We love our cottage - and it IS a “cottage,” rather than a summer home. It belongs to my in laws, but they live 19 hours away and no longer spend the whole summer there. We live about 3-1/2 hours away and spend about every other weekend there. H and I have taken over opening, closing, and caring for it during the summer months (we can only get to it April - October, since it is on an island that is reached by seasonal car ferry). They had discussed selling it, but our kids didn’t want them to let it go - even though they have not been able to spend a lot of time there in recent years, they understand that there will be time ahead when they will be able to do so. It is a lot of work, and my SIL/her family live too far away to help (plus, there is no question they would not help physically or financially). For this reason, the in laws are leaving it to us. We know the work involved, the cost involved, the time involved … but we love it enough that we want it. While we work when we are there, it’s less work than our own home. The key is to keep the place simple, and to enjoy it for what it is … a place to relax and unwind.
In my neck of the woods, a “summer cottage” usually refers to something quite palatial in that old money, clenched jaw, G&Ts on the tennis court kind of way. 
@doschicos, someone I know apparently has a “cottage” that used to be a bed and breakfast.
I have never seen it, but it sounds different than what I think of as a “cottage.”
It’s so interesting how these terms have regional differences. Here in Texas you have a “lake house”. Can be rustic or super fancy. When we lived in NOLA, they were called “fish camps”. Relatives in the PNW have “cabins”. My friend who has a family place on one of the Great Lakes is the only one I know with a “cottage”. Hers has been in the family for 80 years. Rustic and summer only.
Oh wait, I do know a co-worker from New York who is excited that next year her child will be old enough to “summer at the cape” like she grew up doing. At the cottage. I have no idea what type of cottage it is.
We’ve gone up to Maine nearly every summer since the kids were little, usually the same house for a few years running (the first two sold, the third is now for sale.) I ran through all the numbers about buying, how many weeks out of the season we would want it and when we could rent it out. In the end, we decided renting someone else’s place for one or two weeks fit our needs and is cost effective. We all love each house and have gone to the same area, same time of year, same beaches, same shops and cinema, same as if we owned.
Each home needed different sorts of major repair and then upkeep. The current one is right on a cove, fog, lobster boats and all. All of us get excited about going, now including the SOs.
“Never buy lakefront property without knowing about what’s underwater.” I’d add, “Never buy on the coast without knowing what the new coastal regulations are.”
@lookingforward We’ve also vacationed on the Maine Coast many times. Very short rental season. Also, the salty ocean air and weather leads to a lot of wear and tear/maintenance.
Rustic = cabin to me. Our cottage is not rustic.
Our situation mirrors @kelsmom 's situation - other family members didn’t want to deal with the upkeep and expenses so it was left to us. No other family members on the deed.
I do think if you’re thinking it will be a “family cottage” that you involve the rest of the immediate family in the discussions. The decision is yours but would be good to have the kids opinions too.
Our cottage is not rustic…the kids call it a cottage but I never do. Love it. So happy we did this 25 years ago. When all our friends were “upsizing” we kept our starter place (which was an old summer cottage) and added the second home instead of moving into bigger. The kids like it better than “home” and when they are 'home" for a visit they want to get there. We are there maybe 3 out of 4 weekends all year and it’s not a long drive away, so it’s not used strictly as a summer home. I’m not to into camping but the kids camp at “the cottage”. We’re hoping to hang onto it as so some of our friends have had to sell the family summer places - it’s a very real real issue these days with scarily high taxes - to leave to the 'kids" although know knows…one of my bouys has his heart set on land on Beaver Island so maybe they will be mad if H and I hang onto it and bequeath it to them. There are issues that come along with passing these places on. Personally, I’d sell my home, which is in a resort area and miserable for “normal people who just want to get to the grocery store on the weekends” in the summer and retire there before I’d sell that place if I had to sell something then someone could have my “home” as a “summer place” and deal with the traffic and summer noise.
My wife and her sisters inherited her mother’s large Cape Cod house, which was the main thing her mother got in her divorce over three decades before. My wife is determined to keep it. She is the youngest, so has the most memories there; her older sisters had already left home when it was built, although they visited there plenty. My mother in law literally impoverished herself to hold on to it.
