<p>Personally, I would never, ever, tell my kids to do something to someone because “they’d just as soon do that to you.” That kind of rationalization goes against all the integrity I’ve tried to instill in them.</p>
<p>Past couple of days have been “Bad news, good news…” Roommate’s portion didn’t get done on schedule because of a family emergency, and we had some moments of anxiety over it. But as of yesterday, both S and roommate (he says) had mailed their respective deposits, and roommate’s mother reconsidered and signed (he says) the auto withdrawal. So it looks like it’s a done deal. They overnighted the papers, since they have to be there by Monday. Nothing like waiting till the last minute.</p>
<p>I choose to believe it’s all for the best and will be a great experience for my S in terms of growing up, developing responsibility, and moving toward independence. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.</p>
<p>Thanks for the advice and commiseration. I’ll let you know how it goes!</p>
<p>Meanwhile, H left this morning to fly to see his aunt, who is failing rapidly. Sat in traffic and has missed his flight. Was able to switch to a later one, so we hope for no more delays. I just spoke with him, and traffic is moving now.</p>
<p>And our belongings arrived in customs on the 22nd, so maybe they’ll be released soon and we will have furniture again.</p>
<p>I feel like a Morton’s Salt commercial. “When it rains, it pours.”</p>
<p>Binx:</p>
<p>I’m glad things seem to be looking up for your S. I was thinking of him the other day as I read the piece in the NYT about “housing virgins,” that is, young first-time renters in NYC.</p>
<p>I looked up the article you mentioned, and now I’m scared again! I guess I won’t be able to relax until he’s actually in the place. Maybe not even then. On the plus side, the agency does seem to be real (website, multiple people, etc), there is no agent fee (paid for by owner, he says), and a friend did visit the building. On the negative, the apt. that a friend had viewed on S’s behalf, on the 2nd floor, was “no longer available” the next morning. So he has “one just like it” on the 3rd floor. </p>
<p>The apt. was advertised as “multiple available” (It’s a newly rebuilt building) and there were supposedly five available at the time S was looking. It makes sense that the lowest apt. would go first (a walk-up building), and yet, I wondered at the time if we got someone else to pretend to be interested, if they would also be shown the 2nd floor one. It was just overnight from viewing to accepting, so it moved awfully quick. So, after reading the article, I worry about bait-and-switch. But I am blessed with a hyperactive imagination. The article also described the quick moving market, so it’s possible the agent is telling the truth.</p>
<p>It has been a surreal experience. The ad brags about new hard-wood floors, for example, then the lease requires that 80% of the floor must be covered with carpeting by tenants! Why advertise the hard wood??? We call the agent; he says oh, it’s an old lease, don’t worry about it. We ask for it in writing, and then he calls back and says, “sorry, it’s state law about the carpeting. I didn’t know.” And so on.</p>
<p>Whenever I start to feel sorry for myself, God has a way of providing some perspective. H called to say he’s ready to board his new flight, and that the cause of the traffic jam on the highway en route was an accident with two fatalities. Guess a missed flight isn’t so bad after all.</p>
<p>jeez.</p>
<p>Consider yourself lucky there was no agent’s fee. My S recently had to pay a month and a half fee, nearly $3000, I was sick about it given the agent actually did virtually nothing. I wish I’d taken a day off to lend my pushiness to the deal but he’s 23, thought he was running out of time, so I of course backed off. </p>
<p>The new apt is all hardwood floors, obviously new or newly redone. No mention of covering 80% of them, and they remain uncovered. No mention in the lease.</p>
<p>Binx, if I’m not way too late, hopefully this isn’t a ridiculous suggestion, why not do both - grab that dorm room now, AND let your son go ahead and proceed with plans to move into the apartment. This way, you have the fall back position in place, and your son is protected by an “out” should he move into the apartment and just simply not like it or find it unworkable. I’m going to guess that with housing in such high demand, should your son find the apartment is just fine and all is well, perhaps after he’s there, say, a week to ten days, you can work out some way to give up the dorm room with little financial repercusions.</p>
<p>S sent an email on Thursday (they gave him a 9 a.m. deadline and he wrote it just before then) explaining the situation, and technically giving up the room, although expressing great reluctance to do so. They don’t work on Fridays, so if they offered someone else the room, that person gets the whole 3-day weekend to decide! But I am hoping that others are in our situation, of not being willing to sit around waiting for a dorm room to open up and have already made other plans. So it’s possible there could be an opening again if it would become necessary.</p>
<p>Apparently rooms (apartments) open up and close up quickly, so what’s available today has little bearing on what’s open tomorrow. That gives me hope that if this falls through, there might be another option. </p>
<p>clk - Yeah, I understand about feeling the need to back off. The hardest thing in the world is to watch your kid make mistakes. However, don’t feel too ripped off by the agent’s fee; apparently that is normal in NYC. Juilliard actually warned us about it, but suggested we go that route anyway, since we were working from out of town. However, we searched Craigslist under the no-fee and by owner ads first, which is where this particular apt came from (no-fee.)</p>
<p>That’s good that your lease doesn’t mention covering the floors. The super of my S’s building wrote us an email explaining that it was a law to cut the noise for the people in the apartment beneath - maybe your s’s apt is first floor? Or insulated somehow? However, when we asked for room dimensions so we could order a rug, she recommended waiting till S moved in, bought furniture, and then just cover the part of the floor left (where feet will be walking.) So I guess they’re not too strict about it. </p>
<p>Maybe at least this trial-by-error thread will help another future student who has to find a place there.</p>