Since I am doing this through a language school, not part of a university. I don’t think they have that kind of support system. There are no other American students at the school, but there are English speaking students from around the world. I’m staying with a host family, but the Japanese life is so crazy I barely ever see them, just for dinner or sometimes on the weekends. So, I don’t feel 100% comfortable around them.
I don’t think my parents realize how bad it is. I eat the bare minimum just so I don’t find myself collapsing in a foreign country in the middle of the city. I lied to my host family the other day that I was eating out with friends just so I didn’t have to eat with them (or not eat and throw out half the food.)
I just told my (own) family I was feeling anxiety, I haven’t really told them about my history of depression. I guess I’m scared, not because they won’t understand, but because I hate making them worry, and what if this breaks their heart? I would feel horrible. Should I tell them about it?
This question has been floating around my head for the past few days, but I guess I would need someone to give me “a little push”.