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<p>Now where on the planet did she learn that bullheadedness works? I wonder…hmmmmm.</p>
<p>The two of you have always had great instincts about each other. Let it continue. </p>
<p>What a wonderful description of your cancer-damsel-in-distress episode. The image of suits running to your aid. Four hours of faucet-running tears. You write so well, latesy. I hope it is as cathartic to write as it is to read.</p>
<p>cyber blessings to the rabbi looking after you.</p>
<p>Maybe Georgetown is not in USNWR because they did not release the medical equivalent of SAT scores and are being dissed, like some schools we have heard of ;)</p>
<p>LTS- I hope that your big cry was cathartic, left you feeling more at peace with the stress and tension of all your decisions, and that when somebodies got in trouble, they made some changes so what happened to you is less likely to happen to any one else.</p>
<p>Your DD knows what she needs to do, if following you everywhere is what feels right to her, let it happen and enjoy the time together. You will make some wonderful memories together, some lousy ones, too, no doubt, but it’s all part of life and she needs to share this journey with you.</p>
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<p>Your strength, your compassion are truly extraordinary.</p>
<p>LTS:</p>
<p>You had me in tears as I read about your morning. But I think this crying jag was very much needed. You have been strong, and continue to be strong and in control; but sometimes, it is good to just let go.
Ever since you posted about calling your D from another city because you could not remember what make of car you’d rented that you had locked yourself out of, I’ve been amazed at the close relationship you and your D have enjoyed and at how the two of you support each other so well. So let your D continue to be close to you in the best way she knows, even if that means following you to Timbuktu. She is a strong, resourceful, independent and dependable woman. Just like her mom.</p>
<p>I like the image of all those suits whipping into action to stop your tear flood!</p>
<p>I firmly believe that tear floods are good for the soul, and that a big cry would have done you some good no matter what-- but I am glad to see tears are good for greasing the wheels of bureaucracy too. ;)</p>
<p>What a vivid scene you painted, LTS - you’ve been so determined not to miss a beat, to work through treatment, not to lose a minute. I don’t think many people would even have attempted it, and I’m glad that your body and emotions forced you to let go for a few hours. I know that crying is a good way to relieve stress, and I believe that tears carry away toxins, too. It was good for you, and good for you to let others help, and solve the problems, for once. I know that I am not the only one who is wishing to have been there. We are all rooting for you.</p>
<p>You have raised an exceptional young woman. She sounds so much like you.</p>
<p>I seem always to be saying, essentially, “me too!” to most things on this thread, but, well, “me too” for thinking it’s the absolute right thing for your d to be with you if it is the “right thing” for her…and it sounds as if it is. What a blessing for you both.</p>
<p>You are a blessing to us all, LTS!</p>
<p>Latetoschool, I’m praying for your recovery. Please stay strong! I opened my mailbox today, and on top of all of this college junk there was the latest issue of Time magazine - all about breast cancer. When I was younger I did not pay any attention to this other than cancer was one of those “diseases” the company where I worked wanted to target but decided to pass because it was not “in” with the venture capitalists. But lately, all I hear is someone I know had been diagnosed with cancer! While those venture capitalists and CEOs were happily chaising another ED pill, cancer has slowly raised its ugly head. I hope biotech/pharma world pays attention now!