It’s a source of great ambivalence. Without it, my wife and her sisters would have much less close relationships, we would barely know our nieces and nephew (and their SOs and children), our children wouldn’t have really great cousin relationships. It’s a 7-hour drive from our house, more if there’s traffic, which there often is. With a lot of work, we can almost cover its annual expenses by renting it out for most of the summer. My wife and I cover the difference – the deal for the moment at least is she doesn’t have to sell it, but no one else is going to kick in any money to keep it. There’s no way we could afford to buy anyone else’s interest out. It would not be that great of an investment – the value seems to fluctuate wildly, but the range hasn’t really increased in 20 years.
Some of the next generation is close enough to use it regularly (i.e., a 5-7 hour drive), and others not so much (i.e., Colorado, Seattle), and that is going to be a strain sooner rather than later. It does help a lot that all of the kids have great memories there, and so far they have been enthusiastic about keeping it. A few years ago, right after my mother-in-law died, I knew that one of my sisters-in-law was going to demand that it be sold, or that her interest be bought out. She drove my daughter up there for a family weekend, and told her as much. But after a family hootenanny with four kids playing guitars, banjo, and mandolin, and everybody singing and fussing over a baby . . . she never even suggested that the house be sold, and she signed up for the keep-it plan. There’s a lot of wealth disparity among the sisters, too. Some don’t need to think too hard about their retirement security; for others, their interest in the house will almost certainly have to be monetized eventually.
We could take really nice vacations with the income we spend or forgo on the house. But we wouldn’t be taking the vacations with my wife’s sisters and their families, and our children might not want to come, either. And we probably wouldn’t be taking them in a place so rich with memories – the only constant place in my wife’s life as she was growing up, and her family moving here and there every couple of years, the first place we ever spent time together as a couple after acknowledging our mutual crushes on one another, the place in whose cemetery her mother’s remains are buried.
My parents sold my grandmother’s beach house in Canada when I was 12, and my mother regretted it the rest of her life (although she dearly loved the fancy city house the proceeds helped her buy). What she really missed, however, was her grandfather’s beach house, across the street from her mother’s (and blocking beach access from her mother’s house), that her mother had sold long before I was born. Every time it came in the market, she would agonize over making an offer. And face the fact that because her children had scattered and continuity had been lost, she was not going to be able to re-build the kind of family closeness she had enjoyed there as a child.
We bought a second home 1.5 years ago. It started its life as a cabin and was added to and totally remodeled 5-6 years ago. It’s on the water, salt - not lake, and with the guest cabin included it can house the extended family.
Our children are grown now,but we were looking ahead to retirement as well as (extended) family’s want/need for inexpensive vacations. H conned me into looking at places one weekend. We looked at three places and bought the third. My criteria was that it didn’t smell damp or musty and not require any work; I wasn’t going to spend my time off on a building crew.
It is up to date, built to high standards, and pretty low maintenance. On a wooded lot, the landscaping on the water side is pretty PNW natural and only requires seasonal weeding and deadheading. We can collect oysters or clam on the rocky beach.
It has a whole house generator, so no worries about the frequent power outages during fall and winter storms. We have it stocked with all the basics food-wise and bring fresh stuff over as needed. Washer and dryer so no laundry lugging. My goal this year is to have enough clothes kept there so we can go at a moments notice.
Door to door, it’s about 2 hours, depending on how crowded the ferry is (30 min on the ferry itself). We can drive around if the ferry has a 3+ hour wait.
I wish I could spend more time there. H is able to go over more often. We have a canoe and a sailing dinghy and I’m doing my darndest to keep H from buying a larger boat. Maybe after he retires.
Sadly, FIL sold the lake cottage 15 years ago (FIL and his dad built it themselves in the late 1940s) without asking if we wanted to buy it from him or even telling us it was for sale. At less than 90 minutes from our house it would have been close enough to go to every summer weekend.
Some other family is making memories there.
H’s cousins had owned the cottage across the street from ours since the 40’s, and we were very close to the owners’ kids - and our kids were close with their kids. The 3 owners sold it this summer. It was a gut-punch, and we miss our weekends with family. It’s really hard when new people move into our memories.
