<p>Another interesting link from Slate:</p>
<p>[Ohio</a> rape case judge: You are what you tweet | StarTribune.com](<a href=“http://www.startribune.com/opinion/commentaries/198824081.html]Ohio”>http://www.startribune.com/opinion/commentaries/198824081.html)</p>
<p>zoosermom - I agree with you. We can detest what these boys have done and still feel sympathy for them and their families. The two are not mutually exclusive.</p>
<p>I have to add that I cannot believe this poor girl is now receiving death threats. Sending death threats to the victim is NOT an appropriate way to show support for the boys.</p>
<p>BFG,</p>
<p>The girl lied to her parents. She didn’t tell them she was going to a party. She said she was sleeping over at a girl friend’s house after a volleyball team event. Maybe your kids are saints and never lied to you. Maybe you were better at checking to see if your kids were really where they said they would be. But, please, don’t try to pile blame on the poor mother of this girl about whom you probably know nothing and suggest that she’s to blame for the fact that her daughter was raped.</p>
<p>1more - CNN coverage has been unbelieveable. I will be writing a letter to them tonight. So much focus on how tragic the situation is for the BOYS! I hope they issue some sort of apology today.</p>
<p>I feel no sympathy for the boys. The families? Some, especially if they have any siblings. For those who committed the acts? None.</p>
<p>Momof2, all big three stations have been sickening. Though not bleeping out her name might take the cake for me.</p>
<p>I have no sympathy for the boys who did this. They are NOT toddlers from thoughtless, impulsive behavior is understandable. </p>
<p>But I have never met a single parent whose kids never did anything wrong. Now most don’t do things like this, but even good parents can have kids who do bad things, and many lousy parents are just living what they have learned in their lives. When that newborn baby is placed on her chest, there is no mother who says that she would be fine with him going to jail someday.</p>
<p>Wait, so the girl getting plastered and going off alone with the football players has no bearing whatsovever on the crime, but somehow one person’s comments on a college forum are going to “give them future openings to commit more violent felonies which may jeopardize the safety of the greater public.” Right.</p>
<p>There’s a lot to be said for being smart, and taking safetly pre-cautions. It won’t prevent you from being a crime victim, but you can greatly reduce the risk. That’s all I’m saying. Parents need to step up and supervise their kids–boys and girls both. Again, that won’t stop all wrong-doing, but like our parents used to say, “Nothing good happens after midnight.”</p>
<p>Saying there’s plenty of blame to go around does not justify the crime. But it’s simplistic and naive to suggest this is just about some bad boys. It’s way more complicated than that. It was a giant fail on the part of many people.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>From the point of view of “the crime,” it has absolutely no bearing, because a woman being “plastered” does not mitigate the crime. </p>
<p>I think even saying she shares in “the blame” is inappropriate. Young men should absolutely be expected to control themselves in the presence of an unconscious female whether or not she is dressed provocatively or whether or not she accompanied them away from a party.</p>
<p>As a mother of two daughters, I warn them about doing things which would make them vulnerable-not because doing so would imply that a bad outcome would be something they would share “blame for,” but because the world is unfortunately populated by animals with no integrity or ability to empathize who would be all too happy to victimize them. As I said in another post, “conscienceless pigs.”</p>
<p>“Now you hear about people messing with passed out people, doing humiliating things to them and then posting the photos online. Try googling “pictures of passed out people”. What’s with inflicting humiliation on one’s friends?”</p>
<p>This has been going on since the dawn of inebriation. Before social media, you mostly saw it in fiction because kids didn’t record/share their every move the way they do now. (Remember when AJ’s friends on “The Sopranos” shaved off his eyebrows while he was passed out?) The movie “Kids” from 1995 depicts rape of a passed-out girl. The 1996 TV movie “Freshman Fall” shows an incoherent young woman being carried upstairs in a frat house by enthusiastic brothers. It happened, and people knew that it happened.</p>
<p>TheGFG - I agree with you. There is a difference between blaming the victim for her own rape - and pointing out poor decisions she made. She made extremely poor decisions that night - from the excessive drinking - to lying to her parents about her plans for the evening - to leaving party #1 without her girlfriends and going off in a car with 3 football players. If we want our kids to learn anything from this story - we have to be able to dissect it and see where good judgment went astray.</p>
