I highly recommend this book, which I’ve mentioned on this site before. It has concrete, tangible tips for projecting confidence. Very practical. Best book on the subject that I’ve seen. It is called The Credibility Code.
http://www.amazon.com/The-Credibility-Code-Confidence-Competence/dp/0985265604
You can read it in a hour or so. There are accompanying video clips.
It really can help to focus on a few friendly faces you know will be in the audience. For some reason, public speaking has always been pretty much OK for me, as long as I’m very prepared about what I want to say.
As an example of the type of stuff that the book I recommended suggests, here’s a link to one of the videos that accompany the book. This one is a very brief 5 min video on posture. (The rest are behind paywalls but this one is free). It may seem like these points are totally obvious but it in reality it is easy to overlook them, snd they make a huge difference.
http://www.thecredibilitycode.com/video/pmqd88.html
The posture tips are the most basic; the topics get more complex as the book moves on, but this will give you a sense of the practical tips in the book. I review them often, such as before I start a trial or have major court appearances.
One tip to keep in mind is if one makes a mistake during a live presentation/performance, just roll past it as if nothing happened. Better to roll with it than to call further attention to the mistake.
Unless the entire presentation/performance from beginning to end is abysmal(not likely in most cases) or the presenter comes across as an arrogant jerk(not likely in most cases), most audience members are willing to overlook a few minor missteps.
Another thing which helped when I had to give one hour lectures as a substitute lecturer to two separate 50-70 student sections, leave some time for audience questions/participation. Great for the audience and will mean one won’t run into the danger of putting the entire audience to sleep by droning on exclusively for 1 hour straight.
Also, don’t do what one HS teacher I had did during every one of his lectures: stare straight at the back wall and drone in monotone for the entire class/presentation session. Great way to put people to sleep and give the audience the impression you’re phoning the lecture in even when you’re not.
It’s a shame Toastmasters doesn’t have a drive through. It would be great if one had a place to go speak in front of others at a moments notice to get cover these jitters. A place where you were expected to fail and everyone was on your side helping you get through it. Toastmasters but in a one night crash course.
Maybe you can practice in front of your family.
Or maybe you can hit the local karaoke bar and absolutely embarrass yourself until you don’t care,
Those are my brilliant ideas.
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I’d tell you my public speaking stories but they would not be helpful. Let’s just say you are not alone.
I just downloaded the book. This is a presentation after an RFP that I wrote. When it was 4 people I knew they all read it and the presentation was more focused on what makes us unique. Yesterday we found out it’s 25 people and I have to assume those extra people have not read it or heard much so it has to change into who we are and what we do. We are meeting today to go through it all, and tomorrow doing a dry run at our office. I have the staff coming and I assigned them roles and what that person is usually concerned about. Afterwards I’ll be all frank luntz and question them about what worked and didn’t and if their concerns were answered.
Hubby says I need to pull out my woman swagger and not say I’m nervous. I’m trying. In bed last night I decided I wasn’t going. This morning I know I have to do it.
@eyemamom . You really should be fine since you know the material so well. If you are really worried can you have a co presenter standing with you that could present parts of it? You can suggest this as part of personnel development for your staff 
DH makes many presentations and while he may be incredibly anxious beforehand, once he begins he seems to almost immediately relax and is comfortable. This seems to be true for many people but not for me. DD and I also feel anxious before, but once up there our voices get shaky and physiologically we’re a mess - voices cracking, legs shaking etc. - and this does not just go away. I’ve been to presentations where the presenter had the same symptoms - and it can be excruciating for everyone. A physician friend explained that some people are much slower than others to re uptake the adrenalin that comes from the anticipatory anxiety which is where the physiological issues come from. DD found that beta blockers were very helpful with this - did not affect the “nerves” part but stopped the ongoing shaking and other physical symptoms. I suspect that would be true for me also but I just continue to avoid. It may be that a tiny dose of beta blockers would be very helpful for you. Sending you very good wishes and hugs.
I give presentations on a regular basis-- sometimes to crowds of 400, followed by Q&A sessions of people grilling me afterwards. I often find that the most awkward part is the opening. Once I get past that and get into the meat of the materisl that I know inside-n-out, then I’m fine.
Know your opening line. Memorize it. I often start w:
“Good morning/afternoon ladies and gentlemen. Today I’d like to share with you…”
Memorize your closing line, too.
You absolutely MUST practice out loud. Stand while you practice.
When you’re delivering the presentation, pick one person in the audience to “talk to”. If you can work in a funny line in your talk, then the laugh will relax you and get the audience on your side.
Remember that YOU ARE THE EXPERT of the material you’re delivering. There may be subject matter experts in the room, but no one knows your particular spin of the material better than you do.
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^Great advice, @Massmomm. Now I need to work on my actual speech!
I disagree with the advice about telling the audience you are nervous. It does get the audience on your side but it undermines your authority as a speaker. Plus it puts the audience on edge and makes them notice the signs of your nerves much more. You don’t need to do that. It makes you feel better but it is less professional.
