<p>Childhood discipline is a very interesting subject to me because I found it extremely challenging. My own children overturned most of my preconceived ideas about child rearing. Basically my goal was to end up with adult children who “behaved” for some reason other than fear of negative consequences. I don’t want them to avoid stealing because it is illegal. I want them to avoid stealing because it’s wrong</p>
<p>I definitely wanted to raise children who were able to evaluate whether a “no” given by someone in authority made any sense.</p>
<p>alh – I agree with post #15. I was spanked occasionally and do not think that it harmed me (other than the pain of the moment). Then again, I was so worried about parental disapproval that other forms of discipline would have been just as effective.</p>
<p>It is illogical to tell children not to hit, then to hit them. We didn’t spank our children for that reason, rather than from a concern that it would inflict harm.</p>
<p>*The researchers found a clear connection between spanking at age 5 and the child’s behavior at age 9. Compared to children who were never spanked by their mothers, those who were spanked at least twice a week scored 2.66 points higher on a test of aggression and rule-breaking, while those who were spanked less frequently scored 1.17 points higher, according to the study. *</p>
<p>Twice/week suggests other problems- in the parenting. Add me to those who wonder if this is a swat or something much more serious. Ie, whallops, a real “lesson” in the imbalance of power between an adult and child-?</p>
<p>Anyone know what the 2.66 difference in aggression levels or 5.7 on vocabulary really amounts to, in a 9 year old? Is it big or just a difference?</p>
<p>Children who are spanked at least twice a week may be children who are more likely to be spanked BECAUSE of their rule-breaking behavior. I don’t think there’s any proof of causation there. Moreover, it’s entirely possible that spanking parents are not as effective disciplinarians anyway because their way of maintaining control doesn’t include other forms of discipline. The ineffectiveness, not the spanking itself, might be contributing to the aggressive, rule-breaking behavior.</p>
<p>The argument that spanking causes bad behavior isn’t convincing, and it’s not going to convince well-behaved adults who were spanked as children. Rather, anti-spanking efforts should emphasize the following: Do you really want to hit your child? Isn’t it illogical to teach them not to hit, then hit them? Aren’t there other, better ways to discipline that don’t involve you hitting them?</p>
<p>As a parent, I just can’t imagine hitting my child.</p>
<p>My thought is that parents who spank routinely talk less with their kids. They utter more commands and directions versus conversing with their kids. Thus there is less variety in vocabulary heard and learned over time. As far as aggression- if a parents spanks when angry, tired, frustrated, aggression as an outlet for that stress is consistently modeled and transferred to the child.</p>
<p>Not fully related to the spanking issue, the topic of this thread but for those of you who have interest in the relationship of vocabulary to learning and the income disparities, please see this newer website/movement: (incidentally an initiative of The Clinton (Bill, Hilary, Chelsea) Foundation</p>
<p>I’m not an advocate of spanking, but I do question studies like this one. The article refers to the attempt to controlling certain factors, for example, they take the baby’s temperament in the first year into account. But I can’t help wondering if verbal ability seem to be affected because people who have trouble expressing themselves verbally tend to spank and have kids who inherit the tendency to be less verbal.</p>
<p>I don’t understand how your post addresses what I wrote, Niquii77? I said that discipline didn’t have to be either spanking or mind games - you respond with “no way.” No way what?</p>
<p>This is silly. I grew up in an era when most kids were spanked, and the differences in our vocabulary could be attributed to differences in parental education, SES, etc. I’m guessing this is still true today. It’s just that better educated parents spank less (since spanking is considered taboo in many communities), while the less educated ones probably spank as much as they always did. Some rich, educated people certainly spank their kids, I’m sure, but poverty has always been more strongly associated with corporal punishment.</p>
<p>I think there is a huge difference in spanking twice a week and spanking if the child is doing something potentially dangerous. Once DS ran away out into the busy street when he was 3. I’m pretty sure my swatting him on the butt didn’t affect his vocabulary but it did make him think about not doing it again…</p>
<p>The fact is the punishment just does not work!!! Bribing kids does a wonder. We cater to D’s wishes big time and my older S. is trying to spoil his own as much as he could. Results are pretty positive and I would say even impressive. One common thing that I see on all spoiled brats in our family - adults / kids who are extrememly sensitive to the needs of other around them (also noted by all teachers, profs, etc.), very helpful and ready to land a hand time and again. why is that so? Maybe because they were raised by parents who were very sensitive to their kid’s smallest desires? I tend to think so. I am not even touching on success…phenomenal in many areas.</p>
<p>I was always pretty disturbed by the idea of spanking. I’ve also been very confused at how, in Western culture, spanking seems at least moderately acceptable (not completely, and hardly much these days, but no one seems to classify it as abuse) while hitting your child made you a dangerous, horrible parent. Spanking seems so much worse. It’s physical and emotional combined. I can’t imagine a child doing anything to deserve that surely.</p>
<p>I never got any physical punishment as a child. I was pretty sensitive (still am honestly). I couldn’t imagine how horrified I’ld have felt if I did receive physical punishment, but my parents would never do that.
I tend to have very traditional ideas of parenting and parent-child relations in general, but people who grow up in peaceful households seem to have less issues as adults. Peaceful household meaning one where everyone keeps their cool and knows their limits, including but not exclusive to physical punishment.</p>
<p>Silliness. All kids are different. Some kids respond well to one type of discipline, some to another. I was spanked. I think I can count the number of times on one hand and have fingers left over. I never in my LIFE struck anyone in anger. I can say the same for most of my friends growing up and also for my children. </p>
<p>I never spanked in anger, but very consistently and immediately for doing something incredibly dangerous to yourself, harming another or deliberate and immediate disobedience. My kids are all verbally off the charts. And I don’t think I ever had need to spank anyone much over the age of 4 because any such behavior as described above ceased by that point.</p>
<p>I have friends that don’t spank and friends that do. I see some of them on BOTH sides doing things I think are “wrong” and some who don’t spank that I would also consider abusive. There are things i consider WAY more evil than a swat on the tush. Not everyone who spanks executes discipline the same way. Neither everyone that doesn’t. Both can be good or bad parents in terms of discipline. And I agree…correlation does not equal causation.</p>
<p>Have been spanked at home and at school and have spanked too. To me it’s just another tool that is good when used correctly and can be bad if not, just like any other punishment. I don’t know of any instance where I or my kids received anything close to twice a week, let alone twice a month. There can be parents who don’t spank their kids, but inflict mental punishment or plain indifference that can have a whole lot more of an impact. The key is if the parent loses control, the damage will outweigh the benefits.</p>
<p>If parents choose not to spank, that’s perfectly reasonable, but they don’t have any business banning it for everyone. That’s like saying a group of people feel that putting people in jail is wrong and we should always have a different approach to handling criminals. </p>
<p>As to its effect on vocabulary, there are many other child rearing factors which I think are far more relevant to this measure. If one family raised their children by leaving them to reality TV all evening throughout their youth while another read to them and was involved in their activities, I suspect it would have a vastly greater impact than the mode of punishment.</p>