I think the key here and in what you’re saying is accurate. Every kid is different and we all know our kids.
When my oldest started high school every teacher had a website and every assignment was online. I could always see what was going on and remind him. Then when grades would post it was very easy to see if something was missing. I knew I needed to hover with this kid. By the time he graduated, the school was switching to google docs and more class info was on that and the only way to access it was through your school email. This kid was NOT about to give me his email. My twins, one of them gave it to me and on occasion I would look at the school stuff but knew they were always on top of things and by their senior year our school switched to schoology, so not only could we not see anything at all on a teacher website, you couldn’t even compare what different teachers were doing and neither could kids since it was all through your specific teacher’s schoology pages. They also don’t update grades as well as the prior system but they managed and I stopped even having to ask anything of them or my youngest because they’re totally different than my oldest.
For college though, they definitely wanted me to proofread their common apps, they needed my credit card to pay also. Everything was printed out before submitted, etc. It’s a long process but you want everything to be perfect. For college I check nothing other than when I have to pay. I’m divorced and my ex husband pays a fixed amount. For our twins we just decided that he pay double towards to make it easier to he pays his share to the one twin, I pay the rest and it’s as smooth as can be.
The other place we have access is Health Portal for one of my kids. That’s recent due to covid. The other one there’s a paper on file but their system isn’t as good and she is afraid to give us online access because the school scared them about sharing that. lol So it’s fine.