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I’ve been thinking about this statement since I first read it, and I’m not sure that their situation isn’t even more horrific. I can’t imagine the pain of losing a child. Especially to a violent death. But I may possible find it even more horrific to think that I could have raised a child that would do something like that. I think I agree with pugmadkate that rarely, very rarely, do you find that parents have not contributed to a situation where a child could go so horribley wrong.</p>
<p>*George Huguely - the University of Virginia lacrosse player charged with killing a member of the UVa womens lacrosse team - admitted to police that, during an argument with Yeardley Love, he shook Love and her head repeatedly hit the wall, according to an affidavit requesting a search warrant.</p>
<p>Affidavits requesting search warrants described witnesses finding Love face down on her pillow in her bedroom. Her right eye was swollen shut, there was a pool of blood on the pillow, and her face was bruised, according to the affidavits. The door to the room had been forced open and had a hole in it, according to the documents.</p>
<p>Huguely later admitted to police that he kicked his right foot through the door, according to an affidavit.*</p>
<p>Where is the mention of the computer theft? That suggests that he knew that there was a history there… </p>
<p>As shocking as this is, it’s not unusual for people to behave this way who have not learned self-control, boundaries, respect for others’ rights, control of temper, etc.</p>
<p>I believe people are responsible for their own actions and trying to pin some blame on the parents is just looking for answers that are not there. There is NO doubt he knew what he was doing was wrong. It was up to him not to do it. Few parents are perfect but perfection is not expected either. Even kids raised under horrendous conditions usually know right and wrong.</p>
<p>This guy was stalking - allegedly entered her unlocked apartment, kicked down her door, choked her, and beat her head against a wall, then left her in a pool of blood, and stole her computer to delete the record of his alleged death threats. Let it be a reminder for all of us with daughters to tell them to seek help from adults with authority (not just friends) immediately if someone starts calling, texting, or e-mailing obsessively, or shadows their movements.</p>
<p>It happens at every economic level, in every age group, and in every ethnic group. Too often, highly educated and well-off families assume that this cannot happen to their daughters, their co-workers, their friends</p>
<p>Yes, because we are seeing a growing number of children/teens/adults who were not taught self-control as a very young child.</p>
<p>My H is returning from a trip to help his mom in Indiana. He told me that he was shocked to see what bad parenting is going on amongst his nieces and nephews (who do love their kids). They don’t stop their little ones from touching things, climbing on things, etc. The adults think it’s funny when the kids swear. (One of them goes around saying, “I’m not allowed to say FXXX anymore” and everyone laughs!) I told him that this kind of lackadaisical parenting has been going on for a long time and reminded him of some incidents in our own home by past visitors with little kids (and I ADORE kids…love them, love them, love them!!!). </p>
<p>I don’t think enough parents realize that those early boundaries/self-control lessons that are taught when kids are still very small, are the building blocks for mature behavior later.</p>
<p>“I’d also like to think that some time between the time Huguely left Ms. Love’s apartment with her computer and the time the cops showed up at his door, some sense of remorse and an awful realization of what he had done set in”</p>
<p>For his family’s sake, I hope that’s true.</p>
<p>My first wish for the children in my life is not that they be happy. It’s that they don’t inflict suffering on others. I could live with it if they were unhappy without hurting anybody else. But if I brought someone into the world who wrought evil like this…that, I don’t know if I could live with.</p>
<p>“BTW…this was a spoiled kid…he had a “nanny”.”</p>
<p>In a lot of families I know, it’s the nanny who counteracts the spoiling and is the reason the child grows up into a decent human being.</p>
<p>I am nauseated by the assertion of the defense lawyer. You have got to be kidding me? An accident…What a load of pompous, self righteous, bs. But you can see the writing on the wall, or in print, if you read his words from the Post article a few years back. There is a discernable degree of superiority there.</p>
<p>So many kids today aren’t held accountable for their actions…I feel for his parents, but I have absolutely no respect for them. Obviously this kid has been given the world and led a pretty comfy life. I bet he has never learned to be accountable for anything he has done…He was capable of doing this because as mom2collegekids said, he had learned no boundaries to his behavior. </p>
<p>I see it all the time in working with kids. Mom and Dad make excuses almost from the beginning of their child’s life and and don’t deal with the missteps or make the kid own up to their misbehavior and then suffer the consequences for it. They blame the teacher, blame the coach, blame the school; it has to be someone else’s fault, my kid can do no wrong. Well, yes they can and yes they do and it is up to us as parents to straighten their butts out before they are about 10 years of age or they go onto to feel that they can do whatever the H… they want to and get away with it. If this idiot gets off bc of Mom and Dad having the money to buy a fancy lawyer and they manage to work the system…Absolutely sick…I hope he goes to jail for the rest of his life and never sees the light of another beautiful Virginia day.</p>
<p>“If this idiot gets off”</p>
<p>No. Freaking. Way. Not unless everything we’ve read so far turns out to be false and there’s tape showing that the police are lying about his confession. A fancy lawyer will get him to plead guilty to something. You’d have to be insane to go in front of a Virginia jury on a murder 1 charge with these facts.</p>
