Sophmore girls make pact to get pregnant and raise babies together

Parent Cafe
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<p>emeraldkity: The story below is from the article you cited, which basically is about how low income Canadian women get pregnant more, have less abortions, and less infertility treatments, as the latter is expensive so they are not privy to infertility treatments as easily (although if they have babies at a younger age than wealthier people, then this may be the reason in part.) </p>

<p>I really have a question about this story below, which I assume is supposed to get us thinking about how tough it is for the working poor to raise children. WHY IN THE WORLD IS MARIA PREGNANT AGAIN? SHE HAS 2 CHILDREN ALREADY FOR WHOM SHE CAN’T REALLY PROVIDE, AND OBVIOUSLY KNOWS HOW PREGNANCIES HAPPEN.<br>
Are we supposed to feel bad and get her qualified for WIC and food stamps, if it was Maria in the USA? Or do we wonder why someone who is already overburdened as a stay-at-home mom has CHOSEN to get pregnant again?</p>

<p>Form your quoted slide show:
"Nutrition</p>

<p>Maria</p>

<p>Maria is a 33 year old mother of two boys, ages 3 and 5. She is four months pregnant with her third child, and is hopeful it will be a girl. She and her husband, along with their sons, live in a small two bedroom apartment. Maria has not worked since the birth of her first son. While the family could use the income, she has not been able to find affordable childcare for her sons. Maria’s husband is hard working, but his job as a labourer only pays $10 an hour. The couple supports their family on less than $2000 a month, and spends 45% of their income on housing.</p>

<p>Maria tries to provide good nutrition for her sons, but sometimes neglects her own needs. Since she has become pregnant, she has tried to improve her nutrition. She has been taking a maternal vitamin since just before she became pregnant, but is now only taking one every other day since the bottle is almost empty. The family usually has enough to eat, but has had to visit an emergency food hamper program in the past, when unforeseen expenses have strained the family’s financial situation further. The nutritional value of the food at the food hamper program is generally good, but is limited by the availability of donated food items."</p>

<p>As far as I’m concerned, this is an example of lack of personal responsibility and forethought, to bring another child into the world that she cannot afford.However, since the Gloucester teens are in the US, they can bring as many state-subsidized babies into the world as they want. Maybe the solution for Maria is to move to the US for the benefits, although they are more for single mothers, as Maria’s husband’s income will count against her for benefit calculation. She could probably get some food stamps, WIC and medicaid for herself and the kids though.</p>

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<p>“It’s a catch-22. The other alternative is to not provide for the basic needs of the babies, and it isn’t their fault, after all.”</p>

<p>There are ways to administer benefits that would not be so easy and beneficial. Too much of the money is used for cigarettes and tatoos.</p>

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<p>I would agree that in a utopian world, those who concieve a child, would be able to provide for its physical, emotional & educational needs, without too big of a burden on the state.</p>

<p>I don’t think anyone in their " right mind" would bring a child into an environment where caring for a baby would be a stress that would tip an unstable situation into dangerous territory.</p>

<p>But you don’t get yourself in that place by one action or wrong step. Bit by bit you find yourself in a hole with no light, and no expectations of a candle. It doesn’t take long until it feels like you have always been there, and if you were raised in a family like mine, you feel that this dark hole is what everyone thinks you deserve.But it is yours & so you hang onto it, because it is all you have.</p>

<p>People who were raised by families that loved them, that thought they were good and worthy and would accomplish great things, really have no idea how those without economic or emotional resources battle each and every day just to stay alive.</p>

<p>( so how do I get state aid to pay for a tattoo? I have quite a detailed one in mind :wink: )</p>

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<p>“( so how do I get state aid to pay for a tattoo? I have quite a detailed one in mind )”</p>

<p>Go on welfare and get the cash which is supposed to go to your kids’ basic needs, and go over to the tatoo parlor. How else do they get them?</p>

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<p>“I don’t think anyone in their " right mind” would bring a child into an environment where caring for a baby would be a stress that would tip an unstable situation into dangerous territory.</p>

<p>But you don’t get yourself in that place by one action or wrong step. Bit by bit you find yourself in a hole with no light, and no expectations of a candle. It doesn’t take long until it feels like you have always been there, and if you were raised in a family like mine, you feel that this dark hole is what everyone thinks you deserve.But it is yours & so you hang onto it, because it is all you have."</p>

<p>That doesn’t answer why “Maria” as in the article above feels it’s a good idea or a good time for her to try for a girl as her 3rd child. She can barely provide for her 2 boys.</p>

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<p>Can anyone say court ordered sterilization… </p>

<p>Just kidding, but seriously this is crazy. It gets my blood boiling just like the welfare families that keep popping kids out in order to get more welfare.</p>

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<p>In the newspaper it also went on about how the school (area is mostly Roman Catholic) wouldn’t dispense contraception and how that had something to do with it. Hello? These girls got pregnant on purpose!</p>

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<p>dke, I totally agree. This has nothing to do with contraception, but lots to do with character. </p>

<p>For whatever reason, these girls do not believe sex and pregnancy belong in marriage. They do not believe children need a father and a mother. They do not believe children need a parent who can support them. We can’t know if they were never taught these things or if they rejected those principles. Regardless, it is sad and infuriating. It’s not just the foolish girls who will be suffering, but their innocent babes, the grandparents, the taxpayers,… arrrggghhhh.</p>

