@roethlisburger Where do you buy deer jerky?
@doschicos Is a moon pie like a whoopie pie?
Edit: looks like a not messy smore.
Ha ha @gearmom - I bought black-eyed peas in a can once and my grandmother recoiled in horror!
Country ham is a kind of cured ham – it refers to a method of curing and smoking done in the Southeast U.S. (I’m thinking North Carolina, South Carolina, Tennessee, Virginia, and Georgia.) It’s also called a Virginia ham. They’re salt-cured for several months but sometimes they’re hardwood-cured for years! The taste is very different than a spiral sliced ham – the country ham is very intense. It’s an acquired taste, I think, but I love it, especially in ham biscuits.
I guess it may not be worth the expense if you’re not sure if they’ll appreciate it.
@scout59 What BBQ things? What sauce to recommend?
Lots of good ideas here. I especially like the suggestions from Doschicos. Here are some companies I’ve ordered from and have either been happy with what I’ve received or gotten good responses from recipients:
https://www.priesters.com/
https://www.cajungrocer.com/
http://www.southernseason.com/shop/gifts
http://www.thealabamagiftcompany.com/alabama-made-gourmet-foods.html
http://mcewenandsons.com/all-products/organic-stone-ground-grits
http://www.alabamagoods.com/Gourmet-Food-s/1824.htm
If you buy grits, do get stone ground. There’s a world of difference.
Unlike the red sauces in most places, white sauce is popular in parts of AL. It’s served on BBQ chicken.
IME, southern gravy is made with bulk sausage (Jimmy Dean, both mild and hot), crumbled and cooked, with the fat used to make a blond roux with flour to which milk, salt & pepper are added. It’s not something you could put in a gift basket.
I can’t abide country ham or black eyed peas. My southern relatives didn’t disown me for my peculiar tastes. I might stick to peach and pecan products, plus some cheese straws and a sack of stone ground grits.
@gearmom BBQ sauce is tricky unless you specify what kind the person likes. Even though people like to generalize, there are several types that are “southern”. Here in SC there are 4 types of sauce depending on where you are (check out the SC BBQ Trail). There’s light red, sweet red, mustard based and pepper vinegar. I like it all, but some people are particular. One of H’s cousins lives in NY and misses mustard based sauce and buys it when here.
If you aren’t looking for cooking ingredients, I love the baskets from Young’s Pecans - everything from plain to salted to praline and can also get mini pecan pies, benne wafers and cheese straws. Or maybe look on the Southern Living magazine website - that’s where I found reviews when I wanted to get a smoked turkey for Christmas.
Second Anson Mills or small mill for grits. Wouldn’t bother giving someone dried peas that you can get at a store. Maybe some gourmet hot sauce. Some gift baskets might have small pack of country ham (can you not buy that in stores everywhere 
) Try Two Brothers Jerky for fancy jerky.
@scmom12 We have a Cracker Barrel nearby that might sell country ham. Just because I’ve never noticed it doesn’t mean it isn’t At the grocery store. I will look. I’ve never ventured out of Sweet Baby Rays BBQ sauce it Trader Joe’s Korean BBQ, but I’ve seen Pitmasters so I am somewhat aware of the importance of BBQ. Too bad it isn’t like chocolate and you could point to a top brand.
@Silpat He makes/uses a white gravy. Not going to try to make it. Maybe a peach jam?
Too bad @Consolation has not opened an online store for people who are too lazy to put up veggies from the summer.
Cracker Barrel might be a good source. I was really joking about ham - I get that could be regional. If it is in your grocery store, it is likely on an end-cap near the meat in flat packs .
“Too bad it isn’t like chocolate and you could point to a top brand.”
That is probably as controversial as BBQ! 
Here is link to suggestions from Southern Living.
https://www.southernliving.com/food/holidays-occasions/artisan-food-gifts#sweet-potato-butter
If recipient is southern but no longer in south I love the Palmetto pimento cheese. If he’s in south he can probably find that in his stores. Condiments like pepper jelly, chow chow, or artichoke pickles are nice.
@gearmom, I definitely have things on my shelves that you could send, such as Corn Relish, Vidalia Onion Pickles, Dilly Beans, two kinds of peach conserve/jam, hot pepper jelly…
One of the books I started preserving from is Aunt Freddie’s Pantry, a slim little volume by Lee Bailey (the cook, not the lawyer) and his aunt. The subtitle of the book is “Southern-Style Preserves, Jellies, Chutneys, Conserves, Pickles, Relishes, Sauces…And What Goes With Them.” Freddie’s first line is “I was raised on butter, molasses, and biscuits in a place called Ruston, Louisiana.” The book, published in 1984, is a treasure, it really is.
It is available used through Amazon, and new and used through Abebooks (the “new” ones are very pricey).
You could send some of these:
Personally, I would NOT send mixes to a person who likes to cook. Top quality ingredients that are not available everywhere, yes.
This might give you some bacon ideas:
https://www.zingermans.com/Product.aspx?ProductID=G-BAC-3
$99 for less than three pounds of bacon?!? Looks delicious, but…wow.
The book looks really interesting!
@gearmom , important question: are you sending this, or giving it in person?
I also recommend this source: http://www.southernseason.com/
Our favorite source for country ham (and other ham as well) has been https://www.edwardsvaham.com/. Sadly, they had a fire, but they are back up and running–they are sourcing their hams from other providers, but I think they will still be good. My favorite is the Wigwam country ham–but it’s really strong (and expensive).
Pimento Cheese! I forgot Pimento Cheese! Zingerman’s makes one that is really really good, but it’s pricey.
People laugh at me, but I say that every Southern cook also needs some Duke’s mayonnaise.
Excuse me, but if he cooks “Southern”, he probably already has his favorite brand of grits, his favorite ham, his favoirte bourbon, etc. Knows where to get fresh pecans when he needs them. Definitely has opinions on BBQ. How about a good cookbook instead? Maybe one of these https://www.southernliving.com/kitchen-assistant/best-cookbooks
I would get something from Penzey Spices. They are always well-received in my experience.
RC & Moon pies. Makes me think of simpler days.
@Consolation We are sending in person. They live closer to uni and DS2 practically lives there. Right now it’s just the three of them there. Dad, daughter and DS1. If DS1 is not there, they miss him. It was unplanned on our part that he would be there so much. DH has just had a talk with him about us writing checks to contribute officially. The dad has said he didn’t want anything but I gave a large grocery store GC at Thanksgiving. I don’t mind spending money on this in addition to a GC. The dad seems like a down to earth country guy. Reminds !e of my dad actually.
So definitely adding in Vidalia. My dad loved Vidalia. I’ll but the cookbook for me for next year. If I had been organized I would have bought preserves at church bizarres. Oh well. Bacon is good. I’ll check out our local fancy grocery store. Pecans. We have an excellent nut shop in the city. I’ll try regular and I’ll make fancy. @LeastComplicated .I’d love to add a good Peach Preserve and Corn Relish. The grits and country ham are question marks because I’m out of my depth on those two. I wonder if I could get a good quality regular ham and maybe find a small country one.
I love the idea of rubs, spices and BBQ. But that seems complicated. I might give that a try anyway. Let me look at the store today and check out the spice links. We are on our way.
I wonder if I should buy a Coleman cooler instead of a basket.