Only Literature Humanities, Contemporary Civilization, and Frontiers of Science count for 4 points; University Writing, Music Humanities, Art Humanities are only 3 points, and most likely your Global Core classes will be 3 points as well. Foreign language classes can be worth 4 or 5 points, but they are worth more because they a lot of work. My husband took a 5-point Japanese class one semester and the pace was fast. He dropped down to the 4-point Spanish sequence to finish his foreign language requirement instead.
That’s why I made the comment about more work - more credits = more work. Especially the foreign language classes.
Service academies are a completely different equation. Students who choose to go to a service academy understand at the outset that their college career will be long and difficult, with days filled primarily with studying, physical training, and military drilling. First-years at military academies aren’t even allowed to leave campus most weekends. If the OP were looking for that kind of environment and experience my answer would be different. However, one of her pros for Stanford was the “laid-back feel” and cons for Columbia was the heavy course load, so I think it’s safe to assume that’s not what she’s looking for.