Student on Student Lacrosse Murder at UVa

Parent Cafe
901

<p>a blanket generalisation on people who try to make blanket judgments about the community interstudent chemistry without knowing how it works</p>

<p>although ironically some C’ville townies can be meaner than a Mainer</p>

<p>“You know what this is a product of? A culture of privilege where people always get what they want and nobody ever said, ‘no’…”</p>

<p>It’s a personal tragedy, with personal lessons (like looking out for your friends and stopping violence when you see it, and not taking it trivially). It’s not a lesson about “those spoilt kids! OMG!!!1”</p>

902

<p>UVA’s Mens Lacrosse team lost to Duke tonight. Love’s sister was there supporting the Men’s team.</p>

903

<p>Coming in late here- so apologies if this has been said a million times already. I was reading about this case in a gossip rag (People magazine) at the hairdressers yesterday. He had apparently threatened her before. His aggressive behavior was not a surprise. Sad that nothing was done sooner to protect her</p>

904

<p>Interesting that the men’s team lost to Duke. UVA’s star senior bailed on Duke (he was their top recruit and committed when the rape scandal hit) and went to UVA. My boss describes lacrosse players as “little football players” in terms of attitude/aggressiveness.</p>

905

<p>jym626, I don’t know, even if she had reported anything about GH it would have been enough? What would have been done? I feel that I could use your words of “coming in late here” to express how I feel about learning about the amount of sexual assault on college campuses. With my first being a boy, I was guilty of not being as concerned about this issue and didn’t pay as much attention I guess. #2 is a girl and I feel like I had better be more informed for her sake.</p>

<p>From all accounts I have read recently, they say sexual assaults are under reported on every campus. But there are a couple of sites that were shared on another thread “Is UVA safe?” that I have looked at. It was very interesting to see the breakdowns of crimes reported at various schools. That link is [Campus</a> Security Data Analysis Cutting Tool Website](<a href=“Campus Safety and Security”>Campus Safety and Security)</p>

<p>UVA, along with several other schools in my state, has had increasing numbers of reported sexual assaults. However, having higher numbers of reported sexual assaults at a school can be seen as a positive thing. In that other thread (which was started back to 2007 ) UVA’s Dean J suggested, as does the UVA Women’s Center website, that their women report more cases because they know they should and are aware of the resources available to them. </p>

<p>My concern is, if this is true and then if those who report it see that nothing or very little is done, could that prevent others- like Yeardley Love- from doing so and instead choosing to remain quiet? From googling about this subject the other night, I saw an article in the Washington Examiner that had some very interesting information about the differences in how area schools handle reports of sexual abuse. This part of the article says a great deal I think:</p>

<p>"Georgetown University and the University of Virginia have protected perpetrators in the past by asking victims and suspects to sign contracts promising they wouldn’t discuss the outcome of an investigation, said S. Daniel Carter, policy director for Security on Campus Inc., a nonprofit that studies safety on American campuses. University of Virginia officials said the contract created a safer reporting environment. </p>

<p>Carter noted that the University of Virginia has more stringent disciplinary guidelines for cheating than sexual assault. A U.Va. student found guilty of cheating on a test is automatically expelled, but no such clear-cut punishment awaits a student found guilty of sexual assault.</p>

<p>Virginia Tech students accused of sexual assault are no more likely to be expelled than their Charlottesville peers, but they are much more likely to be investigated.</p>

<p>The Office of Student Conduct investigates every account it receives – whether it be a witness account of a couple’s verbal altercation or a report from an alleged assault victim, said Deona Cureton, a graduate assistant for Tech’s women’s center and Student Conduct Office."</p>

<p>[Dating</a> violence on the rise at area colleges | Washington Examiner](<a href=“http://www.washingtonexaminer.com/local/Relationship-conflicts-trigger-most-campus-assaults-93605169.html]Dating”>http://www.washingtonexaminer.com/local/Relationship-conflicts-trigger-most-campus-assaults-93605169.html)</p>

<p>I think that there are going to have to be profound changes made in how UVA and other schools punish reported sexual perpetrators. I truly hope these awful recent incidents are used as a catalyst for changes that will send the message that this behavior will not be tolerated. I am sure there are many legal issues that could arise because of the nature of this crime, but can’t there be some form of “zero tolerance” with something dealing with a student charged with a rape or sexual abuse? I think it should become a part of the Honor Code at Virginia and result in immediate suspension there and at any school where it occurs. That is what I am hoping will occur.</p>

