<p>. . . a model (!):</p>
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<p>[Denton</a> fashion show raises money for cancer research | Dallas Morning News | News for Dallas, Texas | Science and Medicine | Health](<a href=“http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/news/healthscience/stories/012608dnmetfashionshow.59ca4d8c.html]Denton”>http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/news/healthscience/stories/012608dnmetfashionshow.59ca4d8c.html)</p>
<p>Wow. That’s a fashion show I’d attend! </p>
<p>epistrophy: You’re amazing!</p>
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<p>Hey - thanks, mythmom (and others who have offered similar words of encouragement).</p>
<p>Two quick things in response, then I’ll get back offstage (where I prefer to be; if anyone else has anything more along these lines, why don’t you just pm me):</p>
<p>–Like the rest of us here, I’m (at most) simply a supporting player; as I’m sure we’d all agree, the one who’s truly “amazing” is LTS.</p>
<p>–As for being able to share information, links, etc., along the way, well, if there’s one thing you develop in 25 years as a criminal defense lawyer (assuming you’re paying attention, anyway), it’s a certain knack for finding stuff out.</p>
<p>^^yeah, and moms develop the same skill!</p>
<p>Epistrophy, you are amazing 
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<p>But, seriously, it would not be possible to be very strong and put up the best possible fight without a lot of very, very strong people involved in support. This is very, very hard - the hardest thing I’ve ever faced. It is impactive to every single area of life. I cannot imagine how people do this who are all alone, or who have inadequate or even parasitic support systems; add economic worries to it and it seems incomprehensible. </p>
<p>NYMomof2 looking back there were a few missed opportunities in the original treatment plan. Now I have a new challenge - there are a few trials with the second line of chemo, Topotecan, and experimental drugs that look very intriguing. The problem is that I didn’t know that I needed the second line until my Virginia doctor said so Friday, or, rather, I knew I needed something, but didn’t imagine we’d be going straight to the second line, and that scared me, and then my brain stopped processing. So now I’ve discovered the trials, unfortunately, I am scheduled to start Topotecan tomorrow morning, and, if I do this, I foreclose my trial options. I cannot cancel in order to chase the trials because of the rate that small cell grows - delaying treatment for a week or two doesn’t strike me as the smartest thing to do. One of the trials sounds VERY promising, and the doctor in charge at MSK told me via email yesterday I would have to spend weeks and weeks in NYC. That’s o.k. as long as I can bring my work. I’ll just have to find some way to work out of NYC for a while. The Amtrak goes to Washington enough that I can manage that, assuming I stay “healthy”.</p>
<p>But what I now have to do, since it’s impossible to get into these trials before 8:00 a.m. tomorrow morning, is I will have to ask the chemo nurse to page my doctor, and hope I can convince him to change the chemo order to something other than Topotecan. If I cannot get it changed, I don’t know what I am going to do. I am tempted to roll the dice and try for the trial, and hope and pray the time delay doesn’t allow the cancer to grow to a point where things truly are hopeless. But just acquiesing to the second line seems like the wrong thing to do… </p>
<p>This is a very goofy way to run a treatment plan…</p>
<p>Sax, thank you for your post. I miss your entertaining threads; I wonder how the man and his goat-bride are getting along!</p>
<p>LTS:</p>
<p>Keeping my fingers crossed that things work out tomorrow.</p>
<p>Yes, LTS is completely amazing, but I like to acknowledge others along the way, too, because we so benefit from listening to each other.</p>
<p>LTS: You are very logical and intuitive. This situation you describe is very frustrating, but trust yourself. I believe you will know the right decision to make.</p>
<p>Best wishes for tomorrow. The general alternative to topotecan is CAV (cyclophosphomide/doxorubicin/vincristine). While I understand your anxiety to be treated with something while waiting to get into a trial, the best course of action is probably to request your onc’s opinion and then make your decision. It is reasonable to assume that a day or two to allow you to make a decision will not make a difference in your treatment outcome, and a reasonable onc would at least respect you for the request and to give you his best recommendation. </p>
<p>Best wishes and keep well.</p>
<p>LTS, I join with so many others in thinking of you often and hoping that some promising treatment options are made available to you soon, and that you will be able to choose one with confidence.</p>
<p>LTS, I hope that you can quickly start a treatment that seems right to you. Will the MSK trial accept you and start treatment right away? I take Amtrak regularly and it is very comfortable and civilized. It is actually the best working time I have, as there are no distractions. I’ve been taking it round trip to Boston about twice a month for 12 years, and I can count the number of times there has been a problem on the fingers of one hand. The trains are very robust to weather, and it is unusual for them to be more than 20 minutes late.</p>