All the best to you.</p>
<p>Oh my. I’ve been exercising such willpower and staying out of the cafe, because so many threads I’m tempted to read just raise my bloodpressure, but now I find this thread, which I wish I had read earlier. LTS, I wish you the very best and much strength of all kinds in battling this terrible disease.</p>
<p>I agree with those who’ve said crying is cathartic. I think writing is also therapeutic and hope that what you’ve written is helpful to you in keeping up with and coming to terms with everything that is happening so fast. It has certainly been valuable to everyone who has read your ongoing saga.</p>
<p>LTS: I have no “new” info for you at this time. I agree with the two appts at the two major centers, and making a choice after both appointments have been completed.</p>
<p>Crying is therapeutic, and I am glad you didn’t stop crying until you had no more tears. It HAD to come out. Internalizing and keeping those tears in would interfere with your recovery. When you need to cry, you just have to cry. Who cares who sees you. It was good to get it out in front of mostly strangers anyway. That way, its “all gone” before your big trip and presentations. </p>
<p>Your D is special, and if she relocates with you and insists on doing so, you HAVE to let her. She is doing it for you, but she is doing it for herself as well. Sounds like her employer gets stars also. </p>
<p>I am sending you good vibes. And a hug. I was not a good hugger, didn’t grow up in a hugging type of family. But I grew up hugging my D’s, and they have great hugger friends. So now I feel more comfortable giving hugs. </p>
<p>And don’t worry about who got in trouble over your appt Tues. Someone made a mistake. Thank goodness your chemo was not delayed even a day. </p>
<p>H</p>
<p>LTS…as we all have said, we admire your strength and your fierce will to fight this challenge. Having a positive outlook can be helpful. But please allow yourself to cry and be dissappointed and scared. You can be brave and have a positive outlook and at the same time be upset and scared. Who wouldn’t be? Cry as much as you need to. It’s OK. And in between the cries, get up and fight the fight and think positively. Utiilze psychological resources and support groups. You need these and anyone would. And as the rabbi said, live each day…concentrate on living…make each day count and think about living. </p>
<p>I know how close you and your D are and it is no surprise that she will be there for you to the ends of the earth and likewise. I know you don’t want to disrupt her life but please know she is not only doing this for you but for herself. She can’t have it any other way. Rejoice in your bond and that she’ll be there with you through all of this. And it sounds great that her new job is so understanding and can even arrange for a transfer and so feel happy about how that can work out for her. </p>
<p>Thinking of you and shedding a tear for how stressful it has been. Cry when you have to…let it out…then concentrate on living positively in between.</p>
<p>Your wonderful daughter! I thought also how fortunate that she happens to be working for the kind of company that could transfer her. She has no re-employment worries and can follow her heart to join you now. If she’s bookish, a good short read that might hit home for her (I don’t know her, obviously) is: When Bad Things Happen to Good People by Rabbi Harold Kushner. It addresses, in user-friendly non-academic language but deep philosophy, the question “Why me?” or for your D perhaps “Why her?” It’s been a best-seller in both the Jewish and Christian communities for years. </p>
<p>So, the big news is: it’s Wednesday. Whatever this day brings you --good, bad, or inbetween – I know you’ll make it your own and find unique meaning from it. I just hope it’s an easy day too…we can all hope for a little ease ;)</p>
<p>Timbuktu is in Mali–probably a nice place to visit, but a bad place to get treated for cancer. I hope you’re having a better day. The kind of cry you had is definitely therapeutic.</p>
<p>LTS, trust you to multi-task even in your darkest hour! The tears were needed to grieve for your larger situation, and yet also accomplished a solution to your immediate problem – getting your chemo on time. You go, girl!</p>
<p>Thank you to everyone who has posted; I sincerely appreciate it very much and your kind words have meant so much. </p>
<p>Thanks especially to the moderators and operators of this site who are permitting this thread to continue although it has nothing to do with helping anyone go to college. </p>