906

<p>Wish I had that People magazine article here. IIRC, their relationship had ended I believe, and had been known to have had issues due to his temper and his threats. His teammates knew of his temper too.</p>

907

<p>[Efforts</a> expand on campuses to end dating violence - The Boston Globe](<a href=“http://www.boston.com/news/nation/washington/articles/2010/05/30/efforts_expand_on_campuses_to_end_dating_violence/]Efforts”>http://www.boston.com/news/nation/washington/articles/2010/05/30/efforts_expand_on_campuses_to_end_dating_violence/)</p>

<p>I hope this link works. it is an interesting article in the Boston Sunday Globe today about the differences between states in protection policies for students.</p>

908

<p>People Mag articles… (yes, she had previously broken up with him. And, he told his friends (that night) that he was going over to her house to get her back.)</p>

<p>[Inside</a> the UVA Lacrosse Killing - Crime & Courts : People.com](<a href=“http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20368740,00.html]Inside”>http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20368740,00.html)</p>

<p>[Friend:</a> UVA Murder Suspect Was ‘Obsessive’ and Violent with Girlfriend - Crime & Courts : People.com](<a href=“http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20367584,00.html]Friend:”>http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20367584,00.html)</p>

<p>*Now, days after Love’s death, troubling details about their volatile romance are coming to light. And many people in quiet Charlottesville are asking – could her death have been prevented?</p>

<p>In the new issue of PEOPLE, sources say teammates, coaches and university officials may have missed warning signs. They also say Huguely – who grew up in a wealthy suburb of Washington, D.C., and remains in jail – left behind a trail of misbehavior. More troubling, students share rumors that Huguely had been previously violent with Love.</p>

<p>RELATED: Friend: UVA Murder Suspect Was ‘Obsessive’ and Violent with Girlfriend [Friend:</a> UVA Murder Suspect Was ‘Obsessive’ and Violent with Girlfriend - Crime & Courts : People.com](<a href=“http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20367584,00.html]Friend:”>http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20367584,00.html)</p>

<p>The two young people met as freshmen at UVA. Members of the men and women’s lacrosse team, they were often seen socializing with teammates and a host of friends. Eventually they began a romance – which took a dark turn as early as last year, when Huguely reportedly beat up a teammate who was rumored to have kissed Love.</p>

<p>As authorities continue their investigation, UVA students are still reeling, asking one another whether something could have been done to save their friend. </p>

<p>Friends of George Huguely, the University of Virginia lacrosse player charged with the first-degree murder of Yeardley Love, say the violent confrontation he admitted to authorities wasn’t the first time the couple got into a heated dispute. In fact, their tumultuous relationship reportedly included several altercations.</p>

<p>“[George] was really messed up and punched a window of a car on the way over to her apartment [one] night,” a former Virginia student, and friend of both Love and Huguely, tells New York’s Daily News, recalling a recent incident when Huguely allegedly attacked Love – and did not remember the incident the very next day, which prompted their final breakup.</p>

<p>According to the friend, Huguely, 22, had been seen breaking bottles at a party before Love’s death and the UVA student told others he was going to Love’s apartment to get her back.</p>

<p>In addition to the fights, Huguely, says a friend who played lacrosse with him in summer leagues, was “obsessive” in that he constantly texted and called Love, so much so that her friends became worried about their relationship. *</p>

909

<p>I just don’t have any confidence that even if she had called the police, called his coach, or called the UVA president and complained that anyone would have really listened. More likely they would have just thought, “Oh, two upper-crust kids had a lovers quarrel” (or something dismissive like that.)</p>

910

<p>The troubling part for me, that I doubt will ever be explained, is that a friend reported that Huguely said he was going to her apartment to get her back. That same friend reported that Huguely had been breaking bottles that night. It seems as though that friend also knew that the two broke up because of a violent incident. How many others heard that? Did members of his team or her team know of his intentions? If the door to her apartment was open, no one even warned her that he was headed that way.</p>

911

<p>That is very disturbing. I don’t think it’s a question of whether it could have been prevented. The question is; why was there no attempt made to prevent it. Even if UVA officials and coaches didn’t take any action, a phone call or two to Love’s home might have prompted the family to take her home in an effort to protect her.</p>

912

<p>There is an article out that says one of the UNC players who pulled Huguely off her in February did drive her to Baltimore to take a break from Huguely. I don’t think there is any doubt that plenty of friends and family knew about his violence. No one, obviously, thought he would do what he did. We don’t like to assume the worst about people we are close to. The classic abuser can be very persuasive and contrite, promising never to let it happen again. Many believe - to their detriment. They apologize and show remorse with the same passion with which they hit and strangle. Perhaps this awful thing will cause someone, somewhere to assume the worst though, and a life will be saved.</p>