Neither we nor any of our loved ones own or have owned a beach house or cottage or lake one. One of my former bosses did co-own a beach house and D’s friend has one. One of my friends has two beach condos that she rents out. It is a lot of maintenance and expense. If you rent it out, there is more wear and tear but it can generate some revenue. We prefer to just rent when we want to vacation and just go where we feel moved to go. My sibs and folks and we all live on the same island but aren’t sure where the next generation will settle. Have many memories gathering at different family homes over the years.
We have a second home that’s near but not at the beach–, not a “cabin”, just a drab tract house, really, but water, water, water nearby in three directions. We love it and go there almost every weekend, and most of the summer (it’s a 2 and a half hour drive on a good day.) It’s the same area that our extended family got together for vacations at for many years, though we didn’t buy it till the kids were grown up. They love the area, so we know they’ll always visit. We plan to retire there full-time eventually. Maintaining two houses IS a lot of work (our “main” home is tiny and falling apart from neglect, honestly, because when we’re here, we’re at work.) I’ll be happy when we’re back to just one.
There is a big “cabin” culture here in Minnesota. Seems as if everyone goes to the lake or “Up North” on summer weekends. H’s family bought a nice family cabin on a small but beautiful lake 26 years ago. H and I purchased the cabin 4 years ago when his 80+ parents were struggling to pay taxes. It is only a 90 minute drive from our city home. We did a major remodel and now have a lake home that we use every summer weekend and about every other weekend in the winter. I head to the lake on Thursday morning, grocery shop on the way, unpack and bake goodies for the weekend. I love my Fridays when I go to the Farmer’s Market in the morning and then have the day to relax on the water until the rest of the family arrives after work. We have Happy Hour on the pontoon and we can spend the weekend skiing, tubing, canoeing, on the paddle board or just reading in the hammock. Everyone’s stress level just drops as soon as they get here. We keep it open all year so we have clothes, toiletries and food here so we can come at a moment’s notice. D1’s husband just asked if he could use the home in a few weeks to invite couples up for a surprise birthday party for her. He is planning on visiting local wineries and breweries and maybe some ice fishing. We love it!
^^^This sounds like a slice of heaven. Sign me up! (oh, we already have a cottage! Just not as close and not a year round spot). I want to be you on Thursdays and Fridays @NorthMinnesota !
It does sound great, NM. This thread is sweet. It reminded me to talk to the girls sbout this summer and they both just texted back a definite yes.
There is a family “cabin” in the mountains in my DH’s family, but it is a plane ride away for us. Some of the nearby family use it a lot, but others don’t go at all. There is a lot of reluctance to rent it out. Not sure what will happen when it is passed on to DH and siblings.
My kids have great memories of being there, but unless there is income through rentals, not sure it will stay in the family. There is a lot of conflict about who uses it how often and who is getting the main benefit without putting in any money.
I didn’t grow up with a vacation home and not sure I would want one. Those that have them here have beach houses and non-working moms spend a good part of the summer at the beach. But they tend to be very costly. I like variety and have good luck renting homes so not in a big hurry to buy. One couple just bought a country house and were gone pretty much every weekend. But their grown kids and grand-kids did not come up as often as they thought they would - traffic and the need to get things done on weekends for two working parents seemed to be the issues.
Love to think about summer cottages. And would love to visit all of you that have them!!!
My H inherited a summer place on the Penobscot Bay in Maine. In his parents’ circle of friends no one spent the summer in their homes in NJ, they all had a place to spend the summer to escape NJ’s heat and humidity. Ours is not a cottage but a huge historic home. We have spent significant sums of money for upkeep and taxes through the years but my H has such fond childhood memories of the time spent in the house that he refused to sell.
We are seeing a significant number of homes in this Maine town up for sale because the children and grandchildren of the deceased owners cannot afford the upkeep and it is increasing harder for our children with their families to take off at the exact time to have a vacation together.
I suggest rent, don’t buy. You can have fun and leave the upkeep and maintenance to the owners.
Thank you all for the wonderful responses. I read one and think, “Yes, a cottage is for us!” Read the next one and some of the realities of owning one scare me! I think renting one for a while is the way to go to see if we like being in the same place all of the time. Keep the responses coming, though! I love reading everyone’s experiences and learning for all of you!