagement ring entirely. If it was my son, I’d have him take the girlfriend’s lead on the issue and what is important to her. </p>
<p>I’m with rhandco on the "what kind of ring is she getting him?"question.</p>
<p>why is only the woman expected to wear a symbol showing that she is “taken”, and/or why shouldn’t both members of the couple give each other a symbol of their commitment to each other?</p>
<p>This bit that a man should spend 5 months salary or whatever on a ridiculously expensive diamond is ridiculous, and it is surprising that so many have bought into this marketing scheme. Especially in this economic climate, with all the stories about how young people can’t afford to buy a house, are saddled with debt, etc.</p>
<p>Loved the book The Engagements by J Courtney Sullivan.</p>
<p>Also, I hope there really is a trend away from the huge gaudy showpieces that seemed to be taking over for a while. Some of those rings are just crazy. I wear my ring pretty much all the time except when kneading dough, but some of those glitter bombs you can’t wear with gloves.</p>
<p>DD never wars jewelry except for simple stud earrings. She has a drawer full of stuff she has been given but never wears. I’ll know “he’s the one” when she finds someone whose ring she will agree to wear. </p>
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Unlike what De Beers would like u to think, ** diamonds are NOT forever… **</p>
<p>Don’t confuse hardness w indestructibility. Diamonds are hard, but they are still quite brittle. They will crack/shatter under a hard blow. </p>
<p>An analogy:<br>
Glass is harder than a lego brick, meaning you can scratch lego plastic w a piece of glass, but lego plastic won’t scratch glass. But drop a lego brick and a glass brick from over your head and see what happens.</p>
<p>If u whack your diamond ring hard enough on a kitchen countertop, it will crack. Just try it, and you’ll see.</p>
<p>I’m w momcat & rhandco. People who have bought into the scheme that a man has to spend Xmonths salary on a diamond, are marketing victims.</p>
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What? I can’t imagine anyone being rude enough to ask, and if the future DIL is so insecure that she’ll feel the need to explain her diamond to everyone who sees it, then there’s lots more to worry about in this match than a ring! I say let her do the research and pick out a ring that makes her happy philosophically and aesthetically. She’s the one who’ll be wearing it, and after 6 plus years and lots of talk about marriage, the opportunity for a surprise proposal with ring in hand is long past. I picked out my own ring, though I did let my future father-in-law talk me into a platinum setting when I was a yellow gold kind of gal. (Finally had it re-set the way I wanted it about 15 years into the marriage when I developed enough cojones to do so.)</p>
<p>For some of us, even diehard feminists like me, diamonds are beautiful, and a diamond engagement ring is a lovely tradition and a neat thing to hand down to the next generation. There’s no reason to imbue it with unnecessary symbolism of ownership and marketing and whatever. If you want one, enjoy. If you don’t, skip it.</p>
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<p>Great, now they gotta start making the rings out of palladium and rhodium instead? </p>
<p>DS#1 used to say his HS ring was made out of cheapskate-ium.</p>
<p>“I’m w momcat & rhandco. People who have bought into the scheme that a man has to spend Xmonths salary on a diamond, are marketing victims.”</p>
<p>Yup. Me too. A ring should not bankrupt the giver. After all, it is their future family money they are spending! We waited 25+ years, and then Mr B spent 1 week of his salary to get me my simple platinum band with several smallish diamonds (we think Costco did not lie that they were diamonds)?? It is very functional - I can put rubber gloves and work without taking it off. Mr jokes that I should be careful if I decide to do a hydrogenation. </p>
<p>BTW, in addition to being brittle, diamonds burn. </p>
<p>D1 is not going to get engaged until her BF can afford a diamond ring of certain size. As her mother, I also think there needs to be a proper ring before the engagement. I also happen to love diamond because it is my birth stone.</p>