<p>*I believe people are responsible for their own actions and trying to pin some blame on the parents is just looking for answers that are not there. There is NO doubt he knew what he was doing was wrong. It was up to him not to do it. Few parents are perfect but perfection is not expected either. Even kids raised under horrendous conditions usually know right and wrong. *</p>
<p>Knowing “right from wrong” is different from developing self-control - which is done at a young age. </p>
<p>*“BTW…this was a spoiled kid…he had a “nanny”.”</p>
<p>In a lot of families I know, it’s the nanny who counteracts the spoiling and is the reason the child grows up into a decent human being. *</p>
<p>Many loving parents have no idea how important those early years are. This kid had a nanny. Not a British nanny…LOL…but some young girl who probably didn’t have the knowledge/experience/discernment to nip some behaviors in the bud when he was young. His parents probably didn’t either…likely relied on the young girl nanny to raise their child.</p>
<p>Yes, people are responsible for their actions. And, parents bear some responsibility (not legally, but morally) if they didn’t do their part to insure that their children learn self control, respect for others, etc. </p>
<p>And, yes, kids need to hear “no” a lot as they grow up so that they don’t freak out when they hear when they’re older.</p>
<p>I believe in some kind of afterlife judgment. I’ve told my kids many, many times, that I won’t have to answer for how other people raised their kids (which is why I had to say “no” to things, while other parents were saying “yes”), but I do expect to have to answer to how I raised mine.</p>
<p>3bm, don’t get me wrong. I think this boy’s parents will have huge grief that is also horrific. I feel badly for them, no question! I simply meant that as horrific as it is for them and will be the rest of their days due to what their son has done, they at least have their son still living. The girl’s parents have the horrific grief and then added to that, no longer have their daughter. Both have huge grief, of course. I just think adding to the grief to no longer have your child on this planet is even more than terrible grief but to still be able to speak to your child. This doesn’t diminish the grief that George’s parents must be experiencing. And I do feel sorry for them. And I don’t like the train of thought of blaming the parents in any way. I also think the fact that the kid had a nanny is irrelevant. The last thing his parents need are blame on them. They must feel guilty that their son could have done this to another. They have lost their son too but again, in a different way…still terrible…but he is still here.</p>
<p>3-5 minutes?</p>
<p>That was no “accident”.</p>
<p>I no longer feel sorry for the guy.</p>
<p>If this idiot gets off bc of Mom and Dad having the money to buy a fancy lawyer and they manage to work the system…</p>
<p>Don’t worry, he’s not going to get off. His defense team (and it will be a team) will realize that no jury is going to let him go free when the prosecution is going to have this girl’s gorgeous picture in the room the whole time. </p>
<p>So, they’ll do a plea deal and it won’t be light. 15 years minimum…probably more if the prosecution thinks they have a strong enough case to get a lot more years…</p>
<p>*3-5 minutes?</p>
<p>That was no “accident”.</p>
<p>I no longer feel sorry for the guy.*</p>
<p>Exactly. That’s how long (sometimes longer) it takes to strangle a person to death with your hands. That’s why “the accident” claim won’t work.</p>
<p>*Lets not jump to the conclusion that he felt no shame about what he had done. *</p>
<p>Who cares if he felt shame or regret. he likely felt regret because he realized how this would impact HIS LIFE.</p>
<p>multicultural…there is no information released at this time of strangulation. The other member was giving an example of how intent can happen at the last minute such as during a strangulation. Don’t jump to conclusions as the facts are not yet released as to cause of death.</p>
<p>Mom2collegekids- Since when does having a nanny mean you are spoiled? In my world it meant there were 2 working parents.
These tragedies always bring out the ridiculous generalizations.</p>
<p>I agree he is likely not going to get off on this. But I bet they make a case to plea for lesser charges.</p>
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<p>I don’t know how rare it is, but there are good parents who raise kids who do evil things.I’ve known two examples of this. There have been others in the news.( Remember the minister’s kid/college kid who robbed a bank because he’d become addicted to internet gambling? ) There but for the grace of God go I. Lets not be in such a rush to condemn his parents. </p>
<p>I think that’s especially true in this case because it sounds as if the young man may have been drinking. Anger plus booze is a bad combination. I’m not excusing him–I’m just saying that not alll young men who do horrible things in that situation have incompetent and/or uncaring parents.</p>
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</p>
<p>On the affidavit.</p>
<p>This guy better worry about the UVA women’s lacrosse fans that are waiting for him in jail. Yeah, they’ll teach him.</p>
<p>The prosecution will consult the family about this too, but they don’t have to follow their wishes. If the family is comfortable with pleading out to 2nd degree, then that could happen. Sometimes the family just doesn’t want to go through the ordeal of a trial. If the victim were different, he might have a chance at manslaughter. </p>
<p>The thing that haunts me about this is the fear that she must have felt when he came through the door. The idea that my child’s last emotion was intense fear would compound my grief.</p>
<p>Ms Love grew up a few miles from where I live and, and while I didn’t know them, I know many who did. It is just so heartbreaking.</p>
<p>*Sometimes the family just doesn’t want to go through the ordeal of a trial. *</p>
<p>Yes, that’s what happened in the Mark Hacking case - he killed his wife Lori.</p>
<p>Mark Hacking, 30
Sentence: Life
Held at: Utah State Prison, Draper, Utah
Earliest parole date: 2034</p>