<p>I have a hard time stomaching the major media making the violent perps to be tragic heroes as well. Really think they should rethink the way they report and should be sued for disclosing victim’s name.</p>
<p>Doubt we’ll ever KNOW if the victim in this case was drugged. All we know is that NO ONE stepped up to protect her in any way.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Indeed. It’s something that’s a minimum expectation of being a well-adjusted human being…self-control. </p>
<p>The fact is that in this case, the rape happened because at least 2 boys failed to exhibit any self-control over their own actions. Now they’re facing the consequences for that failure…even if IMHO the consequences is effectively a “slap on the wrist” considering the crime committed.</p>
<p>And I am male.</p>
<p>I do not think it is complicated at all.</p>
<p>Two teenage boys raped an unconscious girl. </p>
<p>People get drunk all the time, people pass out all the time. They do not then rape each other given the opportunity.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>First of all, she did not “go off alone” with the football players. They carried her out of the party when she was passed out. This is a bit different. No?</p>
<p>Also, those of us familiar with rape drugs detect that ruffied behavior in the way she was acting in the video. But, ruffies are out of the system so fast they are difficult to detect.</p>
<p>Have you actually watched the footage? Read the texts? Seen the pictures?</p>
<p>If a man passes out in a bar and gets murdered does anybody say “He asked for it?”</p>
<p>I’ve never heard that. Ever. </p>
<p>She was lying flat on her face puking in the middle of the street while a guy digitally penetrated her. What part of that is not horrifying to you? What part of that is not horrifying to everyone?</p>
<p>The most likely time for acquaintance rape to happen to a girl on a college campus is in the first week of her first year of school. What part of that says, boy is she stupid? Cuz to me it says, boy are these criminals predatory. Basically you are saying that if a girl gets drunk at a party, she is responsible for being carried out of that party, penetrated while she is passed out and stripped naked and ejaculated on and having videos of this sent to all of the people in her home town?</p>
<p>What if a boy passed out at the same party and was carried out of that party and penetrated while passed out, stripped naked and ejaculated on and had videos sent to all of the people he knew back home? Would we say he was responsible for that?</p>
<p>This thinking is a part of the problem.</p>
<p>Exactly, sax! </p>
<p>Unfortunately in our blame the victim rape culture, some will never understand that simple concept.</p>
<p>Honestly, I really doubt that this horrible incident will change anything because no one truly wants to examine the fact that there are many reasons for these assaults taking place and that change will involve acknowledging that complexity. It’s just too easy to blame “jocks” or “greeks” or lax parenting or whatever the particular hobby horse is this week.</p>
<p>This culture these kids were caught up in is not unique to Stubenville, or communities where athletics are important, or people who belong to a particular religion or ethnic group. It exists and is accepted in nearly every community across the country and until someone reports a crime, everyone looks the other way. Then there is an uproar for a little while and eventually things return to status quo. It is sad but not surprising any more and no matter how many young men are sent to jail, it will continue as long as this culture is accepted.</p>
<p>Sorry, rockvillemom, but even though you say you are not blaming the victim, it actually sounds like you are blaming the victim. It clearly was not her choice to leave the party like that. She was incapacitated. Trying to find a grey area means mitigating the guilt of the boys. No. Just no. There is no gray area.</p>
<p>From what I have read - she left party #1 and went with the boys willingly - and walked to their car. Her girlfriends tried to convince her not to go. I do understand she was later carried in and out of various locations. I would simply suggest that someone should have intervened at this point - before she left with the boys. If she was too drunk to know this was a really bad decision - one of her friends should have stopped her from going - and this could have been a male friend or a female friend. What if we took the concept of a designated driver and applied it to this type of situation?</p>
<p>What if we look at the fact that rape is a crime, like murder is a crime?</p>