Stupidest Song Lyrics

Parent Cafe
121

<p>Along those lines, this one by Morrisey always disturbed me quite a bit:</p>

<p>"The more you ignore me
The closer I get
Youre wasting your time
The more you ignore me
The closer I get
. . .</p>

<p>I will be
In the bar
With my head
On the bar
I am now
A central part
Of your mind’s landscape
Whether you care
Or do not
Yeah, I’ve made up your mind</p>

<p>Beware!
I bear more grudges
Than lonely high court judges
When you sleep
I will creep
Into your thoughts
Like a bad debt
That you can’t pay
Take the easy way
And give in
Yeah, and let me in. .
It’s war. . ."</p>

<hr>

<p>Um, yikes!</p>

122

<p>IMHO, no contest! I love you, Neil Diamond, even though you wrote:</p>

<p>I am, I said
To no one there,
And no one heard at all,
Not even the chair.</p>

<p>How could you?</p>

123

<p>Ahem.</p>

<p>I believe we need to divide these into categories: </p>

<p>1) Songs with phrases written with silly grammar/word structure (Happy Together, Ebony and Ivory, I am I said, Jessie’s Girl) </p>

<p>2) Songs that make no sense (Mairsie Doats, MacArthur Park)</p>

<p>3) Songs where the composer was clearly using recreational drugs (I am the Walrus, In-a- Gadda-Da-Vida)</p>

<p>4) Ridiculous story songs (Boy Named Sue, Rocky I’ve never been in love before, Run, Joey, Run, Pina Colada Song)</p>

<p>5) Songs where the composer had an inside joke (Happy Together, Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds)</p>

<p>6) Just plain creepy songs (Every Breath You Take, etc)</p>

<p>Carry on…</p>

124

<p>^^^
7) Songs where no one knows the real words (Louie Louie)</p>

125

<p>^^Yes, excellent.</p>

126

<p>8) Pretentious songs </p>

<p>I’ve Never Been to Me</p>

<p>Oh, I’ve been to Georgia and California and anywhere I could run
I took the hand of a preacher man and we made love in the sun
But I ran out of places and friendly faces because I had to be free
I’ve been to paradise
but I’ve never been to me</p>

127

<p>9) Songs with truly disgusting lyrics (My Humps, Milkshake, Baby hit me one more time etc.) Britney, Madonna and Fergie take the lead in this category.</p>

128

<p>Frank Sinatra certainly didn’t spend the money to get good song writers.</p>

<p>Regrets, Ive had a few;
But then again, too few to mention.
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption.</p>

<p>To think I did all that;
And may I say - not in a shy way,
No, oh no not me,
I did it my way.</p>

129

<p>Wasn’t **My Way **written by Paul Anka?</p>

130

<p>^^^ Yep, as was
Having my baby, what a lovely way to say how much you lovee me. </p>

<p>Yeech!</p>

131

<p>Paul Anka, the worst songwriter ever to get rich at it, with the possible exception of Rupert Holmes (“Pina Colada Song,” “Timothy,” “Him”).</p>

132

<p>What took me so long to open this thread??? You are my people.</p>

<p>My favorite line from Having My Baby is:</p>

<p>The need inside you
I see it showin’
Whoa, the seed inside ya
Baby, do you feel it growin’</p>

133

<p>There’s a definite correlation between dropped g’s and ick factor, isn’t there–especially when sex and its consequences are involved.</p>

<p>I think that verse must have been written about 6 months after “the thought of rubbin’ you is gettin’ so exciting.”</p>

134

<p>here are my two:</p>

<p>Shannon…you remember that 70’s song written about one of the Beach Boy’s dogs, an irish setter.</p>

<p>SHANNON IS GONE I HOPE SHE’S DRIFTING OUT TO SEA
SHE ALWAYS LOVED TO SWIM AWAY
MAYBE SHE’LL FIND AN ISLAND WITH A SHADY TREE
JUST LIKE THE ONE IN OUR BACKYARD </p>

<p>Nice… I hope she is drifting out to sea!</p>

<p>My second vote goes for Wildfire</p>

<p>Who has ever heard of a KILLING FROST?</p>

135

<p>The Shannon song wins…hands down
here is a great parody:</p>

<p>What’s going on in your head?
You murdered your dog - she is dead
And you say its better to keep it quiet
Don’t you think mom would have known
The dog was missing from home
Your family dysfunctions - truly out there</p>

<p>Chorus</p>

<p>Shannon is gone you say
And swimming in the sea
Okay - but what confuses me
If you know all that then you must have seen her go
And we know that dogs swim really slow</p>

<p>You tried hard to pretend?
You know you belong in a pen
You’re so bizarre and gad the poor dog
And mom wouldn’t feel so damn bad
If you hadn’t killed her poor lab
I bet your dog doesn’t even miss you</p>

<p>Chorus</p>

<p>Shannon is gone you arse
You dumped her in the sea
Must have smoked some strong stuff that day
I hope she found a family
Out on a fishing trip
A family that really gives a s**t</p>

<p>Ah ah</p>

<p>One that won’t toss their dog and split</p>

136

<p>The expression “killing frost” (or “hard frost”)–one that freezes and kills the plants in the fall-- is not unfamiliar to me. (I’m from the Midwest.)
However, it doesn’t make sense in the song because the horse was lost in a blizzard.
I guess you COULD have both of these in October in Nebraska. . .but the really serious blizzards come later.</p>

137

<p>@musicamusica (#23)…LOL! Did anyone ever see the Letterman bit from MANY years ago when they played Billie Jean with the word “CHAIR” over where it says Kid? One of the funniest bits ever, I still laugh out loud when I think of it. If only I could find it on youtube!</p>

<p>Let’s not forget “Timothy”…</p>

<p>…Hungry as hell no food to eat
And Joe said that he would sell his soul
For just a piece of meat
Water enough to drink for two
And Joe said to me, I’ll take a swig
And then save some for you</p>

<p>Timothy, Timothy Joe was looking at you
Timothy, Timothy god what did we do</p>

<p>I must of blacked out just bout then
Cause the very next thing that I could see
Was the light of the day again</p>

<p>My stomach was full as it could be
And nobody ever got around to finding Timothy…</p>

<p>??? They ate a donkey, evidently…nice.</p>

138

<p>musica reminded me of the funniest thing my kids found last night on youtube. It’s a takeoff of the Aha song, “Take On Me.” Google that and “literal version.”</p>

139

<p>10) Consistently cheesy composers/lyricists (Paul Anka, Neil Sedaka, Neil Diamond, Barry Manilow)</p>

140

<p>4) Indiana Wants Me. The sirens at the beginning of the song always startled me when I was driving. The other one that I nominate in this category is The Night Chicago Died.</p>