I think Subaru kind of encouraged the lesbian demographic thing, actually. Navratilova was their Forester celeb endorser for quite a while.
OP, if you want a higher vantage point, which I like too, why not get a more typical SUV? Since you want to drive it for a long time, look at the brands with reliability. Frex, Hyundai has a 10 year warranty on their cars.
I felt the Forester I had had stuff go wrong more often than either any of the Toyota, Honda, or Hyundais we’ve driven.
As for heated seats, I am not a fan of leather - too hot and sticky in summer, too cold in winter - and my Forester was the first car I found with heated cloth seats.
I do feel that Suburu is a brand with reliability. It’s what I’ve had my eye on for a long time. Countless threads on CC in the past and real life people have supported the reliability. I do understand any car can be a lemon, but to be honest, I don’t want to put too many ducks in the pond to pick from. Within the family we’ve had a myriad of SUV’s - Mazda, Saab, Jeep, Mitsubishi, GMC - I’m currently driving a Saturn Vue Hybrid which sits higher than a car.
I will say that I did find the Forester fun to drive.
Yes, H got cloth seats with heated seats, too.
I swear the same people who make ugly couch fabric make the ugly car seat fabric. It often looks so yuck!!!
The heated seats do get very hot. There are two settings, however. Whatever the mechanism is, it’s a rough version, and not like the heated seats of a more luxury brand (which is much more even).
Suburu WILL be my luxury brand!!! 
And here in Ohio, I’ve earned my right for ANY heated seat the past two winters!
Ha ha, it’s my luxury brand too. But they do get HOT. It’s that turn the shower up to full heat feeling.
I had several "little things " on my Forrester break. A seat latch, Audio Jack, a piece of plastic on the console. Maybe I am rough on the car. I also had an expensive Power steering fluid pump break recently at 70K.
I am a bit disappointed in it. Not enough to get rid of it though
I start with the seat heater on high and often turn it off, feeling like I’ve been sitting on a Pannini press. Seats are leather, which I hope will wear well for the decade or more I plan to drive this car. they are also pale gray, have yet to test them in hot weather.
I’m not sure when eyesight was first put in foresters so finding a used one might be hard. I’m using it, but haven’t “tested” it. It alerts me when I’m going out of lane (driving around an obstacle when the road ahead is clear and I am not using the turn signal indicator). If a car is stopped in front of me it will tell me there’s an obstacle, and then after I’ve stopped and the car ahead has moved it will let me know the car ahead has move. I’ve wondered if this is a New York only feature, as drivers in this state are lightening fast to let you know if you haven’t moved when the light changes to green. Eyesight occasionally turns itself off - if the sun is shining directly into the cameras, which is when I would like it to work as it means the sign could be shining directly at my eyes. Dealer told us you cannot get a black colored car with this version of eyesight because the heat or glare (not sure which) interferes with the camera. The Outback has a safety feature on its back up camera that the Forester does not have-it “sees” to the side when you are backing out of a space rather than seeing just directly behind you.
Agree about the ridiculousness of the stereotypes, that’s why I attempt to make light of them.
I had the predecessor to the outback back in the 90s. It was a Legacy SW with all wheel drive. That was my first “mommy car” and I loved it. I drove a Forrester as a rental car recently, and it simply wasn’t comfortable for me. I am just now purchasing a new Impreza hatchback for my son who totaled his NOT all-wheel drive car driving in bad weather in New York recently. Good luck with your decision, and let us know what you decide.
I have beige leather seats (not in a Suburu) and they still get very hot in summer. I keep a towel in the car that I throw on the drivers seat if I remember. If I don’t I sit on it. I know some car now have a cooling seat system in them.
2011 Outback here. It replaced our much-missed (at least on my part) Odyssey. We went back and forth between that and a Forester, and decided on the Outback. Not sure I can tell you why, but it just seemed to “fit” better! I am sold on the heated seats. They came with our package and in the winter, I prefer driving the Outback to the Prius because I get warmer much faster in the Subaru.
Go to Maine and every other car is a Subaru. The woman who handled our sale at the dealership had a 15 yo Outback and a kid at Colby. I trusted what she had to say about driving in snow and hauling college gear.
Our 2015 Outback was superb this winter and handled better than any other car I’ve owned. The Eyesight system worked as advertised according to my ADD daughter. Plus, we added a dashcam on the windshield that did not interfere with the Eyesight system. I wish the car was bigger and had some luxury features. I chose the Outback over the Forrester because it was bigger and felt more comfortable.
My old Outback had all the bells and whistles (heated windshield wipers!) I thought I’d miss the heated seats but my Forester gets the heat going so soon that I don’t.
Wow, that lesbian thing cracks me up! Subarus are very popular here, with all the hills and winter driving. I think the issue with the hidden warranty was the leaking head gaskets, my 2001 Outback was out of warranty but was fixed for free. Then our 2004 Impreza developed the same problem. It was not included in the extended warranty but my dealer fixed it for $100. We have used the same Subaru dealer for 25 years.
When I was shopping for a new car in 2010 I looked at Honda and Toyota small SUVs, but they did not have models with both manual transmission and AWD.
The one thing I ABSOLUTELY HATE about the Subaru Outback is the fact that the doors do not automatically lock when you place the vehicle in drive. I often forget to lock my doors because all of my other vehicles do so automatically.
I just heard on TV That Subarus have the best resale value. I didn’t know that, so I figured I’d pass the info along.
I drove a Forester for almost ten years and have had my Outback two weeks. I would have bought another Forester but we were looking for a tow vehicle and the bigger engine is only available in the Outback. We had to wait three months for it and it is much more luxe than any car we’ve ever owned. It is SO much quieter than Forester (that was really my only complaint about that car) with a smoother ride. The bells and whistles are nice; the back seat is more commodious. The driver’s seat has more adjustments and is considerably more comfortable than my old Forester. Having said that, if we could have gotten the Forester with a V6 that would have been my choice. Even with all the seat adjustments in the Outback I sat higher in the Forester. The visibility (especially towards the rear) was much better. The Forester was so easy to park. I put 140K miles on the car in less than ten years and only had a couple of small repairs (<$3K total). The reliability ratings for the Outback are not as good. And a Forester would have been $8K or $10K less.