A couple years ago I saw a study that said people were happiest in their 50’s. I’m sure you can find studies that say people are happiest in their 30’s, 40’s, and 60’s, too.
That’s probably because they’re done supporting their kids.
Those statistics tell other people’s stories.
My own story is that I have a wonderful husband, 3 amazing kids, a job I love, 4 caring siblings, a mom I adore who is about to turn 85, and a host of inlaws, nieces, nephews and friends. All have come through for me, and I for them, and would do so again in a heartbeat.
I’m very happy with my life right now, and have been at each stage of my life.
Ha! I’m 58 and have a 19 yo college student. Just goes to show that we are not all at the same stage in life at the same age. Which is why these studies don’t mean much.
This.
Well I guess it’s always a matter of perspective. Some people spend more time looking to the future, which makes them have more pressing issues than that (and incidentally, being single becomes a problem). Most women, for example, can’t afford to be like that in their mid-late twenties because they have a biological clock that they have to worry about.
Persistent health issues suck. The happiest very old people I know are those who have the health of a 60-year-old at 80.
My mid to late twenties were very good but I was too stupid at the time to realize it. I had a lot of anxiety but looking back at it I don’t really know why. Married to a great companion, good health, good friends, no kid worries, good jobs, no mortgage.
I was pretty happy in my 20’s when I was single with no kids and few responsibilities but when you have young babies and a job it is very difficult. I am much more forgiving of myself now. I will go to the gym in a ball cap with no makeup before work. I do not sweat the small stuff as much as I did. I think there are season to life and there are good things to look forward to in 20’s 30’s and 40’s but I have to say that my 40’s are pretty great as far as stress. (excluding the common app, apply texas and 45 essays)
Well, I guess I can look back at certain periods where something bad happened or I struggled with something. There hasn’t been any decade without something challenging going on. But over all, I still have felt I’ve had a pretty good life and feel happy and blessed.
I think I would feel differently if something horrible happened to one of my children. All bets are off in that case. I pray that I never have to go through that, and I feel so awful for any parent who experiences it.
As long as my kids are happy and healthy, I feel I have it pretty good.
@simba9, as I posted above, there appears to be relative consensus among the studies that people are happy in their 50s and later through 75 or so. There is relative consensus among the studies that they also are happy in their early 20s. The question is whether there is a U-shape (less happy from 20s to 50) or flat. I guess the same comment applies to @bjkmom. @NeoDymium, you are correct. It is health issues that appear to cause the dropoff at 80.
I had some serious health issues in 2008-- a mastectomy, radiation, reconstruction.
And it was a miserable year. But at the same time, I saw it for what it was: one horrible year out of the first 50.
I can see though, how those in chronic pain face a severe downgrade in quality of life.
Outlier here. My 20’s were meh…between finishing college, moving to two new places, starting several new jobs, getting my masters…and getting divorced from my first husband.
My 30’s and beyond have been terrific.
I’m happiest when (1) all my kids are happy/doing well at the same time AND (2) I am in a very “fit,” low weight phase. These two things converge on and off…not decade related.
I read an article a couple years ago about the U . The lowest part of the U for women was ages 54-57, which makes sense. After that it all starts going uphill. I’m in the middle of that U right now and it fits me perfectly.
The decade I was happiest, meaning things were great for an extended period of time, were my 40’s. Kids in grade school, happy social life, still felt young, no health issues, financially stable.
20’s were definitely not my favorite. Maybe before I graduated, but that’s it.
Our twenties were the hardest for both Dh and myself. And for my kids. The 20s are really tough for young people now, so no, I don’t think this study rings true at all. It gets better.
After your 20’s your focus changes from yourself to other people - spouse, kids, parents, work. Maybe the study actually means that you are happiest without much responsibility.
I always was a late bloomer but finally have a method to quantify it. My happiest time was 25-35, successful career, finally desirable by females, wild vacations to Cancun, Amsterdam, London, Munich, got married and all 3 kids born. At 36 my wife (she was only 31, not a late bloomer) was diagnosed with cancer and the following five years were miserable.
So five years. I was a late bloomer, five years behind schedule. Maybe I won’t be miserable again until 85 years old.
23 was my best year, socially & professionally … the sad truth
I think we were happier when we still believed that effort could make all the difference, and that there would always be a safety net, or that we could create one for our kids, and that possibilities to re-invent oneself into old age were always going to be there.
That is sobering, frazzled2thecore. Yikes. I agree with so many posters - when the kids were young, my friends kids were their friends. We had lots of get togethers with friends and their kids and our plans were our kids plans. So that was probably our 30s. 50s are tough - I was glad to see that statistic about women hitting a U between 54 and 57 - well - I guess glad is too strong a word. But as you get into the 50s, you do face some stark realities as noted above. I look forward to having my children feeling settled and launched.
Up through the end of high school, there really isn’t much variation in what you can actually do because the best way forward is to do well in your classes and perhaps try some extracurriculars if they are to your liking. Afterward, that starts to change, which can lead to some conflicts of interests that cause parents and children to clash. Nothing out of the ordinary there, as frustrating as it might be.