I also disagree with choosing one or two friendly faces and talking to them. That leads to disengagement by the rest of the group. Where you have a group of 25 or so, and many of those 25 are decision makers, it is best to try and make sustained eye contact with each person in that group. The eye contact should last 3-5 seconds, or the length of a short sentence or long clause. Keep your body straight but move your head, pointing your nose at the person you are making eye contact with. Really engage with that person before moving onto the next, randomly within the group. I personally think this is the most important tip to getting your message across to a smallish group (20-25 people).
You can practice the eye contact point by putting post-it notes on a wall to represent different faces. As you make eye contact with someone, think to yourself, I really need to communicate this message to this person (rather than I wonder how I am appearing right now, or I just need to get through this). Use reaching out or “handing something” gestures directly to the person you are making eye contact with. Making eye contact with each person around the room keeps attention from wandering.
Talk SLOWLY with pauses to allow your audience time to process what you are saying. Talking too fast is the biggest rookie mistake. Talk more loudly than you think you should.
PowerPoint definitely makes things easier in terms of taking the attention off you but can be distracting if slides are too busy.
In addition to beta blockers, use “round breathing” before you start to control external signs of nerves. Breathe in to the count of four, hold your breath to the count of four, exhale to the count of four, hold to the count of four, etc.
Haven’t watched the video but just remembered the advice to assume the “Wonder Woman” pose. Feet apart, shoulders up and hands on hips. Guess the fierce stance helps quell the adrenaline rush.
The “talk to one person” delivery is what I only advise to people who are really nervous. Being able to work the entire crowd tends to come with experience.
I agree with you that telling the crowd you are nervous will undermine your authority anc make the crowd nervous for you.
The other thing about announcing you are nervous: it diverts the audience away from your message. It is a powerful statement that primes the audience to be prepared at the end of your presentation to answer the question: Did she make it through the presentation without falling apart? It is nice to get high marks on that question but it is such a powerful distractor that the audience might forget to listen to the content of what you are saying.
That’s not a problem if you don’t really care if the audience absorbs your content (say, if you are a high school student giving a presentation on the revolutionary war). In that context, having the audience think, “she did a good job” is all you need.
But if you actually have to persuade your audience of something (i.e. Why they should buy your product and not your competitor’s), drawing attention to your performance by saying “I’m nervous; I’m usually chained to my desk” distracts attention from your substantive message, in my opinion.
Assuming the Wonder Woman pose as you practice and before you go onto speak is good because it helps to remind you to keep your arms away from the body and not cross your arms or “self-hug.” That’s a hard one for me. When I’m nervous I tend to want to keep my arms close to my body. Also it helps to remind me not to sway. Obviously you wouldn’t do the Wonder Woman pose while you are actually speaking!
Here’s another tip for all speakers, nervous or not: if there is a technical glitch with your presentation (ie., microphone doesn’t work, slides won’t advance, etc.) stop and get it fixed. Do not attempt to proceed without the proper technical support. The audience would much prefer to be able to hear you, even if there is a brief delay. I have seen this mistake happen many times, unfortunately.
As to whether to tell the audience that you are nervous, I get nottelling’s point, but I would say that whether to do this depends on how obvious it’s going to be that you are nervous. If it’s going to be obvious, I think it’s better to defuse it by saying something in advance, because otherwise I think the audience is even more likely to focus on how nervous you are.
Is the presentation a sales pitch to customers? Or is it an info sharing among compadres?
What is the exposure for financial or reputational damage to your organization if you screw up the presentation?
As one of the folks who brought up the “tell them your nervous” thing, it works for me. One, as far as authority goes, anybody with a brain will clue in to the content of what you are saying and if you know your stuff, no authority is lost. People are smart enough to realize there is a difference between being a master public speaker and an authority in one’s field to an audience of 25-50 people who are there to hear the substance. People can relate to being nervous as many don’t like public speaking. If this is a one-off type speaking event for someone who doesn’t speak regularly, I find it works. Would I recommend it to someone who makes their living by speaking regularly? No, probably not the best option. From my own experiences, no one was distracted from listening to the content. If anything, they were more engaged than they were when my coworkers presented, but that is probably because I was talking the substance they wanted to hear as the “expert” who actually did the work not just reported it. Frankly, they were smart enough to know what I had to say was something they wanted to hear and acknowledging my nervousness disengaged that awkward moment of speaking style from the important content I had to deliver letting everyone focus on the latter. I think context is important here.
First, great you’re going to do this… and, second the suggestions are wonderful, too.
I, too, have performance anxiety. Piano recitals as a child were a nightmare.
Things I’ve noticed personally over the years, when I’ve had to speak in a group setting, that have helped:
It’s better (at least for me) to present early. My anxiety increases as I wait through others speaking. If something unexpected happens just before I speak, it distracts me and decreases the anxiety. You might consider creating a minor distraction, like opening a bottle of water just before you start. Smile… it’s very difficult to feel anxious while smiling … you’ll feel better about yourself… and, someone’s bound to smile back, you’ll create a positive feedback loop.
If you decide to try a beta-blocker, test the dosage at home before hand. They can lower blood pressure, which in turn, can cause fainting.
The context if the presentation is important. If this is a sales pitch presentation to potential customers, telling the audience you are nervous undermines your professionalism and your authority to market your product.