<p>David, you are sure to find out the answers to all these questions and many more when you come to visit but in the meantime, I would suggest you choose the school that you really feel is the right choice for you, not your parents. Stanford has a superb physics department, though Harvard’s is really fine as well, so you’re covered in that department. Since your family and girlfriend are in the Bay area, and travel expenses might be an issue over the course of the year, that could mitigate in favor of Stanford as well. I don’t think you’d find many stuck up people these days on either campus–that’s kind of an outdated stereotype IMO. Good luck with your decision!</p>