<p>Yeesh some of the judgments and assumptions on here are something else. </p>
<p>I agree that the idea of x monthly salary is stupid, but to each his/her own.
Fwiw, my partner doesn’t have an engagement ring because he didn’t want one. He doesn’t wear jewelry and works with special needs kids who tend toward violence. He doesn’t wear anything they can potentially grab and chuck.
We went half and half on my engagement ring- because why not? </p>
<p>I have had a grand total of ONE person inquire about the origin of my diamonds (clear and blue)- and it was someone I didn’t even know. She got an earful from me, but other than that, I’ve never had to explain to people that it was a “clean” diamond. Though I do, sometimes, depending on the audience because I like to share the story.</p>
<p>Honestly, if the woman in the OP is sensitive enough to care about the origins of her ring, I doubt she’s looking for a large rock to show off. But, whether we like it or not, some people like sparkly things- and that’s just fine! My ring is the only piece of jewelry I ever wear but I’d be lying if I said I don’t like the way it sparkles. </p>
<p>“D1 is not going to get engaged until her BF can afford a diamond ring of certain size. As her mother, I also think there needs to be a proper ring before the engagement. I also happen to love diamond because it is my birth stone.”</p>
<p>More that oldfort did not say <em>exactly</em> what size A grad student with no income and loans galore will not be able to afford even a tiny, cheapo diamond. </p>
<p>^^^My experience is that only corundum and diamond are durable enough for everyday wear - emeralds are best suited to occasional or very careful use.</p>
<p>Thanks, GMT, that’s just what I taught my Geo102 students back in the day.
It’s pretty darn hard to scratch.<br>
One of the posters above presented it as a stone vulnerable to random scratches and damage</p>
<p>My engagement ring is a circa 3 carat, IIRC, emerald cut sapphire flanked by small diamonds. We picked it out together in the diamond district in Manhattan, and I’ve worn it every day since I got it. I am not fond of diamonds, generally, except as accents. I prefer colored stones. I love emeralds, sapphires, aquamarines, and peridot.</p>
<p>I do like large, emerald cut diamonds, but H’s standards for diamonds were such that it would have had to be tiny to be affordable. :)</p>
<p>I have an emerald engagement ring. I didn’t want a diamond, I always preferred colored stones. I think using colored stones in engagement rings was a trend for a while, probably because of Princess Diana. Now that Kate Middleton is wearing it, perhaps it will come back. </p>
<p>Mining is a dirty, tough business no matter what the mineral. I understand the desire to avoid “blood diamonds” or “conflict diamonds,” but like so many other fashionable bugaboos, there is a lot of hypocrisy here. So much of our technology depends upon resource extraction that’s not pretty. If you want to live like an 18th-century peasant, go right ahead. Then you can judge.</p>
<p>Estate jewelry is a simple way to avoid the “conflict diamond” dilemma. The diamond on my engagement ring was mined and cut ca. 1910. I’m sure the person who found it probably did not live a great life. But neither do the people who mine the metals that make my laptop work.</p>
<p>Thank you for all of your responses. Son’s GF will not want anything large or flashy. Son does not have a fortune to spend, he will not go into debt for a ring and GF will not want him to. </p>
<p>I, personally, would like to see her own a nice piece of jewelry. I think she deserves something special, however she defines that. </p>
<p>Son has Aspergers, so I have always been a bit more involved in the gift-giving than most moms. I have never wanted him to mess up a good thing because he may have missed some cues. </p>
<p>missypie, there’s an online source, cited somewhere upthread, that has really nice rings that probably wouldn’t break the bank. IIRC, you pick the setting, the metal, and the stone (precious or semi-precious). They have really nice stuff.</p>
<p>S & DIL each have engagement and wedding rings from Gemvara. Their engagement rings are infinity knots, which for two math/CS folks, was not surprising. Her ring has iolite, which is a purple-blue stone that the Vikings used to navigate to the Americas. She, being English and emigrating here to be with S, thought it was appropriate. (I love the symbolism.) S’s ring has blue topaz (not his birthstone, but I guess it’s his favorite color). Their wedding bands have the same stones. Prices were reasonable.</p>
<p>I have an emerald engagement ring also; happens to be my birthstone. I have never liked diamonds. It’s probably about .75 carat, which is big enough for me. That purchase was extravagant enough for me, personally I am uncomfortable spending a lot on a piece of jewelry. It has lasted 27 years.</p>
<p>I have rings that are other stones, ( that I’ve inherited)
They aren’t banged up or sanded down, including my opals which are quite soft compared to diamonds.
The setting can be designed in a way to highlight and secure the stones.</p>
<p>In the early '80’s when I was first married, many of my peers wanted big rocks, I believe my sisters ring was two carats and my sister in laws were almost as showy. ( my sister & I are still married to our first husbandsI dont really like rings as they are always catching on something, although I did have a big zirconia, I wore when I went out with my friends or by myself, as it reduced being hit on.
My D wears more jewelry than I do, especially after traveling in India. Rings, bracelets, nose rings…
but I know that she would care more about the sentimental and artistic value of a piece than demanding that a strict dollar amount be adhered to.
She isn’t a diamond fan either for the reasons OP gave in her initial post, but she does have good taste in jewelry.</p>
A grad student with no income and loans galore will not be able to afford even a tiny, cheapo diamond. </p>