913

<p>EPTR, thanks for the link to the article. Amazing. On a personal note, reading it isn’t making me feel any better. An “F” score for the state of Virginia. Did I read this right…a female student at a Virginia state college who is being victimized by her ex- bf cannot legally get a protective order? One in five relationships at college have violence? Part of me just wants to not let her grow up if you know what I mean. :(</p>

914

<p>*The troubling part for me, that I doubt will ever be explained, is that a friend reported that Huguely said he was going to her apartment to get her back. That same friend reported that Huguely had been breaking bottles that night. *</p>

<p>I doubt that the person ever “connected the dots” nor had enough foresight to think what Huguely’s response would be if she still refused to reconcile. Who knows, maybe some had been (wrongly) telling him that she wanted to reconcile…which would have furthered his frustration at the rejection.</p>

915

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<p>This is a really chilling aspect to it. Since the friends knew of the last violent interaction and that the breakup occurred from that and knowing the behavior of George the night of the killing (surely wasn’t calm) and that he was going to try to get her back…it is odd that no friend called to warn her. Now, I agree with your next post also that there was no way the friends ever could have known Huguely was going to do anything of the level that he did that night, but even one would think they’d warn Love that he was in an irate mood and was gonna try to win her back and so to know that he was coming…not so much to warn her of an imminent attack (they could not have predicted that), but just as friends warn friends that BF or GF is mad and says they are coming over to confront you. The only thing I can think of is that the friends who overheard him that night, were his male teammates/friends, who may have not been so chummy as to warn the girlfriend, to watch out, he wants to win you back and is about to confront you. Had it been her girlfriends who overheard that, they may have told her what they heard. That seems more likely to me…not due to their gender but more due to their level of closeness to their friend. The guys may have been more of George’s friend. </p>

<p>(on the other hand, if they were all partying and drinking, nobody was thinking rationally!)</p>

916

<p>“on the other hand, if they were all partying and drinking, nobody was thinking rationally”</p>

<p>I wonder when GH’s toxicology report is going to be made public. Maybe the results are part of the court order and will not be disclosed. We know he was drunk, but were there other drugs in his system? I’m betting others will be found.</p>

<p>Heavy drinking is such a huge part of this tragedy I am afraid. There has to be more intervention to combat it on our campuses. It fuels the violent nature of our (current) society.</p>

917

<p>I think back to my sorority days with frat guys and the drama with breakups and stuff, but nothing ever rose to anything close to this. So, I think no one thought it would rise to anything close to that. </p>

<p>Would his pals/frat bros have tried to stop him if they thought he was going to go over there and maybe force his way into her home/room, push her around a bit, and/or yell and curse at her? Who knows? Maybe they would think that was interfering between a couple (even a former couple). If that’s the case, then that mentality needs to stop.</p>

918

<p>That’s exactly the type of case in which a protective order can help. His friends didn’t want to confront Huguely, but they may have been willing to pick up the phone and give the Charlottesville cops a heads up if there were a protective order in place that prohibited him from going into her apartment building. </p>

<p>In any event, it looks as if Virginia may change its laws. I’d urge those of you who are Virginia residents to write to your state reps and let them know you want something done. </p>

<p>[Officials</a> eye changes in protective-order restrictions in wake of lacrosse player’s death | Lynchburg News Advance](<a href=“http://www2.newsadvance.com/lna/news/state_regional/article/officials_eye_changes_in_protective-order_restrictions_in_wake_of_lacrosse_/27479/]Officials”>http://www2.newsadvance.com/lna/news/state_regional/article/officials_eye_changes_in_protective-order_restrictions_in_wake_of_lacrosse_/27479/)</p>

919

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<p>I agree, but I never remember a situation in which it took 2-3 guys to pull another one off his girlfriend, scaring her so much, she was driven several hours to her home to get away from the guy. The knowledge of that incident has to be a heavy weight right now. I think a decision had been made by many involved to cross fingers that they could get through the end of the year without another incident.</p>

920

<p>October 7?</p>

<p>[Crime</a> Scene - Hearing for George Huguely delayed](<a href=“http://voices.washingtonpost.com/crime-scene/from-the-courthouse/hearing-for-accused-uva-player.html]Crime”>http://voices.washingtonpost.com/crime-scene/from-the-courthouse/hearing-for-accused-uva-player.html)</p>