<p>Wow, please do not tell DH. When our last left for college he worked with a local jeweler and designed a necklace. It has two doves flying out of a nest. The nest contains two ‘eggs’. The eggs are garnets, our childrens birthstone. It is now the most treasured piece I own. DH used to gold dredge as a hobby. For our 15th anniversary he had two smaller nuggets made into earrings. I love them. Random folks comment on both pieces.</p>
<p>And, he picked out pendant at Mervyns (remember them?). It is a dark round stone in a marcasite setting. Without exaggeration, each and every time I wear that piece I get stopped and asked if it is an heirloom. H and I laugh because it cost about $50.00.</p>
<p>One of my bracelets looks like a Tiffany item. It’s been admired and commented on by ‘those that know’ about these things. It’s kind of funny when I tell them I got it on Overstock.</p>
<p>This reminds me a bit of the ‘two buck Chuck’ experiment. Wines were placed in either unlabeled or mislabeled bottles. Two buck Chuck won out over a number of really expensive and ‘awe’ inspiring products.</p>
<p>When we closed a particular property purchase the loan agent sent Tiffany candle holders as a gift. They look rather … um…underwhelming…sitting next to the crystal ones I recently got at Costco.</p>
<p>I’ve had two used treadmills…both got the same amount of use as a carefully researched new one. And they both made awesome clothes racks!</p>
<p>My DD was asked tonight about diamond sizes. She said one carat would be fine. I am here to tell you…she has NO IDEA what a one carat diamond looks like, or a two carat or a three carat. It made me chuckle!</p>
<p>Honestly, I had no strong feelings about an engagement ring, but H wanted a nice diamond solitaire, like the ones his friends had given their betrothed. He wanted to be just over a carat, so our jeweler friend fold us one at or near cost that was excellent quality and 1.01 carats. We chose the simple setting and matching wedding band together. </p>
<p>It sounds like your H designed a lovely and very meaningful necklace @dietz199. I took a class in jewelry making and design class, but never had the vision or artistry. </p>
<p>Does sound very pretty, dietz. maybe we should go into designing cc jewelry. we could design little helicopters and people around them, a pendant reading “chance me!”, or one that says “ivy is not the new green”.</p>
<p>My grandfather gave me my most important piece. My grandfather went to Israel every year and stayed with a friend. She was a survivor and the sole survivor of a large family. She gave my grandfather a ring that belonged to her great grandmother. (early 1800s). The ring was small, thin and had a natural pearl in the center. It is a piece of artwork. Totally not my style, but part of my heart.</p>
<p>“I love beautiful things. Whether I can afford to buy them or not.”</p>
<p>I too love looking at beautiful formal china, chandeliers, strassed Louboutins… Have no desire to own any of these high maintenance items, but absolutely love to look at them. :)</p>
<p>“I’ve had two used treadmills…both got the same amount of use as a carefully researched new one. And they both made awesome clothes racks!”</p>
<p>Well, thumper, I did not expect that I would get so much use of my $$$ Precor, but I use it as often as I use the washing machine </p>
<p>I love diamonds . It is a true art to take a raw diamond and create a gem. I personally do not have a diamond engagement ring. H and I really did everything non-tradional. But I do have some diamond jewelry, just not enough!!</p>
<p>I’ve acquired a lot of distaste for the wedding-industrial complex over many years as a single girl. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with throwing a gorgeous blowout party with all the trimmings if you can afford it. Bill Gates rented out a Hawaiian island for all of his guests. I’ve danced at the weddings of dear friends whose rich families held fancy resort affairs. But I think the cultural expectations can have a poisonous effect on relationships and distract people from the substance of marriage. I find it sad that couples who are otherwise ready to launch married lives postpone the commitment until they can afford a sufficiently fancy event/ring/etc. It’s even sadder that those couples are probably correct in fearing that friends would call them cheap or rude if the wedding were very small or very frugal. That’s an unhealthy pressure – when it was normal in our culture for couples outside the aristocracy to have cake and punch and a little gold ring, brides didn’t feel cheated. The whole commercial enterprise is making people less happy.</p>
<p>And it is folks like this who deserve to be invited to a wedding arranged by the soon-to-be-married couple located in a much more rustic settling for the occasion…like the local junkyard with all that’s associated with it…including the o-err aromas. :D</p>
<p>Because I do regard diamond engagement rings as a metaphor for life, for me this article relates back to the thread. Why is a young woman called a princess when she is very direct about what she wants from her male partner? Why is princess or queen seen as a pejorative rather than a synonym of strength? Why do we describe women who are very clear about their wants as high maintenance? </p>
<p>Why is there an expectation women should sacrifice or limit their material desires and future career opportunities to marry and create a family? That is the time for the discussion and an opportunity to more easily part ways and find more compatible partners. I applaud young women who are very clear what they want and don’t start compromising too early. Of course, compromise will eventually be necessary. Not being able to clearly state what you want before committing to a relationship seems to me the equivalent of expecting you will change your partner’s perceived shortcomings.</p>
<p>Ceremonies should fit the couple. My DH and his fiancee are getting outdoors, under very tall trees. They are outdoorsy and its what they want. Some of their friends will camp out on the grounds (um, not me!) This is not about cost, its about doing what they want. Its their wedding.</p>
<p>My daughter and future SIL have very different expectations and family circumstances. I will be interested in seeing how they explore and resolve those differences during the engagement period. I think that will tell a lot about the kind of marriage they will have. I have been practicing smiling broadly while nodding sagely.</p>
<p>When I finally pulled myself away from CC and read the Sunday paper, I began to understand it is all a matter of degree. I am a conspicuous consumer. Even though I tell myself it is to support the coffee shop’s political stand and to rent their wifi. We are all more alike than not. Maybe emilybee’s two groups are really just one.</p>
<p>I have to go polish silver for Thanksgiving now. How about that for a loaded/weighted & freighted statement? :)</p>
<p>I love the idea of a CC jewelry design team. I’d add:</p>
<p>A Tiger necklace. One with two glowing yellow/greenish eyes and long long extended claws.
An item with exchangeable numbers giving the latest SAT/ACT scores
A ladder style pendant where one can add all the EC’s in which one has ever participated…from pre-school on up…</p>
<p>“Why is there an expectation women should sacrifice or limit their material desires and future career opportunities to marry and create a family?”</p>
<p>I don’t get the connection you’re making. What do diamonds have to do with future career opportunities?</p>
<p>“Why do we describe women who are very clear about their wants as high maintenance?”</p>
<p>We don’t. It’s the wants themselves that make a person high maintenance. There are plenty of passive-aggressive high maintenance people who want their partner to just know the wants without being told. My mom is high maintenance and I’m low maintenance, but we’re both very clear about our wants.</p>
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