<p>I have great confidence in your ability to quickly evaluate your options and make the best decision.</p>
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<p>[Cancer</a> Hope Network](<a href=“http://cancerhopenetwork.org/chn.jsp?page_id=5§ion_id=2]Cancer”>http://cancerhopenetwork.org/chn.jsp?page_id=5§ion_id=2)</p>
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<p>[Cancer</a> Hope Network](<a href=“http://cancerhopenetwork.org/chn.jsp?page_id=5§ion_id=3]Cancer”>http://cancerhopenetwork.org/chn.jsp?page_id=5§ion_id=3)</p>
<p>Epistrophy, thank you for the links; I really needed that today. </p>
<p>Didn’t do chemotherapy this morning as planned; I went, and a friend went with me; I asked the nurse to query my doctor with the chemo question, as I don’t want to foreclose my options with various trials, etc. </p>
<p>Bottom line, my doctor wasn’t in today, so, his assistant made the decision to give me a “longer than ordinary” appointment with him tomorrow, in order to talk through my questions re chemotherapy. Her concern was that if I don’t believe in the treatment plan 100%, then, it won’t work, or at least not as effectively. </p>
<p>So appointment tomorrow and then chemo starts Wednesday. </p>
<p>But then I came home, decided to lay down for a bit - bad idea as I have never even one time in 30 years taken a “sick day” for my own illness, or spent the day home from work sick. I have of course taken sick days when my daughter was ill, but, that’s been it. So I couldn’t sleep - not at all. I could not stop thinking about that I wanted to be in my office, but, I couldn’t quite pull together the energy to go - my body was screaming “wait! stop! rest!!” -</p>
<p>So, I did a conference call that was scheduled, and then, suddenly, without warning, got violently, totally sick. No clue why. This has never happened to me before - and in any case I seem to be better now, but, that was really very strange. I am choosing to believe it was something I ate, or some germ I was exposed to. Thank heavens the conference call ended when it did…</p>
<p>LTS, I am so glad your doc’s assistant was sensitive enough to make that decision and give you more time with the doc tomorrow.</p>
<p>And I can well and truly imagine that the stress of all of this (and of lying there NOT sleeping) could at least be a major contributing factor to your getting sick.</p>
<p>Hang in there, friend.</p>
<p>I hope the posting means that you are not feeling so badly now and that it passed…
Glad you had a close friend with you before you make that commitment to Chemo…I imagine you need to be wholeheartedly sure that this is the wisest move for you, and I hope tomorrow you find an articulate and knowledgable doctor ready to talk in the manner that makes the decision most clear for you.</p>
<p>your fellow CC Mom (I have an 09er in college at Duke–is your girl also class of O9?..and we live in VA, so I want you to know I believe you will find the absolute best human beings possible to fight this with you in DC…I think you made a great choice to commit to one location to call your home base while taking this fight on.
I can just imagine how much you have on your mind…may you find the distractions to get you through the hours you must be still…you are a very vibrant human being and not one to like enforced inactivity…bet you thrive on high contact work.</p>
<p>LTS:</p>
<p>There are many reasons to feel sick. Don’t hasten to ascribe it to cancer or even reaction to chemo. Hang in there, and have a good discussion with the doctor tomorrow.</p>
<p>H*ll yes. I was feeling nauseated last night. No reason I can think of. It just was. Now it is gone. And as far as I know, I do not have lung cancer. I know I am not undergoing treatment!</p>
<p>Best to you tonight and tomorrow.</p>
<p>I was under the weather much of the weekend, and other people I know have been quite sick with viruses lately. I think there are a lot of things going around. You may just have caught something, LTS.</p>
<p>I wish you’d been able to sleep today. I’m glad that the assistant was so supportive. I was thinking of you today, and wondering what was going on. I hope that the appointment goes well tomorrow. Are you also talking to people at MSK about the trial?</p>
<p>Oh LTS. You can’t imagine what we lesser humans go through. (No sarcasm intended; totally serious.) We feel ill, get sick and take days off from work all the time.</p>
<p>You have had a blessed life. I pray it can continue. Glad you’re feeling better. Will think of you tomorrow.</p>
<p>LTS:</p>
<p>As unpleasant as your bout of nausea (or whatever) today sounds, it seems that if anything is a surprise here, it’s not that you were feeling a bit “under the weather” this afternoon - it’s that you’ve felt this way, both before and since your diagnosis, so very seldom. As least in terms of the way you’ve been feeling physically, it sounds as though the glass is still at least about, oh, 7/8 full.</p>