Strategy to Salvage Former Fine Art Achievement?

Parents Forum
21

I wouldn’t mention it for a while and see if she comes back to it on her own. Sometimes making a beloved activity competitive or an “achievement” just kills the joy of it. If she’s talented and she loves making art, she’ll come around. Or, she will find something else she truly enjoys doing.

My kid started to enjoy her “thing” (a sport) less and less when I started pushing, truth be told. Eventually she dropped it and found something else she liked (debate) that had nothing whatsoever to do with me, ha.

22

My kid is jettisoning six years of robotics (including a national championship trophy) to do DECA for the first time her senior year.

She has my full support.

23

What is your daughter doing this summer?

24

Kickboxing, climbing, Python, Lego Mindstorm, reading political jokes (too much) and some math.

25

The things in post 23 are ALL ECs.

26

You may have to accept that art may not be her special EC for college admissions, and if she just finished freshman year, an obvious new “thing” may not yet have appeared.

But I understand your underlying concern about ECs in the college application process. I was sorry my D was slow to pick up ECs in boarding school, particularly avoiding “leadership” positions. She did not continue with her musical instrument because of logistics and the offerings at her school.

From time to time she and I discussed this in a low pressure way. I was able to show her, for instance, that two undertakings she thought she would do senior year, while fabulous, would come too late to put on college applications.

Her ECs ended up very modest. She was a mentor to a new student and a general member of an organization. She also did a term abroad. She also really wanted to enjoy her HS years and cultivate social relationships. She and her friends are going strong even though they are all scattered at different colleges.

Even though she had and has no intention of majoring in Art, that was her primary focus in HS (ironically the opposite of your D but the particulars are irrelevant). Her goal was to take every art course offered and I think she ended up missing only one. Art was definitely her passion. She submitted a portfolio to most of the colleges to which she applied. Perhaps your D will end up with a special project in her new field of interest.

We were happy with her admission results and she received much more merit aid than we expected (which was none). She’s a great kid. Some AOs saw that. She is happy where she is, having new goals, developing new friendships, and having just the right amount of challenge.

27

Adding…my kiddos did have ECs. But not a lot of them.

The music major had a ton of music related ECs. That worked for him.

The other kid was on one sport team where she was never a starter, and actually couldn’t participate senior year as an athlete. She also has significant music related ECs.

For the second kid…she really found her stride in college…and pursued more ECs in college than in HS. There were just things she became interested in doing…and enjoyed doing in college.

Oh…and she got accepted to her top choice colleges.

28

Our S19 was into tennis in a major way from fifth grade through eighth grade. USTA circuit. Lessons six days a week. It was a given in our family that it would be his main EC in high school. Our high school consistently wins state. The tennis kids here are GOOD. The summer before ninth grade, he told us he was done. He said he missed soccer and the team experience. He hadn’t played soccer in three years. We found a team for him and tried to get him enough training to play in high school. While there were cuts for the freshman team, he still made it to the dismay of the parents whose kids have been playing club soccer since they could walk. I still hear comments about the “tennis kid” who made the soccer team.

He continued to play club soccer outside of school freshman year. Then…he decided he didn’t like it for all kinds of reasons and decided to run XC.

He ran XC and track last year and will continue junior year. Doesn’t love it but has made great friends and likes the feeling of competing against himself for a time. Kids evolve. There was really no way we could have forced him to keep playing tennis or soccer.

He has other interests that will now be considered his larger EC instead of a sport. He’s been taking art lessons since he was very young and now takes all of the honors art classes at the high school as well as continuing outside school. He will take AP Portfolio senior year and have a portfolio to share. He’s also the head photographer for the yearbook and part of the art section of his high school’s literary/art magazine. I will say, though, that these extra ECs in regards to art took some pushing on my part. And, it wasn’t until the end of sophomore year (like two months ago) that he really understood that just making art and taking classes maybe isn’t enough to show a big art presence on his transcript. I didn’t insist he find additional options but did remind him when it came time to interview for that yearbook position, woke him up in time, and drove him into school early to meet that teacher. And I did suggest the literary magazine too. Now that he’s doing both of those things, he’s glad he’s added them. But I do not think he would have decided to do them on his own.

All of this to say that you can’t force your kids to do something they don’t want to do. (Well, you could but that would be awful for both the parent and the child.) But, you can guide them and give them ideas.

29

The community college classes were taken during middle school. And the awards were won in middle school. While this makes all of her achievements all the more impressive, I remember reading your previous posts and worrying about the situation a little. Middle school is just pretty early for that kind of focus, and since you were thinking about college already (prematurely, as you have learned), art may have become associated in some subtle way with outside pressure rather than inner drive and passion. Her love for it may return but the wisest thing would be to leave her to it.

She may be smart in not wanting to have her art be a matter for grading and judging, and that may also result from her doing art so early for grades and awards. Better to do art on the kitchen table for herself for awhile.

Like many young teens, it sounds like she is also very influenced by surroundings and by peers. So her school is a factor perhaps. If her love of art resurfaces and she expresses frustration, she could always go to a school with a better art program. But remember in the arts, instruction is not always the essential thing. An artist of whatever genre can continue to do art no matter where they are, at the level they are capable of, regardless of the quality of the program. I really believe that, at least at the high school level. Our school was a lousy public and several kids went on to art school and career. All she has to do is submit a portfolio, or arts supplement to the common app.

Most of all, stop thinking about college admissions for a couple of years. Just stop entirely. Wait until it is her concern, not yours. I think of our kids’ interests as waves that we help them ride, purely for the sake of developing. Not for anyone else’s eyes or ears or whatever and not for colleges. If you counterbalance the previous pressures, she can evolve naturally and will, I assure you, end up at a school that is good for her.

Career concerns can wait a very long time. I am not sure why she is thinking about career as a freshman. College majors don’t always match careers. And major can be chosen at the end of sophomore year- a long way away.

It seems like a very old story that the precocious wunderkind child stops doing the thing entirely. I have seen it with piano prodigies, writers, and dancers. Sometimes they return on their own terms, sometimes not.

I have written this in a few places so apologies for repeating it, but don’t fit the child to schools, find schools that fit the child :slight_smile: She’ll be fine.

ps I once said at a middle school parents meeting, where some parents wanted more homework, that really, I thought the kids needed to eat, sleep and grow and maybe not do much else!

30

“ps I once said at a middle school parents meeting, where some parents wanted more homework, that really, I thought the kids needed to eat, sleep and grow and maybe not do much else!”

Ditto. Down time is important too.

31

I won’t recommend OP stop thinking about his daughter’s college plans, rather thinking about it this way: She’s a capable student and will get into an excellent school with the guidance of her HS counselor, though not necessarily a particular college. What she’s doing now possibly is trying to get some lost middle school experiences back. Academically overloaded elementary and middle school days are kind of robbing kids’ youth IMO. When they get older they can do much more.

I’m generally happy with our public schools, kind of laid-back without much homework, at least for unto seventh grade that I currently know. I wish schools offer something challenging for those who want to be challenged, e.g., a teacher may say: “Here’s something challenging. Whoever wants to work on them, have fun.” And later ask if they have any problems. Maybe the kids will get more opportunities in higher grades.