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<p>slow down you old curmudgeons. i am vehemently pro-choice, and I stated if I were the parent in this situation we would be marching to an abortion clinic. However, some people on welfare cannot afford contraception which results in many children. Furthermore, thanks to our terrible health care in this country, abortions are also expensive. </p>

<p>Many successful people have been born to teen moms and single moms. It is possible that some (not all) of these girls will have the support systems within their family to raise productive members of society. Thankfully, the school district has the resources to allow the girls to finish school. You are making a lot of assumptions without all of the facts of these girls backgrounds…that’s not fair.</p>

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<p>This has nothing to do with failed contraception. It was their choice. And tax money enables them to do this and have the free lunch. Even the welcoming support system in the school with Day Care, etc does this. </p>

<p>Of course some of these mothers and babies will succeed, however you define it. But we as a society encourage teenage mothers by supporting these mothers and babies. I think people should support themselves, not bring babies in the world expecting my tax dollars to do that. I could use my tax money for my own children, instead of it going to these dingbats’ babies. But I have no choice in that!</p>

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<p>There may be seventeen different stories here. What about the fathers? Are there seventeen different fathers? Did each of the fathers know about this plan or were they kept in the dark? When are these babies due or are they already born?</p>

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<p>Apparently the fathers are irrelevant. The women do not want the adult ones to be charged with statutory rape.</p>

<p>You won’t get much money out of them, if they are other HS students. And one of them is a homeless man that is 24 years old, whom a teen turned to when she needed to get pregnant for these purposes.</p>

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<p>DHR, condoms don’t cost that much, do they?</p>

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<p>This has nothing to do with failed contraception. It was their choice.</p>

<p>I agree with that- and I do admit that some are so whacked with their values that they don’t have a problem with using taxpayer money for their lifestyle.</p>

<p>I think we should help people when they need it- and I think we need to raise the limit of what we consider low income, but I also don’t think that outside of those with extreme disability , that the govt should be their sole source of income.</p>

<p>Effort counts for a lot in my book, and even though a woman with say two little kids, could stay home with them for less money than it would take to have them in a * good* childcare, while she became trained to enter the workforce * at a living wage*, that would be preferable to me in most circumstances because it would improve her families long range outlook.</p>

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<p>Do note that they said that “nearly half” the 17 girls who are pregnant were participants in this stupid scheme.</p>

<p>That leaves about 10 who got pregnant by accident. I hear an NPR reporter who had talked with some of them describing how one girl and her boyfriend used a condom maybe every three or so times they had sex. The reporter said that they didn’t really seem to understand that they needed to use one EVERY time. Apparently access to female contraception involved travelling 20 miles or so. So access to and education about birth control does play a role for more than half of these girls.</p>

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<p>emerdldkitty:</p>

<p>I agree with your statement that we need to help only people with disability or unforseen events. </p>

<p>But no democrats have courgae to change the system. They let these people exploit taxpayers money than put a limit that should not be allowed. We as taxpayers should not fund this kind of bad behaviour. Personal responsibilty should be placed, otherwise this vicious cycle will continue. This is bad for the country and for well being of the future generation born in this kind of household. Serious efforts need to be done to educate these kids to teach them fiscal responsibilty alongwith better moral values. This will end cycle of dependency and hoplessness for future generations.</p>

<p>All these kids are bright and if someone tells them they can be educated - Question is who is going to do it.</p>

<p>Country needs to have a serious dialogue to address this issue otherwise these kind of behaviou and cost will keep escalating.</p>

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<p>consoltaion:</p>

<p>Not having personal resonsibilty and blaming others for their action is not an acaceptable way. If contraception was not avaialble,they should have waited till they could pay to have these babies. Why taxpayers have topick up the tab forthier stupidity.</p>

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<p>Planned Parenthood as well as public health clinics offer free contraception to low income women.</p>

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<p>Education perhaps plays a role. But just because condoms, which are available in any gas station, are male contraception, it doesn’t mean they are not an option.</p>

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<p>Do they really sell condoms in a gas station without a store attached?
I think we need to get better at not only teaching our girls about choices and responsibility but our boys- these girls didn’t get pregnant by themselves.</p>

<p>I think it is really hard to break a pattern or try a new path.
Look how hard it is for even first generation kids to attend college.</p>

<p>& I have a friend who was 16 when she got pg, ( she is about 7 years younger than I am), she shared custody with the father, although he did the bulk of the raising of her oldest. She remarried when her oldest was about 7.</p>

<p>Her oldest however, became pregnant when * she was 17*. Everyone is doing OK financially, they don’t use govt aid & she is now living closer to her first husband than 2nd- but it is a pattern I have seen more than once.
( she shares a house with her daughter and her boyfriend and her kids & grandkids)</p>

<p>Of course I was fairly wild when I was a teen ( not that my kids know the extent) & my kids , especially my youngest is quite conservative in behavior ( but not politics :wink: )</p>

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<p>Hollywood is making this shameful act acceptable. And if anyone including like me will say anything against this bad culture, democrats will rip them apart.</p>

<p>I wonder why people do not give time to their kids and teaching them that ultimately everone is responsible for thier actions.</p>

<p>And republicans will use this matter for political purpose rtaher tahn solve the problems.</p>