This thread makes me glad that I didn’t have a shared account or CC with my parents when I was in college. Not that I ever hid anything from my parents, but there were purchases on there that I’m sure THEY didn’t want to see
Also, when I was using my card abroad, I’m pretty sure my mom would’ve freaked out the day that I was paying for things in several different cities (we were on the road and she didn’t know).
I don’t know how I feel about parents “stalking” their kids via CC activity, but I am a big proponent of making kids pay for their own leisure things… which shouldn’t be monitored (imo) if it’s their money (which should be in their own account).
On the other hand, if kids don’t want to be monitored, then they should pay for their own things.
My parents have an extra credit card that is connected to my account that they can use in emergencies. So if I were to see a random charge on there, you bet I’d call them to see what’s up. But that’s a different story
I pay the phone bill and usually look at kids usage details especially when he doesn’t return a text or call for a few days. It lets me know if he is still alive and using the phone. I don’t bother checking the credit card, he only uses it for major items and not very often.
Mine uses Facebook Messenger a lot. If I need proof-of-life when he is out of town, I can see when he was last active there.
Also, he just graduated from HS and among the other things we did at the bank today to transfer accounts to him as the primary owner was to get him a credit card in his name so that he can start to build up a credit score. We didn’t put ourselves on the CC, so his credit limit is only $500, which is probably a good thing.
I am in the stalker-lite group. I just know I would not l have wanted my parents to know my movements when I was in college so just wouldn’t do that to our kids. The kids know about cards–debit and credit–and fraud and I think they all watch carefully. They all know how to call the card provider. We made the transition from linked accounts to independence with all 3 the summer after freshman college year.
For us, knowing where kid was is secondary. Can’t help seeing where kid uses the joint card. Some of it may seem stalkerish, but I can’t help but smile when I see that she went to the grocery store rather than restaurants.
When she’s abroad, she uses our card because ours has a higher limit (which might be necessary in an emergency), and it has no foreign transaction fees). She pays us back.
We’re not stalking her; we’re stalking our credit accounts.
My D and I share her checking and savings account and all the accounts are available to me with online banking. I generally go on to my debit account weekly to be sure my paycheck has been auto deposited and when I do I check her accounts as well. Like me, she uses no cash, everything is paid for by debit so I can see virtually everything she spends $$ on lol. Today she was at Target and had lunch at Panera Last week when I checked she had transferred her entire savings (all of $200) into her checking and because I was afraid they would close down the empty account I texted her and she asked me to transfer $25 back because she was at work and didn’t know she only had the $200. She is generally very responsible so that’s a first for her but she doesn’t have to hide where she spends HER money…she earns it, she saves it and she understands her budget. I do get a kick out of where and how she spends it though, although it is rare that I say anything to her. The only thing I ever mention is if a charge looks fraudulent. If she ever asks to have my name taken off, I"ll have no problem with it.
I also share an account with my mother but she doesn’t do online banking. My name (like the above account) is more for safety and emergency purposes.
Our kids and I have a family plan for phone. I used to see all the phone numbers called of texted or answered god all the accounts from HS they college. It was mildly interesting but now i don’t see that as the bills just have a $$ total–unlimited texts and phone.
I look at any CCs I pay bills on and call or text if there are charges I want to be sure we’re made by them on our few joint accounts. I’ve never checked in real time what charges are being made and I think they’d feel stalked. Mostly they charge on their own cards so I have no idea what or where they’re spending.