<p>My very good friend, the DEA exec in Texas, called when he heard about my diagnosis, and he told me that I would discover very quickly who are my true supporters, and that while some lifelong friends may desert or distance themselves, new friends, avenues of support, and complete strangers will appear from nowhere and offer their assistance. This has certainly come true from the posts to me here, and the number of PMs I have received, and so many of you have offered your names, telephone numbers, and offered me so much assistance. Some CC members have even offered local assistance as they are in Miami. My friend should know as his daughter, now 26 and in remission for the third or fourth time, was diagnosed with a very severe sort of cancer when she was a freshman in college. Over the years I have taken his frantic, distraught telephone calls in airports, train stations, shopping malls, etc.; he has been through it all - oncologists, second, third, fourth opinions, etc. His biggest frustration is that the rare type of cancer his daughter has/had, something like only 700 or so people in the country are diagnosed with each year, so, there isn’t enough money in it for big pharma or anyone else to commit lots of research resources for new medicines, and, my biggest nightmare is that my lung cancer is percieved as a smoker’s disease, and, quite logically could be mostly eliminated if people did not smoke. It’s viewed as a self-inflicted disease, and, it doesn’t have a month named for it or pink ribbons or charity events and it certainly doesn’t get the research dollars. </p>
<p>Yesterday, when we were running around getting my medical records sent off to the cancer center, I ran into the radiation oncologist. She was happy to see me and said I looked great; I told her she would be receiving an invitation to my 10th year remission party. She laughed out loud and said “yes, with all the progress and new treatments we have now with this disease blah blah blah…” - then I turned cold again; I looked at her, and I said “Dr., let’s be straight, in 30 years there have been no improvements in treating this particular cancer. There are no reseach dollars, no social support or political will, and no new drugs or therapies.” She looked at me and admitted I was right. I told her my 10th year of remission would be with the aid of my own spirit, because, at the end of the day that’s about all we have to work with - that and the same treatment scenarios that have been in place for decades. In any case, my DEA friend and I could never have imagined that our roles would have reversed so quickly, but, here we are. </p>
<p>Even here, my daughter comes to the rescue. She reminded me that even though it’s the same old chemo drugs and same radiation and no real progress etc., it cannot be assessed parochially and that the other factors - the new things we know about nutrition, the cancer personality, other very relevant health and environmental issues, social and psychological issues, exercise, etc. can and will make a difference in outcome. Oncologists hold only about 20% of the weapons in the warchest - a very critical “can’t do without” 20%, but the true improvements have come in the other 80%, she reminds me. </p>
<p>To everyone who has sent a PM that I have not answered, please be assured that I am using the information, and every single PM I have received is very, very helpful and very much appreciated. I will answer as soon as I can. In addition to going through the chemo, researching this disease and all of the psychological, nutritional and other avenues to wellness or at least to try to get it under control, I am still carrying my full workload. And an hour of chemo is never just the one hour - it’s always three or four. So I come back from it to return client calls, answer emails, and all of the other things that I do to earn money. Today mid-chemo, my associate called from Switzerland. His flight from UAE was delayed by three hours, and he was going to be late for a webconference with over 200 attendees that has been scheduled for months. So I covered the first 15 minutes of it until he could get to the internet and dialed in - while the chemo was dripping. The hardest part of that was convincing the nurses and the other chemo recipients to please keep conversation at a level so no one could detect we were in a medical environment. Everyone played along, including the 20-ish something who evidently has Stage IV bone cancer AND no health insurance, poor, poor dear, what I wouldn’t give to be able to have some way to help her get rid of her cancer…but anyway, my point is when I receive a PM, I immediately drill into the information that has been sent, and it takes some time to research each one, especially the ones that relate to nutrition, which I view as critical, and, some of the things sent to me take me down other paths of research, so… </p>
<p>Multitasking is a blast. So grateful I can do it.</p>
<p>
Latetoschool, please know that the Mod Team “has your back” and that CC is a community that extends in ways beyond the college chase. Many of us are reading this thread and very glad that you have experienced support from it. It was moderator CollegeMom who first suggested taking your posts on another thread and making them its own thread. Clearly that was the right idea as the response to this thread has been tremendous. (PLUS, this thread has required ZERO moderation LOL – everyone is on their best behavior here, another testament to you! :))</p>
<p>Your posts are affecting many people, some of whom will never be known to you (almost 15,000 views as of today). I am sure those who have sent you PMs do not expect you to respond to all, but purely want to express their support. </p>
<p>THANK YOU, LTS, for sharing your journey with our community, and THANK YOU, CC posters, for your wonderful supportiveness to a member who is going through a most challenging time. You are ALL inspirational. </p>
<p>Best wishes, and do keep us “posted” on your progress as you can.</p>
<p>JEM, thank you for your post, I appreciate it very much. </p>
<p>Regarding other persons viewing, if it helps anyone to know, I have been extensively researching the nutritional aspect of this, figuring the oncologists will bring their 20% to the table, all of their treatment plans and medicines and scans and intensive knowledge of biology and genetics etc., and, I will bring the other 80%, of which nutrition is maybe 30%: I think this is important because in order for me to have a chance of winning I must solve the roots of what caused this in the first place. But nutrition is very difficult to research: first of all, it’s necessary to sort the credible information from the flaky stuff and the snake oil sales persons, then, it’s necessary to try to figure out how it all works together, and then, trying to make sure a nutrition plan supports and does not conflict in any way with the oncologist’s hard work, and the very expensive chemo etc., and THEN, it’s necessary to try to figure out how to stick with the plan while continuing with “normal” or in my case “the new normal” life. In other words, how to get the brocoli and other stuff I need AND avoid the awful restaurant slop that I am convinced in part contributed to this failure of my immune system - while on ten days of business travel. And ten very credible but horribly vague and/or conflictive websites later I still cannot decide if eating carrots hurts or helps or just doesn’t matter - not that the carrots matter so much but that’s rather what researching nutrition is like.</p>
<p>Out of all of this reading and researching, it’s clear to me that before we have even a chance to seriously combat cancer in the aggregate, and many of the more credible information I am reading says this too, we have to do something - a LOT of something - about the environment. Just has to happen. Just like an oncologist probably cannot achieve optimal success with a cancer patient who sits there and does nothing for themselves, medical science and research alone cannot get in front of the hundreds of cancers and hope to win, if the root causes of it and especially the environmental causes continue to worsen. </p>
<p>I have in the past three weeks met sooooo many people who have cancer who just stone cold should not have it. Frustratingly and unfairly many of them are very young too. And my DEA friend told me last night “cancer is an epidemic in this country, and it’s coming soon to an address near you”.</p>
<p>There’s simply too much cancer, and if environmental causes are contributing to the extent that the more credible and well documented nutrition experts indicate, then, we have just got to vote for the right people this next election. This has to change.</p>
<p>Just to let you know, a wonderful group of praying folks (my chancel choir) will be praying for you…</p>
<p>LateToSchool: I am thrilled that you had some kind of release. Brava!</p>
<p>Mythmom, I am too, and regards yesterday’s meltdown, it was probably the best thing that could have happened, because that negstive poison had to have some way out. This morning though the red carpet was laid out and I do not think there are going to be any more administrative disconnects with my stuff. </p>
<p>Churchmusicmom, I am happy and grateful for the prayers. I did not see the rabbi today but I hope he comes by tomorrow. </p>
<p>Last though, more of a continuing vent. I continue to be amazed at this whole nutrition thing. The poor young lady with the bone cancer, she was asking the nurses today some of the same questions I have been asking my doctors, and hitting the same brick wall. “What should I eat in order to help myself? How do I improve my diet? Should I take vitamins.” etc. No one had a clue or really cared but I guess as far as the nurses are concerned it’s not their core competency. But it was obvious from her remarks that she has been asking this question of a lot of people, including her oncologist. </p>
<p>My chemotherapy costs $20,000 for three days worth of stuff dripping. The hospital serves breakfast while you’re sitting there with $20,000 worth of stuff dripping into your veins. If you’re there long enough, they serve to you lunch as well. But anyway, my breakfast tray was there when I arrived this morning. I looked but did NOT touch. Congealed, slimy bacon, greasy scrambled eggs, fruit juice loaded up with sugars and preservatives. White or nearly white bread. Margarine. </p>
<p>Now, wouldn’t it make just the slightest bit of sense to maybe come up with some fresh fruits, oatmeal, some better quality foods? After all they’re serving this slop to the outpatient ONCOLOGY section for heavens sake. If you count up the available delivery stations and the persons receiving treatment, the dollar volume of drugs flowing into various veins at any one time is just simply mindblowing. So why cannot another dollar or two per delivered tray be found for some better quality food, something that just might help get maximum value out of those very expensive drugs?</p>